Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father of a young boy, I think about this all the time. Things are so different from when I was a kid which wasn't even that long ago. You can't do rec league soccer and more it has to be travel league, summer camp signup started before the New Year, high school kids are doing charity trips to third world countries... This list just goes on and on...

You can do rec soccer. It is a choice. Most kids who do travel soccer will eventually quit and it serves very little purpose.

Agree. Even if they are “good enough” to make varsity in competitive high school, so what? Putting varsity soccer on your college app means nothing. It isn’t a hook of any kind. It’s viewed the same as any other sport or activity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father of a young boy, I think about this all the time. Things are so different from when I was a kid which wasn't even that long ago. You can't do rec league soccer and more it has to be travel league, summer camp signup started before the New Year, high school kids are doing charity trips to third world countries... This list just goes on and on...

You can do rec soccer. It is a choice. Most kids who do travel soccer will eventually quit and it serves very little purpose.

It’s really hard to find a rec soccer team after 6th grade.

I’m feeling this stress because my kid had a bad freshman year and even he got straight As the rest of HS, he probably won’t get into UMd or anything like a top 100 school. He had basically one bad month that ranked his second semester grades and it feels like there’s no recovery from it.

Anonymous wrote:As a father of a young boy, I think about this all the time. Things are so different from when I was a kid which wasn't even that long ago. You can't do rec league soccer and more it has to be travel league, summer camp signup started before the New Year, high school kids are doing charity trips to third world countries... This list just goes on and on...

You can do rec soccer. It is a choice. Most kids who do travel soccer will eventually quit and it serves very little purpose.

I think the competition is a bit artificial: generationally rich people stay rich, or get richer. Middle class and poor people can get richer than they started off, but not that much richer for the most part. And that can be achieved with generally good educational and financial decisions, but it doesn't require Ivy league or perfection. The word competition doesn't need to enter into it at all, it's just achieving what you can from where you can.

It was always competitive, OP. Many countries have had ultra competitive college admissions for generations. Here in America you just didn't realize it because you were part of the privileged. As PP said, in your generation many of the US poor or the US non-whites didn't make it to college. Now it's opened up a lot more, and you're feeling the heat.

Anonymous wrote:My wish for my son with a number of learning disabilities is to teach sailing in Costa Rica or something. Have a little place, make a few friends and be happy. Whether he goes to a top college or even college, he's well educated being such a book worm anyway. He has a bit of money he'll inherit from a Trust Fund in his 20s so it'll be enough for him to survive. He has always loved to sail and teach - he's great with kids.

I don't need him to work in an office and become a VP or CEO. I don't need him to be an attorney or neurosurgeon or engineer to be "productive." I don't need him to make X amount of money and live in a "great" neighborhood. I just want him to be happy, healthy, feel good about what he does for work. He needs very little to be happy and academically, it's an uphill climb and I'm adamant that he doesn't have to climb that mountain unless he chooses to. He can live a "small" life and if that's enough for him, that's enough for me. In no way does this make him less of a person, man, son to me. I know his worth and I know how intelligent and knowledgeable he is without society judging him. His sanity and happiness is what I care about most of all.

How big is the trust fund?

My wish for my son with a number of learning disabilities is to teach sailing in Costa Rica or something. Have a little place, make a few friends and be happy. Whether he goes to a top college or even college, he's well educated being such a book worm anyway. He has a bit of money he'll inherit from a Trust Fund in his 20s so it'll be enough for him to survive. He has always loved to sail and teach - he's great with kids.

I don't need him to work in an office and become a VP or CEO. I don't need him to be an attorney or neurosurgeon or engineer to be "productive." I don't need him to make X amount of money and live in a "great" neighborhood. I just want him to be happy, healthy, feel good about what he does for work. He needs very little to be happy and academically, it's an uphill climb and I'm adamant that he doesn't have to climb that mountain unless he chooses to. He can live a "small" life and if that's enough for him, that's enough for me. In no way does this make him less of a person, man, son to me. I know his worth and I know how intelligent and knowledgeable he is without society judging him. His sanity and happiness is what I care about most of all.

Anonymous wrote:It’s because the middle has fallen out of the middle class. To have a comfortable life and be able to afford to have agency you need to be in the top ~15%. It feels competitive because it IS.

I know some wonderful people who have opted out. They have big families, live in PG, go to Catholic parish school or homeschool. Life has a nice pace. For the most part, their kids aren’t going to highly ranked colleges. Some are, but it isn’t the norm. Will their kids be able to afford to buy homes and support families in the future? I’m not sure.

Do poor people have kids? Sure. How is that population doing in school? Not well. What is their quality of life? Poor.

If we had a more robust middle class then it would alleviate the problem.

You just described MC no?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who makes it look easy. He always makes the team and excels academically. He is hoping for an ivy.

I have another kid who is borderline good at everything and a third kid who is too young to tell. Not everyone will go to a T20 college and that is ok. My middle kid will probably go to a school like BU or Penn State. Your kid can go there too.

One of the problems is that your references to “BU and Penn State” are still top 60 colleges out of 3000…BU has a 14.4% acceptance rate…so no, most kids can’t “go there too”.

Everyone’s frame of reference is completely skewed. So, when you say not everyone will go to a top 20, you turn around and still only think top 50ish schools are worthwhile.

Agree with this! LOL. This lady feels like BU is slumming it but it's crazy hard to get into. Frankly almost as hard as several of the Ivies.
This area (DC) is so insane.

You can decide to opt out and enjoy your life without being "the best" at the "best" school. It's healthier anyway.

Anonymous wrote:Everything is so damn competitive now, and I don't know how people survive this world. It starts when someone is young with how competitive youth sports has become. It is extremely difficult to even make the JV team now. College admissions are more competitive and cutthroat than ever, and you have to be insanely lucky to get into a school like UVA, UMich, or UNC right now.

Even if you make it into a good college, the competition doesn't stop there. Most engineering, premed, and business clubs require applications and interviews to join. Greek life rejects most people who try to join. Getting research experience is extremely hard too.

And it is impossible to find a job now once you graduate.

How are kids supposed to survive now?

I don’t know about UVA in state…but you only have to be “insanely lucky” to get into UMic or UNC for OOS.

The acceptance rates are quite high for both of those schools instate. Also, both NC State and Michigan State are top 100 colleges…which means they are excellent schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who makes it look easy. He always makes the team and excels academically. He is hoping for an ivy.

I have another kid who is borderline good at everything and a third kid who is too young to tell. Not everyone will go to a T20 college and that is ok. My middle kid will probably go to a school like BU or Penn State. Your kid can go there too.

One of the problems is that your references to “BU and Penn State” are still top 60 colleges out of 3000…BU has a 14.4% acceptance rate…so no, most kids can’t “go there too”.

Everyone’s frame of reference is completely skewed. So, when you say not everyone will go to a top 20, you turn around and still only think top 50ish schools are worthwhile.

+1

Get a grip people.

Anonymous wrote:It’s because the middle has fallen out of the middle class. To have a comfortable life and be able to afford to have agency you need to be in the top ~15%. It feels competitive because it IS.

I know some wonderful people who have opted out. They have big families, live in PG, go to Catholic parish school or homeschool. Life has a nice pace. For the most part, their kids aren’t going to highly ranked colleges. Some are, but it isn’t the norm. Will their kids be able to afford to buy homes and support families in the future? I’m not sure.

Do poor people have kids? Sure. How is that population doing in school? Not well. What is their quality of life? Poor.

If we had a more robust middle class then it would alleviate the problem.

This is absolute nonsense. The world is not poor people then the country club lifestyle with great schools, 3500 sqft house, two cars, travel sports, tutors, european vacations, hawaii christmases, etc. Parents do this. Not kids. Not society at large. It is 100% mom and dad. When mom & dad get a grasp on reality this will get better.

For all of us who belong in one or more categories - non-White, non-Christian, different national origin - life and world has always been competitive and hard.

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who makes it look easy. He always makes the team and excels academically. He is hoping for an ivy.

I have another kid who is borderline good at everything and a third kid who is too young to tell. Not everyone will go to a T20 college and that is ok. My middle kid will probably go to a school like BU or Penn State. Your kid can go there too.

One of the problems is that your references to “BU and Penn State” are still top 60 colleges out of 3000…BU has a 14.4% acceptance rate…so no, most kids can’t “go there too”.

Everyone’s frame of reference is completely skewed. So, when you say not everyone will go to a top 20, you turn around and still only think top 50ish schools are worthwhile.