Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 12:52     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Weird that people think a new to the team member should change the culture.


But it's not really fair if she was told 2 days WFH and then after she takes the job it's de facto only 1 day WFH. It's also kind of strange that they are scheduling a lot of 8:30 AM and 5 PM meetings in person at a company that has been otherwise flexible. It seems like she's willing to be in the office for normal 9-5 business hours 3 days a week which is a reasonable expectation.


OP never said she was told it would only be 3 office days. She said it was company policy but not the practice in her new department. If she had a discussion about it in advance I could see your point. But from everything she said, OP indicated that she paid no attention to the actual job requirement. She just assumed that they would be the same. I kind of feel like she made her own bed by not asking about things that were important to her.

Also daycare pick up at 8 pm? Never see her kids four days a week? A lot of hyperbole here.

Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 12:37     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
I think you will maybe be able to keep 2 WFH days but will have to adjust your hours. Are you making a lot more money? Can you move closer to work? Likely the execs have shorter commutes.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 12:30     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Anonymous wrote:Stop worrying about optics.
Charge ahead and just do a great job the way you normally do.

(I would not usually advise this about being new to cultures in norms in a job/neighborhood/school etc., but in this case they are all clearly conditioned away from work life balance and that is a stupid norm)


I disagree. I think you should worry about optics for the first 3-6 months and then slowly adjust to a compromise between the status quo and your desired schedule.

If you have an hour commute and start at 9-930, I assume you are already not dealing with kid drop off in the morning. I would go it really early on my 3 in office days - arriving at 7:30-7:45.
I would be very visibly the first person in the office - and it will be easier to leave at 5 in the future.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 12:27     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Weird that people think a new to the team member should change the culture.


But it's not really fair if she was told 2 days WFH and then after she takes the job it's de facto only 1 day WFH. It's also kind of strange that they are scheduling a lot of 8:30 AM and 5 PM meetings in person at a company that has been otherwise flexible. It seems like she's willing to be in the office for normal 9-5 business hours 3 days a week which is a reasonable expectation.


The flexibility was when she was in different departments. She clearly states that this one has "much more visibility" to the executive team. It's unreasonable to expect that responsibilities will not increase when you get a more high profile job.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 12:22     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Anonymous wrote:Weird that people think a new to the team member should change the culture.


But it's not really fair if she was told 2 days WFH and then after she takes the job it's de facto only 1 day WFH. It's also kind of strange that they are scheduling a lot of 8:30 AM and 5 PM meetings in person at a company that has been otherwise flexible. It seems like she's willing to be in the office for normal 9-5 business hours 3 days a week which is a reasonable expectation.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 12:05     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
OP, I would keep the WFH 2x a week. I'd also come in early for the 8:30 AM meetings and leave before the 5 PM meetings. Say you can call in, if need be, but you've got family obligations. Shrug your shoulders a little, as if to say, what can I do? And leave it at that. Also, try blocking out your calendar after 5 PM. If it's truly time critical, be prepared to be part of a late meeting.

Coworkers can note that if they need you in a call, they'll need to schedule it during the 8+ hours you are available.

You only have a short amount of time with your kids. Work will always be there.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 11:50     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Start looking for another job. You will probably have to take a pay cut to find something that allows you to show up at 9:30 am and leave at 4:00.


She said she was 9-9:30 to 5 and then logged in at home to do work. For someone with a long commute this is the only way to spend any time with your kids. Her commute is an hour so she is out of the house 8-6. She probably sees her kids for two hours a day three days a week. Not to mention her husband is picking up the slack when she stays late (I assume). I don't think the OP is out of line for wanting the level of flexibility she does but I fault her for not having a better sense of the team and the team culture before moving roles because she was already at the company and had more access to that group than someone on the outside and flexibility is really important to her. Now thy boundaries people! If flexibility is really important don't take a good situation for granted. I mean, go for big opportunities but understand that there are usually drawbacks to high visibility promotion-track positions.


It's not her company's (nor her co-workers) responsibility to see that she has time with her kids. They are there to do work. She can propose (or just "charge ahead") creating her own hours that are better for her, but if her company/boss says no she has other choices.
-move closer to her work so she has a shorter commute
-just accept that she will have less time with her kids
-quit
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 11:38     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Anonymous wrote:Start looking for another job. You will probably have to take a pay cut to find something that allows you to show up at 9:30 am and leave at 4:00.


She said she was 9-9:30 to 5 and then logged in at home to do work. For someone with a long commute this is the only way to spend any time with your kids. Her commute is an hour so she is out of the house 8-6. She probably sees her kids for two hours a day three days a week. Not to mention her husband is picking up the slack when she stays late (I assume). I don't think the OP is out of line for wanting the level of flexibility she does but I fault her for not having a better sense of the team and the team culture before moving roles because she was already at the company and had more access to that group than someone on the outside and flexibility is really important to her. Now thy boundaries people! If flexibility is really important don't take a good situation for granted. I mean, go for big opportunities but understand that there are usually drawbacks to high visibility promotion-track positions.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 11:34     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Weird that people think a new to the team member should change the culture.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 11:30     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Anonymous wrote:Started a new role in my company but on a different team, and 2 weeks in it’s apparent that there is much less flexibility and work/life balance than in my past 3 roles (at the same company). I am middle management - senior but not on our executive team, but this role has much more visibility to that team than my previous ones.

I have a long commute (generally over an hour with traffic) and in my last role (which I started during Covid) I arrived at the office between 9-9:30 and left by 5. This was fine with my manager since I always got my work done and often logged in at night after my kids went to bed, which was a trade off I was happy to make in order to get home for dinner and bedtime with my kids.

The challenge now is that I am regularly being invited to meetings that start at 8:30 and 5pm, and everyone else is in person so it would not be great optics for me as the newest team member to join from the car or at home. In addition, our policy is 3 days in the office each week and 2 days WFH, however nearly everyone on the team chooses to come in 4 days. That is so disappointing as I have no desire to come in an extra day that isn’t required, but again feel like it may not look great for me to be the odd man out.

Anyone have a recommendation on how to approach this to get back some flexibility? Not sure if there is really a way to change the culture on this team, but do feel like my days at the company are going to be limited if I can’t find a way to balance this job and my personal life since I have zero desire to go back to the company’s pre-Covid ways of long, grueling hours in the office every day and very limited time with my family.


The problem is the visibility of the new role and team culture. You can start coming in three days and maybe change the culture but you may feel insecure about that (I probably would) and kind of resent your colleagues who are going in four days and they may resent you. If you're following company policy I don't see a problem with only going in three days - just make people aware and try to get them to shift meetings where it would be best for you to be in person to those days to the extent possible. Same with early and late meetings, but it will again probably be a bit of a culture clash and you'll have to accept that you'll miss meetings.

I wouldn't expect to change the entire team culture, however. You may need to accept you are at a different place in life than other people on the team or that you have different priorities. Both are ok but if that's not what you want then you may need to find a better fit.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 10:58     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stop worrying about optics.
Charge ahead and just do a great job the way you normally do.

(I would not usually advise this about being new to cultures in norms in a job/neighborhood/school etc., but in this case they are all clearly conditioned away from work life balance and that is a stupid norm)


How badly does OP need the job? OP, are you in any kind of probationary period since it's a new department/job?

If OP is just working for "pin money" and to fill the time, then sure-"charge ahead" and phone in those meetings from home while everyone else is in the office.
But I doubt that's the case.
Two weeks isn't enough time to have shown them you are a good worker, even if the work is done at home. All they will see is that just a few weeks into the job and you're already trying to make special exceptions for yourself.


See, I see OP as being pretty secure after they invested all that time to hire her, esp. if she is a good performer as she said. If that's true, I think there's a good chance that they will adapt.


Where do you see that they "invested all that time to hire her?" I don't see where OP mentioned how long the hiring process was.
I don't know what kind of work/company the OP works for. I know in my spouse's line of work, if you transfer to a different department, you start a new probationary period (2 years.) Of course there are other organizations/lines of work that are not like that, but that's why one of my first questions was to ask if she was under any kind of probationary period.

Also, just as a fellow driver, rider, or pedestrian on the roads-I'd prefer if people not conduct important and distracting business while driving. But I'm sure OP is not the only one.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 10:57     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
I would cling to the 2nd wfh day but extend the in office days. 9:30 is pretty late TBH.

I think it’s easier to keep the wfh day as a boundary and it will make a difference.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 10:46     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stop worrying about optics.
Charge ahead and just do a great job the way you normally do.

(I would not usually advise this about being new to cultures in norms in a job/neighborhood/school etc., but in this case they are all clearly conditioned away from work life balance and that is a stupid norm)


How badly does OP need the job? OP, are you in any kind of probationary period since it's a new department/job?

If OP is just working for "pin money" and to fill the time, then sure-"charge ahead" and phone in those meetings from home while everyone else is in the office.
But I doubt that's the case.
Two weeks isn't enough time to have shown them you are a good worker, even if the work is done at home. All they will see is that just a few weeks into the job and you're already trying to make special exceptions for yourself.


See, I see OP as being pretty secure after they invested all that time to hire her, esp. if she is a good performer as she said. If that's true, I think there's a good chance that they will adapt.


Yes, it's a bit different because OP is a proven worker within the organization.

That said, lots of us mommy track to keep the flexibility.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 10:41     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stop worrying about optics.
Charge ahead and just do a great job the way you normally do.

(I would not usually advise this about being new to cultures in norms in a job/neighborhood/school etc., but in this case they are all clearly conditioned away from work life balance and that is a stupid norm)


How badly does OP need the job? OP, are you in any kind of probationary period since it's a new department/job?

If OP is just working for "pin money" and to fill the time, then sure-"charge ahead" and phone in those meetings from home while everyone else is in the office.
But I doubt that's the case.
Two weeks isn't enough time to have shown them you are a good worker, even if the work is done at home. All they will see is that just a few weeks into the job and you're already trying to make special exceptions for yourself.


See, I see OP as being pretty secure after they invested all that time to hire her, esp. if she is a good performer as she said. If that's true, I think there's a good chance that they will adapt.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2024 10:38     Subject: Less flexibility in new role, what can I do?
Start looking for another job. You will probably have to take a pay cut to find something that allows you to show up at 9:30 am and leave at 4:00.