You guys are unbelievable. Op buy her a new nanny bag as a gift!!!

I agree with OP. This could be a dealbreaker and it is a reasonable request to ask her to leave the smelly bag at home or car. We had a nanny that used really strong perfume on some days. I just had to tell her that I am sensitive to the smell. She came back with that she is out of the house with the kids most of the day, I’m in my home office, etc so does it really bother me? At that point I told her I didn’t want my young (1 at the time) child around it all day. I think there are studies that manufactured scents/perfumes/air fresheners/cigarette smoke impact their lungs which are still developing at that age. She agreed to not wear it. It’s a bit different from cigarette smoke cause it is easier to eliminate!

Anonymous wrote:You have got to be kidding. She's carefully leaving her stuff in the mudroom, do the kids hang out in there all day?

OTOH maybe do this good nanny a big favor and let her go for this petty non-infraction so she can go do some good for a family that is not so unbelievably controlling and petty over something that is in reality no threat to your kid's health.

Plus one
Op if she’s that good then ask her be an adult.
This is ridiculous.

I am 100 percent against no smoking however you are just stunningly silly. You have a person in your employ you think is fabulous and you can not ask her a simple question? Then depending on the answer make an adult decision with facts?

That’s on you not her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d try and wander into the mushroom when she’s in there and be like “ do you smell that”? While sniffing the air at the same time. Non confrontational step at first… if that doesn’t work ( it continues) you need to be more direct.

+1

Maybe fake wonder if someone is smoking outside your door.

Stupid. Two grown women do not need to play stupid games. Just ask her!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d try and wander into the mushroom when she’s in there and be like “ do you smell that”? While sniffing the air at the same time. Non confrontational step at first… if that doesn’t work ( it continues) you need to be more direct.

+1

Maybe fake wonder if someone is smoking outside your door.

Or maybe skip the passive aggressive BS and have a direct conversation. Nanny is an adult, so treat her with a little respect and have a direct conversation.

Anonymous wrote:White truffle bothers me eating or smelling. European black truffle is good. They are different.

Ahhh. Good to know. I think I’ve mostly been in prescribe of black truffle. Thank you!

White truffle bothers me eating or smelling. European black truffle is good. They are different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would very frankly ask her. If smoking is a dealbreaker although it’s second hand you need to have a frank conversation and start looking for a replacement.

Same. Just be direct. "I've noticed your bag smells like cigarettes. What's up?"

+million. Use your words like a grown up. Why are women so passive aggressive?

I cannot tolerate the smell of truffle. Like it makes me gag and nauseated. If an employee of mine showed up every day with truffle pasta, I'd tell them to please stop, not wander around pretending to smell something awful acting like I don't know what it is.

Super curious from a fellow sensitive nose. is it actual truffle or truffle oil? i have to leave the room if someone is eating synthetic truffle oil but i find smell of actual truffle much more subtle.

Anonymous wrote:I would give it a couple days just to make sure it’s not a fluke. Then, since there are easy solutions to this, I’d raise it. To me, cigarette smoke is different than, say, complaining that you don’t like the smell of the food your nanny microwaves. I would personally just choose a calm moment and discuss it.

I call BS that some of these commenters would want their kid receiving childcare in a place that smells like cigarettes. No one would be fine with that!

Who said this?

Anonymous wrote:I would give it a couple days just to make sure it’s not a fluke. Then, since there are easy solutions to this, I’d raise it. To me, cigarette smoke is different than, say, complaining that you don’t like the smell of the food your nanny microwaves. I would personally just choose a calm moment and discuss it.

I call BS that some of these commenters would want their kid receiving childcare in a place that smells like cigarettes. No one would be fine with that!

Who sang this?

I think you can say, I'm sorry but I'm really sensitive to the smell of smoke that seems to have gotten into your bag. Could you maybe use a different bag, or keep it in your car? If you don't have another, I'm happy to pay for one if it solves this issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would very frankly ask her. If smoking is a dealbreaker although it’s second hand you need to have a frank conversation and start looking for a replacement.

Same. Just be direct. "I've noticed your bag smells like cigarettes. What's up?"

+million. Use your words like a grown up. Why are women so passive aggressive?

I cannot tolerate the smell of truffle. Like it makes me gag and nauseated. If an employee of mine showed up every day with truffle pasta, I'd tell them to please stop, not wander around pretending to smell something awful acting like I don't know what it is.

I would give it a couple days just to make sure it’s not a fluke. Then, since there are easy solutions to this, I’d raise it. To me, cigarette smoke is different than, say, complaining that you don’t like the smell of the food your nanny microwaves. I would personally just choose a calm moment and discuss it.

I call BS that some of these commenters would want their kid receiving childcare in a place that smells like cigarettes. No one would be fine with that!

I’m with you Op. if it’s not on her clothes maybe it was a club or something. Tell her you’re very sensitive ask to keep it near a window to air out during the workday (or backporch or her car etc). If she can’t air it out in a few days at home buy her a new bag. Ignore everyone else on here. If you’re not smell sensitivie/allergic (most people aren’t) you won’t understand why this is a dealbreaker if it continues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand not liking the smell, BTDT, but you sound really controlling.

So you would be ok with a nanny who smokes, and your kids inhaling second hand smoke because the playroom is next to where she keeps her stuff that smells like cigarettes?

Op? You just said you don't think she smokes. Now you changed your mind? If she's not smoking, the kids aren't inhaling second hand smoke. There is a thing called third hand smoke. But if your kids aren't touching the nanny's bag, this is not a problem.

No it would not bother me if my child's nanny's bag, which is in the mud room, smelled like smoke.