If my kid was a good friend of the kid with the recovering alcoholic parent, and wanted to sleep over at their friend's house, I would allow it. If my kid was ambivalent or a firm no based on their dynamic with the other kid, then no.

5 years is a long time. It's not like she's a registered sex offender or something.

Parent initiated sleepovers are a hard no

What does your kid want to do? Is your kid begging for a sleepover with the friend? I’d say yes, especially if they are old enough to have a form of communication like a cell or an iPad. If it’s only a parent being pushy I’d say no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would

Same here.

Same here. You kid is a teen and can tell you if there is an issue.

How old is your kid? And if there are issues, do you trust them to call you?

When I was in sixth grade, I was very excited that my new friend was coming to spend the night at my house. My mother left us and went out to the bar (a common occurrence with her). Her mom called to check in and then her mom came and picked her up. (I’m still a little bit pissed off that mother didn’t pick me up as well or report anything but whatever.)

Just tell her you don’t do sleepovers which seems to be the resl issue that you've decided to pin in this neighbor. Do you actually blame this neighbor when you tell your dsughter no every single time? That’s bizarre.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the kid at your house. It's odd, very odd that she would "beg" for this.

OP here. Right? The begging is pretty annoying. I have said firmly no for several years now and they keep asking. And to be fair I have not allowed my daughter to sleep over at any other friends home to manage this mom's feelings.

You have not let your daughter sleep at any of her friends’ houses because you didn’t want to hurt feelings of a neighborhood mom?????? Read that again and consider the order you put your daughter’s feelings. Below a random neighbor? It’s not required to allow sleepovers. Some do, some don’t and who cares which it is… but if the only reason a parent is saying no is because a neighborhood adult that is entirely unrelated and not part of immediate family may feel bad, that’s a surprising reason. Do you tell your DD that’s the reason?

It’s not the prior alcoholism that gives me pause, it’s the begging - it’s weird.

If she was bad enough that everyone knew she was an alcoholic - have you heard anything in the last 5 years? If so than she is probably telling the truth about being sober. If that’s the case then I don’t see why not.

How old?

I’m not a fan of sleepovers in general (we allow occasionally, not often).

I’d allow kid to spend time over there if 12+ and they have a phone. They can text you if they are uncomfortable for any reason . I don’t see a need to sleep over- you can always just say DC has sports practice, church or family function in the AM or some other excuse so they need to be home by 10/11 or whatever.

If a younger kid then probably no.

Depends first on how old the kids are. 6 yrs old? No. 12? Yes.

Second, who cares about the mom begging - is my kid begging to do this? If the kids are close friends & begging to do it (& my kid was older with a phone), I’d say yes. If my kid were on the younger side & not super enthused, then no.

How old are the kids? Does your kid have a phone or other way to communicate with you?

If she wasn’t going to be driving my kid anywhere I would be ok with it.
My kid is 12. I think age is a factor in this decision.

I don’t know. The mom of DD’s friend has been sober for years. DD is grown now but I didn’t know when she was drinking and my DD was over there a lot. My point is that you can’t always tell who is a threat. I would never have guessed it because she was school volunteer extraordinaire, had a very successful career, was always put together, etc. Once she was sober when my DD and hers reached HS, she shared her story with me and I could see she took her sobriety very seriously. She dedicated herself to a non-profit that educates youth in substance abuse prevention. I actually felt DD could learn a lot from her experience and I would trust her 100%. But I can see where this would be on an individual basis

When I slept over at my friends house, I was there to keep my friend company at age 12ish while the mom went to her A A meeting