Anonymous wrote:The minute my kids stop doing their chores is the minute I stop making dinners for the family. Also, their allowance stops. This is no i secret or surprise.

When did you stop parenting, parent?

Do you only have one child? This makes no sense.

I must be an outlier. We have a cleaner once a week so I expect a weekly pick up before her visit. Bed made daily.

Anonymous wrote:Our cleaners come every Friday- our kids must clean their rooms/bathrooms the night before they come or they clean/scrub/mop everything themselves before going out on the weekend.

Plus one.
I don’t remind them. They just need to have it ready. If they don’t- that weekend they have to pick up, clean, vacuum, dust, clean bathroom etc. Food is not in their rooms. Nope.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the clothes on the floor thing. At what point in childhood did they just decide clothes on the floor is ok?
My kid is 13 and has put her clothes in her hamper since about 18 months. I can’t see her ever just taking stuff off and leaving it on the floor.

It’s an organization problem. It happens because there are too many clothes, so it’s hard to put them away. The laundry gets more complicated but there’s no designated place for “dry clean” or “hand wash” or “collect enough wool sweaters until there’s a delicates load.” There’s no “home” for clothes that are worn but not dirty enough to be washed. Those categories start the slide, then you lose track of what’s regular dirty laundry or you stop seeing it and so don’t pick up the sweatshirt you dropped last night in exhaustion, etc etc.

Our cleaners come every Friday- our kids must clean their rooms/bathrooms the night before they come or they clean/scrub/mop everything themselves before going out on the weekend.

Mine have to reset the room every Saturday before they can do anything fun or optional. If they have a Sat morning practice they can go to that first. But no socializing until it’s done.

I don’t understand the clothes on the floor thing. At what point in childhood did they just decide clothes on the floor is ok?
My kid is 13 and has put her clothes in her hamper since about 18 months. I can’t see her ever just taking stuff off and leaving it on the floor.

I don't know the answer but I generally don't say much about the messy room. I WAH part time and it doesn't bother me too much to pick up clothes off the floor rather than the laundry basket in his closet. Or to take a few glasses/plates down to the dishwasher.

I also had a messy room as a teen and my mom was constantly expressing her displeasure. When I got my own first apartment in my 20s, I suddenly became neat and organized. Go figure.

ADHD kid. Still waiting for them to clean regularly.

Has not happened.

But they did move to a dorm and managed to keep that room clean, so I know it’s possible.

We will deal with messy but not dirty. Clothes often don't make it to the hamper and books/papers on the floor. But no food. No plates/cups/silverware can be left in their room overnight.

Housekeepers come every 2 weeks and the floor must be visible so they can vacuum/access the room safely.

Anonymous wrote:My kids cannot go out to socialize or have friends over if their rooms are not clean. It's not perfect, but it usually gets them to a decent state.

+1
They also have to vacuum their floor once a week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sort of?

I enforce no food in room.

Then I let them manage their room how they want. Once a month they dust and vacuum it and get all the paper garbage thrown out

This, kind of. I enforce no food and no damp towels lying around. And I won’t wash anything that isn’t in the hamper.

Once a month or so I get mad on a Saturday and make them clean- sweep, dust, throw away papers and obvious garbage- before they can go anywhere.

Haha. Yes to this!

I’m never giving up. I have a tween not a teen but she doesn’t leave clothes all over the floor, never has. There might be a couple of pairs of shoes out and on the floor but I’m ok with that.
If it starts getting messy I tell her to tidy her room. We are generally tidy ( not perfect) people so the expectation is there.

The minute my kids stop doing their chores is the minute I stop making dinners for the family. Also, their allowance stops. This is no i secret or surprise.

When did you stop parenting, parent?

(Same pp, hit enter too son). For now, the results of this approach have been: -success with my 17 yo, who cleans her room and some random other places at home when she thinks they could be cleaner.
-not yet success with my 14 yo, who still doesn’t care and requires nagging and help. We’ll see.