Figure out what his benefits options are BEFORE you get a diagnosis. Large companies have boxes you can check to get 2/3 salary replacement for LTD, continued 401k matches, etc. I know I am not totally describing this correctly but I know I have always opted into all this kind of stuff assuming worst case scenario. There is a cost but it will be totally worth it for you. If his open enrollment period is in November/December DO NOT GET A DIAGNOSIS BEFORE THEN.

I'm so sorry, OP. We are also in the process of finding out if DH has a neurocognitive disorder, although he is a decade older. It's too late for your DH to get long-term care insurance (which I assume he doesn't have), but now would be a good time to get it for yourself. This way, should his care eat up your assets, you'll be protected when you're older.

Get life insurance before you get any type of diagnosis. Is he on meds? There are some that have side effects that mimic dementia. Any chance he’s severely depressed? A friend dealt with a family member where the ultimate diagnosis was debilitating depression. Once that was treated, the dementia symptoms vanished.
If it is indeed early onset Alzheimer’s or something awful, either relocate near family or a low col area or get a retired family member to move near you. One of my aunts relocated to take care of her sister upon her diagnosis, and it was amazing and selfless and truly saved so much heartache and expense for everyone in the family. Sorry you are going through this

OP, at some point if he is no longer driving you are most likely financially still ahead if you uber him to work and uber him home.

16:44 poster here again

If you need two incomes to get by consider downsizing your lifestyle now.

You really need to plan on how to get by on one income.

Is he still driving? At some point you can sell one car.
Downsize your house.

Keep him working as long as possible.

When Mom was diagnosed he hired help. We started at 4 hours a day 5 days a week. They drove Mom to appointments etc. He hired a waitress he knew.

Lean on friends to stay in the house if you need to go to appointments for you or need some time for you.

Hi OP,

Sorry you are going through this.

1. Keep him working as long as possible. His paycheck will be significantly bigger than monies on SSDI. Work will keep the brain active. I would not say anything to his workplace. Bruce Willis kept working for years even after he was diagnosed with cognitive decline to support his family.

2. Early 40's is very young for this. He needs good docs due to his age.

3. Consider moving closer to his parents or your parents or other family for supports.

4. Figure out how you can get by on one income (yours)

5. Make sure all of his POA's are in order.

6. Is he on any meds? Have docs/pharmacists take a look at all of his meds. Many cause memory issues.
PPI's are a big one. You are only supposed to be on these for 8 weeks. Long term use is linked to causing memory issues. Talk to his docs about getting him off meds linked to cognitive decline.

7. Does he drink alcohol? Get him off of alcohol. It is linked to memory issues.

8. Get this book from the library
https://www.amazon.com/End-Alzheimers-Program-Prevent-Cognitive/dp/0735216207

9. You might consider getting an appointment with a functional medicine doc/MD in addition to his regular docs.

10. Make sure he is drinking a lot of water. Our brains need water.

11. Ditch sodas and other sugary products.

12. Eating unprocessed foods and no sugar got Mom around a 30% improvement in brain power.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, he should be eligible for SSDI when he can't work, and the children will get a benefit based on that too.

Not sure how to get somebody young on Medicare or Medicaid. Both pay for in home nurse aid.

OP: you need to plan for long term care/management once you have some short term relief. His doctor should be able to recommend somebody.

40s is so young. I am very sorry.
Has there been a definite rule out of Lewy Body Dementia? A diagnosis will help you know timelines.