Anonymous wrote:It's very difficult but it helps to be ready for these accidents. I keep a lined trash can by the toilet, baby wipes, a box of nitrile disposable gloves, and a canister of handwipes. I also have a package of women's disposable underwear in a cabinet. Everything goes in the lined trash except the toilet paper and feces. I also have lysol wipes for the floor and toilet. Sometimes I just take her to the shower if it's too much to wipe off. You need to start looking for in-home help or a place that provides memory care.

My mom had an incident today - she’s on chemo and on the way home from treatment she complained about her tummy hurting and having a lot of gas. We made it to her apartment and she went straight to bathroom. She mentioned she had soiled herself so I grabbed depends and fresh PJs. I was not expecting to find her covered in diarrhea. Toilet was full and so were her depends. I had to help her gently get out of her clothes and depends and then clean her with warm wipes for several minutes.

She was so exhausted I couldn’t force her to shower but I cleaned her well and got her dressed and in bed. Then I cleaned the bathroom and sanitized it all, tossed all the trash and made sure to use Lysol to help dissipate the smell.

I’ll come back tomorrow to bathe her and do laundry. It’s exhausting and she was so embarrassed but I tried to calm her down and explain it was just the effing cancer’s fault not hers.

Then I drove home and had ice cream. 😏

Anonymous wrote:My 87 yr old mothet has alzheimer, and today was THE DAY! It was first time she stuck her had in her “stuff” while on the toilet. This probably is TMI, but I am sure many of you have had to deal with these issues with your LOs. I just came here to vent. We are looking into memory care facilities, but are also trying to nake sure she doesn’t run out of money.
She’s been with us for 3.5 years, and I am her only child. Sorry, just had to vent somewhere.

I don’t have anything useful to say but I’m wishing you luck as you navigate this next phase. I know it is difficult.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry. Memory care would be cheaper than health care aides at home.

Probably not cheaper than aides part of the day + living with her daughter though. Cheaper than 24/7 aides

This.

And if you are in NOVA, check out the day program called Insight in Fairfax. The Exec Director who runs it, Anita, knows her stuff and your mom will be in great hands and may even thrive! Frequency of attendance and routine is key, and socialization is fine by level of cognitive function. So if you sign her up for five days a week ots like $2500 a month or something like that.
Then she is with you at night and you can maybe get an aide some of that time?

Full time memory care is about $10-12K/ month.

Anonymous wrote:It's very difficult but it helps to be ready for these accidents. I keep a lined trash can by the toilet, baby wipes, a box of nitrile disposable gloves, and a canister of handwipes. I also have a package of women's disposable underwear in a cabinet. Everything goes in the lined trash except the toilet paper and feces. I also have lysol wipes for the floor and toilet. Sometimes I just take her to the shower if it's too much to wipe off. You need to start looking for in-home help or a place that provides memory care.

Thank you so much for these suggestions. They are very helpful.