Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 08:39     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhausting. Plan something with or without him. How is he supposed to know what you want to do with your time off?


You’re missing the point. Typically, two parents discuss potential plans with each other before solidifying them in order to make sure there is coverage for their children. OP’s spouse just went ahead and made plans and assumed OP would deal with kids and anything else.


+1 the kids / child care is the issue here. If there were no kids he could do what he pleased. But since there are, it’s a jerk move to assume OP will take care of them and he can do what he wants.


OP doesn’t say how old the kids are, just that they are tweens. My 12 year old tween is old enough to stay home alone. OP, are your kids old enough to stay home alone for a few hours?
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 08:39     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Would you be annoyed?

DH and I are both off for two weeks starting Friday after work. We are home for the week until we leave for vacation next weekend. We have no plans next week, but our tweens will also be home for the week(s).

Two days ago DH told me he made plans for this Sunday for a golf outing with some friends he doesn’t get to see often. Fine.

Today I mentioned something about Monday and he told me he’s joining in on a golf outing with coworkers, sort of a networking thing. Also fine, but I’m also sort of annoyed he just *made* these plans without so much as pretending to consider me or our kids while doing so. Was he a little inconsiderate or am I being sensitive?


Sounds like you’re both double booked to be out Monday.

However.

You were forthright and told him upon your making plans. He did not.

You get to go, secretive people do not.

Or both go and leave the tweens at home.

Meanwhile he needs to learn to communicate verbally, in a timely manner, or put $hit in the family calendar/ digital calendar so no one else makes plans and then gets blindsided by his personal plans he “forgets” to disclose.


+10000

Meanwhile, poor kids. mom and Dad supposed took off a whole week for staycation and no one planned anything enriching for them to do or as a family.

Soon they’ll be graduated and gone. In a matter of 4-7 years! Lots of time to golf then.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 08:36     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhausting. Plan something with or without him. How is he supposed to know what you want to do with your time off?


You’re missing the point. Typically, two parents discuss potential plans with each other before solidifying them in order to make sure there is coverage for their children. OP’s spouse just went ahead and made plans and assumed OP would deal with kids and anything else.


Worse, he never communicated his plans- penciled in or solidified. Golfing with friends, golfing with co-workers, etc.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 08:34     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhausting. Plan something with or without him. How is he supposed to know what you want to do with your time off?


You’re missing the point. Typically, two parents discuss potential plans with each other before solidifying them in order to make sure there is coverage for their children. OP’s spouse just went ahead and made plans and assumed OP would deal with kids and anything else.


+1 the kids / child care is the issue here. If there were no kids he could do what he pleased. But since there are, it’s a jerk move to assume OP will take care of them and he can do what he wants.


Reminds me of those hilarious social media videos floating around on what happens when Mom takes up golf 6 hours a day twice a week with her friends.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 08:33     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Anonymous wrote:Make some plans for the time off. Let him know those plans. Block off the calendar. You should have done this weeks ago. Otherwise, off course he wants to do fun things. Who wouldn't?


Whoa, double standard.

Hey Dad / husband:
“‘Make some plans for the time off. Let your wife & family know those plans. Block off the calendar. You should have done this weeks ago. Otherwise, off course she wants to do fun things. Who wouldn't?’”
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 08:24     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Man, no wonder you all divorce—a bunch of nasties.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 08:12     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
A bit sensitive on your part.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 08:05     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
You are right to be annoyed. It’s clear he doesn’t love you anymore. He only thinks about himself. I would hire a divorce lawyer. Dump him.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 07:57     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhausting. Plan something with or without him. How is he supposed to know what you want to do with your time off?


You’re missing the point. Typically, two parents discuss potential plans with each other before solidifying them in order to make sure there is coverage for their children. OP’s spouse just went ahead and made plans and assumed OP would deal with kids and anything else.


+1 the kids / child care is the issue here. If there were no kids he could do what he pleased. But since there are, it’s a jerk move to assume OP will take care of them and he can do what he wants.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 06:45     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhausting. Plan something with or without him. How is he supposed to know what you want to do with your time off?


You’re missing the point. Typically, two parents discuss potential plans with each other before solidifying them in order to make sure there is coverage for their children. OP’s spouse just went ahead and made plans and assumed OP would deal with kids and anything else.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 05:16     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
This thread is exhausting. Plan something with or without him. How is he supposed to know what you want to do with your time off?
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 05:11     Subject: Re:Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Anonymous wrote:I think he's being a little inconsiderate, not for doing these activities but for not communicating about his plans with you. Next week is essentially a staycation before your vacation the following week. Typically that might be a time to do some stuff around the house or do local fun stuff with your kids. That said, you do have two weeks together, and these two days are just not a lot in the scheme of things. I would just have a conversation about how to spend the rest of the time to be sure you're on the same page.


+1 He should have checked with OP before making the plans.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 04:52     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Make some plans for the time off. Let him know those plans. Block off the calendar. You should have done this weeks ago. Otherwise, off course he wants to do fun things. Who wouldn't?
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 01:28     Subject: Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Anonymous wrote:I mean did you expect him to stare at you and breathe all week?


-1

This is a mean-spirited + unnecessary response! 😠😡

OP, does he do stuff like this often?
If not - I would just let it go then enjoy your family vacation next week!

I think since your kids are older & do not need childcare then he is free to make his own individual plans separate from the family.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2024 00:58     Subject: Re:Am I just being sensitive or was he inconsiderate?
Anonymous wrote:He's treating you like a SAHM - meaning, he is assuming you are, by default, in charge of the kids because you are home and not working.


This

And don forget to pack for everyone, maintain the house and yard before leaving and mind the kids. Clean clothes returned to the drawers, garden nice & neat, Dinner on the table at 6:30 too. Thanks!