Well midgets play lacrosse and baseball so I don’t see the issue

IME you are better off encouraging them to switch to a sport that is more suited to their body size/body type.

Op mentioned lacrosse, basketball and baseball so assume DS plays one of those. I read the post as more of a “is this what’s happening with boys across the youth sports spectrum” post vs seeking sport specific advice.

Anonymous wrote:Name the sport secretive sally

+1

What sport? You’ll get better advice if you specify

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here—DS loves sport, will continue to play and train outside of team. As long as he wants to continue playing we will support him. I grew up with sisters and our oldest is a girl so this is really my first experience with the size/strength/growth timing issue with boys so was really just asking how other supported their kids. I fully understand the competition for spots in HS, but I guess I’m just a little surprised to be feeling that so intensely at this age when there is such a range of when boys hit puberty and grow. I wrongly assumed coaches would be more open to fostering strong athletes who have not had their growth spurts yet but many/most seem more interested in big boys only. I’m seeing this with friends’ kids too—baseball, basketball, and lacrosse seem to be the three where I hear about this most.

I’m surprised you’re just facing this going into high school. Our “late blooming” son began facing it with 12u baseball. The first to grow boys were coveted by the coaches and were selected even if they’d never played. I was told by a coach that they had the “potential” and my son lacked size to be “good.” He continues to play for fun as an undersized 14u, but only on rec teams. Two years later, most of the early growth coveted players have already moved on to something else and will not play 14u travel or HS.

I find it unfortunate that coaches do this and think it really cuts boys out too early. We’ve supported him by encouraging do extra training and play rec if that’s what he wants to do while also trying new sports. He picked up tennis quickly and is done well. We’re not in an area it’s popular though and he enjoys team sports more.

+1

At 13-14U a kid who is 6’0”+ will make almost any baseball he wants (not the super elite teams) as long as he seems even slightly athletic and has even minimal baseball skills (understands the rules, can catch a thrown ball- little league type stuff ). They’ll park him at 1B for now and spend a ton of time training him heavily as a project. Have seen this time and again.

The levels of play (for example USSSA majors AAA AA etc) from 12-14U are heavily based on size. If you see a very small kid it is usually the coach’s kid, or a kid they keep out of loyalty and put at 2B.

Name the sport secretive sally

Anonymous wrote:Has this always been the way with youth sports? If not when did it start? I was a kid in the 1980s and played a lot of sports (soccer competitively, other sports were considered “rec”), but I don’t remember size being a big issue one way or another. Maybe I was oblivious as a kid?

Probably also depends on the sport. As a kid in the late 80s/early 90s, I was well aware I was “too big” to be a serious skater. I suspect it may be more obvious the stronger need for a specific body type is (like in ballet), and the further from that ideal body type you are (my 5’ friend sure noticed she wasn’t getting into the basketball team any more when everyone grew significantly taller than her in high school).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here—DS loves sport, will continue to play and train outside of team. As long as he wants to continue playing we will support him. I grew up with sisters and our oldest is a girl so this is really my first experience with the size/strength/growth timing issue with boys so was really just asking how other supported their kids. I fully understand the competition for spots in HS, but I guess I’m just a little surprised to be feeling that so intensely at this age when there is such a range of when boys hit puberty and grow. I wrongly assumed coaches would be more open to fostering strong athletes who have not had their growth spurts yet but many/most seem more interested in big boys only. I’m seeing this with friends’ kids too—baseball, basketball, and lacrosse seem to be the three where I hear about this most.

I’m surprised you’re just facing this going into high school. Our “late blooming” son began facing it with 12u baseball. The first to grow boys were coveted by the coaches and were selected even if they’d never played. I was told by a coach that they had the “potential” and my son lacked size to be “good.” He continues to play for fun as an undersized 14u, but only on rec teams. Two years later, most of the early growth coveted players have already moved on to something else and will not play 14u travel or HS.

I find it unfortunate that coaches do this and think it really cuts boys out too early. We’ve supported him by encouraging do extra training and play rec if that’s what he wants to do while also trying new sports. He picked up tennis quickly and is done well. We’re not in an area it’s popular though and he enjoys team sports more.

We had a similar experience with 12u and are now watching the number of teams shrink at 14u because the smaller kids seem to be getting cast aside by coaches and then quitting the sport altogether. The size arms race is real and it’s so sad because these are kids. DS is still hanging in with baseball but starting to feel his days are numbered while stronger and bigger kids with less talent, work ethic, and sport IQ will continue to play on.

Anonymous wrote:Has this always been the way with youth sports? If not when did it start? I was a kid in the 1980s and played a lot of sports (soccer competitively, other sports were considered “rec”), but I don’t remember size being a big issue one way or another. Maybe I was oblivious as a kid?

Same experience here. It is the popularity of competitive travel teams and big high schools. There will only be so many spots- so of course they will generally choose the bigger, more physically developed kids of talent levels are similar.

Has this always been the way with youth sports? If not when did it start? I was a kid in the 1980s and played a lot of sports (soccer competitively, other sports were considered “rec”), but I don’t remember size being a big issue one way or another. Maybe I was oblivious as a kid?

Really depends on:
-what sport
-just how late to puberty he is
-how fast they grow once they do hit puberty
-expected eventual size
-current body type- skinny, stocky etc

Both of my boys play/played baseball as a favorite sport and I can say that size and strength start to matter around 12U-13U, and at 14U size is more important that nearly any other attribute. To make or get playing time on any large HS team even as a freshman (even if it is JV) boys are generally expected to be through puberty and nearly fully grown.

My oldest was very late to puberty and was 5’3” 95lbs at 14. At 15 1/2 he is 5’10” 130 (grew 5 inches and 25lbs in the last 9mos alone) and is projected to be 6’1” (he had an endocrinologist work up with bone scans etc due to concerns our ped had about late puberty). He has surpassed many of the former “big kids” in height but honestly it will be years before he fills out. Despite working with a trainer all summer, following a special diet etc. he really can’t put on weight. He made the JV team last year as a freshman but didn’t play much, and doesn’t intend to continue with baseball this year. He is just too far behind physically in terms of strength. If he had started to grow a year earlier or was of a stronger/bulkier build in general- it would be very different.

The earlier to puberty kids tend to get in the door early- best teams and coaching, pitch & play key positions etc- and they tend to remain there. If they end up quite short (plenty do, sure)- they are moved to other defensive positions as long as they are strong and/or fast.

My rising 8th grade DS also plays baseball and is no giant at 5’7” 125 (and I don’t think he is going to end up as tall as his brother will be) but has hit puberty relatively on time if not early-ish. He is in a far different situation than his brother and will probably be in a good position for high school if he continues growing and developing. So even though I think he will be smaller in the end- it doesn’t really matter.

Note I am referencing making/earning playing time on a high school team in this post- certainly not college recruiting or anything like that.

Anonymous wrote:Op here—DS loves sport, will continue to play and train outside of team. As long as he wants to continue playing we will support him. I grew up with sisters and our oldest is a girl so this is really my first experience with the size/strength/growth timing issue with boys so was really just asking how other supported their kids. I fully understand the competition for spots in HS, but I guess I’m just a little surprised to be feeling that so intensely at this age when there is such a range of when boys hit puberty and grow. I wrongly assumed coaches would be more open to fostering strong athletes who have not had their growth spurts yet but many/most seem more interested in big boys only. I’m seeing this with friends’ kids too—baseball, basketball, and lacrosse seem to be the three where I hear about this most.

I’m surprised you’re just facing this going into high school. Our “late blooming” son began facing it with 12u baseball. The first to grow boys were coveted by the coaches and were selected even if they’d never played. I was told by a coach that they had the “potential” and my son lacked size to be “good.” He continues to play for fun as an undersized 14u, but only on rec teams. Two years later, most of the early growth coveted players have already moved on to something else and will not play 14u travel or HS.

I find it unfortunate that coaches do this and think it really cuts boys out too early. We’ve supported him by encouraging do extra training and play rec if that’s what he wants to do while also trying new sports. He picked up tennis quickly and is done well. We’re not in an area it’s popular though and he enjoys team sports more.

Malcolm Gladwell discusses the bias towards Jan/Feb birthdays in Canadian hockey.

I was a late grower and a swimmer who looked like a ten year old racing full grown women. I swapped to synchro.

Depends on sport
Depends on future projected size

You might need to drop down a level for a bit and just keep working at it if you predict future size will be there.

Youth sports kind of blows now.

Anonymous wrote:Op here—DS loves sport, will continue to play and train outside of team. As long as he wants to continue playing we will support him. I grew up with sisters and our oldest is a girl so this is really my first experience with the size/strength/growth timing issue with boys so was really just asking how other supported their kids. I fully understand the competition for spots in HS, but I guess I’m just a little surprised to be feeling that so intensely at this age when there is such a range of when boys hit puberty and grow. I wrongly assumed coaches would be more open to fostering strong athletes who have not had their growth spurts yet but many/most seem more interested in big boys only. I’m seeing this with friends’ kids too—baseball, basketball, and lacrosse seem to be the three where I hear about this most.

The girls in your family were just lucky then. I hit the genetic wall at 10 when I was biggest kid on my figure skating team (that went up to 18). I was lucky my parents were always always clear that I could skate as much as I wanted but I wasn’t to consider it a valid career plan and my self-worth didn’t depend on how well I was skating. I continued skating until I was 15 when we moved to an area without a rink and I still love it but yeah, sometimes the sports you live don’t love you back. Let him keep on but also help him migrate away from hyper competitive teams where your body type is an important consideration.