Anonymous wrote:Question- will you want your grandchildren to hug you?

If they want to. A forced hug is not real.

Question- will you want your grandchildren to hug you?

I am sorry you knew a creepy single uncle.
Kids have a very good spider sense when it comes to creepy people.

Parents should pay attention around greetings (arrival and departure moments).

Parents should also ask why when a child expresses reluctance — reluctance in general —but especially reluctance (or higher grade protest) PATTERNs.

Anonymous wrote:If so, at times were these people you preferred not to kiss. Were you kissed or hugged by people that you didn’t want contact?
I am NOT talking about molestation. So please let’s not go there.
Today, do you encourage your kids to kiss aunties and uncles? If not, why?

No and no.

And my kids, if asked for a kiss or a hug from an old relative, say No and give a side hug.

Baby days are over, puberty days are here.

Anonymous wrote:If so, at times were these people you preferred not to kiss. Were you kissed or hugged by people that you didn’t want contact?
I am NOT talking about molestation. So please let’s not go there.
Today, do you encourage your kids to kiss aunties and uncles? If not, why?

Yes, was encouraged.

No, didn't want to.

Not scarred, but def don't make my kids touch anyone they don't want to.

Anonymous wrote:No. I'm not sure I've ever hugged any of my aunts or uncles, and I don't have a memory of ever kissing any relative.

This seems kind of sad. I'm an aunt and cuddle my niece and nephew as much as they let me.

Yes, Iranian-American families typically do the 2 cheek kiss to greet and say goodbye.

My father's sideof the family (Greek American) hugs and kisses at every arrival and departure. So, if you arrive at your grandmother's house, you hug and kiss around everyone, who does it to all the new arrivals.

Then, when another family arrives, the entire group hugs and kisses all the new arrivals! And so forth.....

We also hugged my father's business partners, whom we saw quite a bit when we were young because they came to dinner, when we left to go to bed after dinner. We did this easily and without being pushed until we were about 10 years old, then we simply didn't want to hug and we'd say goodnight to everyone.

Still hug everyone at arrival and departure from my father's side of the family! And all the current grandchildren - and great grandchildren - do this.

My mother's side of the family never hugged, not once. But I do hug my aunts/uncles when I arrive at their house.

I insist children are polite, they don't need to hug around, but they must say hello and goodbye. (unless really shy, then we'd be working on this by waving vs speaking)

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I hated it. Never, ever made my own kids kiss anyone.

+1

No. I'm not sure I've ever hugged any of my aunts or uncles, and I don't have a memory of ever kissing any relative.

Yes. I was a shy kid who grew into a reserved adult who still does not like social touching. I never encouraged my kids to hug and kiss relatives, and I supported them when they balked at doing so.

Yes, and I hated it.

I had a creepy single uncle with some kind of developmental delay who kissed every girl and woman on the lips. He did this to little girls and adults. My mom and aunts hated it (I heard them talking about it), I hated it, my female cousins hated it, and when I was a teen, I started trying to avoid him when it was time to say goodbye, but due to my family's culture, I never felt like I could say no if he cornered me. It was disgusting.

I can't understand why none of the adult males told him that this made us uncomfortable. It was just kind of accepted that you had to kiss Uncle Jim.

No, I would never encourage a child to kiss anybody. Not even suggest it. If she wants to and does it of her own will, fine.