Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 08:04     Subject: Failed my test
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you didn’t want to split the check why’d you offer to? What waste of time and energy.


To see if he’s actually generous and follows etiquette. I entertain often in my house and a man who doesn’t know etiquette (for example, makes me write a check for catering in front of guests) would not fit . Also imagine we travel with a couple of friends and the other husband pays while mine is meticulously splitting. That would be weird like hell


You are so, so far ahead of yourself with this imagined worry. You won't be doing any couples travel soon, maybe ever, so save yourself this particular worry.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 08:04     Subject: Failed my test
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes OP.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 08:01     Subject: Failed my test
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I respect your test and think these are good standards.


I suspect your test and think you've posted here just to stir the pot and start a debate about "gender roles."

On the slim chance OP is for real, and not just a troll:

OP, anyone who sets tests like this for others truly needs to get out of whatever general dating scene you're in (apps?), find a group or organization with a strong focus on your desired "traditional" roles, and find dates there. I am intentionally NOT adding "church or faith community" to that list because my own religious denomination has bucked your desired gender roles for many years, thank God....You need to get out of the regular dating market and narrow your dating pool to men who are looking for those gender norms from you as much as you're wanting it from them. And then you won't be wasting other people's time, like you did with this guy.


I’m a real person it was a real date. Yes, the last relationship I had was a real life intro. But we just don’t meet naturally as many people and this guy seemed decent on the app so I agreed to his date

I’m looking for equal partnership but also an understanding from a man of equitable nature of relationships. Fair and equitable doesn’t mean splitting everything 50/50 and keeping scores
Besides, all my friends who are not even romantic with me would pay if they were inviting. I tend to surround myself with successful and generous people who fight for the right to treat others


It's true that fair doesn't mean everyone gets the same thing; it means each person gets what he or she most needs. But OP, if you cannot see how your "test" is the very definition of "keeping score," you really don't get the problem you've created for yourself. Again, consider dropping the general apps and finding a dating pool with trad men. I'm serious. There surely is a trad man/trad woman app out there somewhere. Save others the time and "test."
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 08:00     Subject: Failed my test
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.


Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman



Once OPs start coming back and trickling out details like "I make half a million," the whole story starts to smell. Oh, I'm not doubting OP might be a high earner, just doubting that anyone cares nearly as much about it as she does.

Hey, OP, find the recent thread here by the woman whose boyfriend suddenly announced he was tired of paying for things and she had to start picking up bills when they went out too. You could get your trad man who pays for things, then find out he's been resenting it, and you, all along--after you've already sunk months or years into the relationship. Have fun!


That situation won’t apply to me. I start inviting men and contributing very early on, as soon as he says to be exclusive. I usually would get tickets to shows, avia fare or hotel but never pay for a man’s food in public.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 07:58     Subject: Failed my test
Dumb test.

And it doesn’t sound like a good match. He sounds slimy.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 07:56     Subject: Failed my test
Anonymous wrote:If you didn’t want to split the check why’d you offer to? What waste of time and energy.


To see if he’s actually generous and follows etiquette. I entertain often in my house and a man who doesn’t know etiquette (for example, makes me write a check for catering in front of guests) would not fit . Also imagine we travel with a couple of friends and the other husband pays while mine is meticulously splitting. That would be weird like hell
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 07:54     Subject: Failed my test
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.


Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman



Once OPs start coming back and trickling out details like "I make half a million," the whole story starts to smell. Oh, I'm not doubting OP might be a high earner, just doubting that anyone cares nearly as much about it as she does.

Hey, OP, find the recent thread here by the woman whose boyfriend suddenly announced he was tired of paying for things and she had to start picking up bills when they went out too. You could get your trad man who pays for things, then find out he's been resenting it, and you, all along--after you've already sunk months or years into the relationship. Have fun!
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 07:53     Subject: Failed my test
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I respect your test and think these are good standards.


I suspect your test and think you've posted here just to stir the pot and start a debate about "gender roles."

On the slim chance OP is for real, and not just a troll:

OP, anyone who sets tests like this for others truly needs to get out of whatever general dating scene you're in (apps?), find a group or organization with a strong focus on your desired "traditional" roles, and find dates there. I am intentionally NOT adding "church or faith community" to that list because my own religious denomination has bucked your desired gender roles for many years, thank God....You need to get out of the regular dating market and narrow your dating pool to men who are looking for those gender norms from you as much as you're wanting it from them. And then you won't be wasting other people's time, like you did with this guy.


I’m a real person it was a real date. Yes, the last relationship I had was a real life intro. But we just don’t meet naturally as many people and this guy seemed decent on the app so I agreed to his date

I’m looking for equal partnership but also an understanding from a man of equitable nature of relationships. Fair and equitable doesn’t mean splitting everything 50/50 and keeping scores

Besides, all my friends who are not even romantic with me would pay if they were inviting. I tend to surround myself with successful and generous people who fight for the right to treat others
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 07:52     Subject: Failed my test
If you didn’t want to split the check why’d you offer to? What waste of time and energy.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 07:48     Subject: Re:Failed my test
Why so many rules?
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 07:48     Subject: Failed my test
Anonymous wrote:I respect your test and think these are good standards.


I suspect your test and think you've posted here just to stir the pot and start a debate about "gender roles."

On the slim chance OP is for real, and not just a troll:

OP, anyone who sets tests like this for others truly needs to get out of whatever general dating scene you're in (apps?), find a group or organization with a strong focus on your desired "traditional" roles, and find dates there. I am intentionally NOT adding "church or faith community" to that list because my own religious denomination has bucked your desired gender roles for many years, thank God....You need to get out of the regular dating market and narrow your dating pool to men who are looking for those gender norms from you as much as you're wanting it from them. And then you won't be wasting other people's time, like you did with this guy.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 07:46     Subject: Failed my test
Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.


Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman

Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 07:42     Subject: Failed my test
Anonymous wrote:Can't you just pay for your portion?


It wasn’t about money. It was to check his actual generosity vs pretense . And also his reasoning - yes you are right - he was the one ordering and thus had to pay higher share at a minimum offering go Dutch
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 07:40     Subject: Failed my test
Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2024 07:37     Subject: Failed my test
Can't you just pay for your portion?