I love tapas (or other small sharing plates) for dinner. I actually prefer having a couple of bites of many dishes, rather than full plate of one. Also, never has it bothered me that I got 2 prawns and somebody else got 3.

However, I've yet to have great tapas in DC. It's only 'quite good' at best.
And of course, I can't think of a tapas dish that I would order for $29. Just no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate having to share dishes with people. I am, despite my best efforts, a picky eater. So if we are sharing plates, and I only like two things on the table, I might not get any of them while other people like six things on the table.

Can’t you just order another couple dishes?

Not when everything has already been ordered and delivered to the table, and not when I'm not the one paying. I would happily pay my own way to ensure I could get food I want, but it would create awkwardness. The last time I went out with extended family was January and I managed to order last and only one person said "Oh that sounds great!" and my heart sank. Then the waiter put the dish right next to me which was great, but the person paying specifically said to me "why don't you take some and pass the plate around?" so I'd look like a huge jerk if I didn't do that.

I think you identified the issue - some people walk away hungry because they feel awkward asking for more food - whether it’s because they need to eat more in general or because they do not like most of the options. It is worse when one person is “treating” and sort of dictates the food. So the option is come across as rude or go hungry.

No, it’s because the portion sizes are odd and stupidly sized for consuming for a dinner. Tapas were never intended to be the crescendo of a meal.

Let’s say you go to a tapas place where they have fried rice balls only on the menu. You go as a family of 4. Each tapas dish is gonna come with 3 balls (they’re always stupidly portioned). So how many do you order? 4 dishes so each person get 3 each? You do that and inevitably 2 out of the 4 will still be hungry. You order another one. Now 3 more balls come out and the rest who are still hungry can only eat one more. Now you have one ball left over. Or the inevitable will happen where the two that are still hungry need 2 more balls each to feel full, meaning you gotta order two more plates of the rice balls. Now you have 2 more balls left over.


And that scenario plays out with a group. Imagine when everyone is unrelated and want their own bills. Utter nightmare. Tapas just suck. Their bar food an *individual* is supposed to eat with booze. That’s it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate having to share dishes with people. I am, despite my best efforts, a picky eater. So if we are sharing plates, and I only like two things on the table, I might not get any of them while other people like six things on the table.

Can’t you just order another couple dishes?

Not when everything has already been ordered and delivered to the table, and not when I'm not the one paying. I would happily pay my own way to ensure I could get food I want, but it would create awkwardness. The last time I went out with extended family was January and I managed to order last and only one person said "Oh that sounds great!" and my heart sank. Then the waiter put the dish right next to me which was great, but the person paying specifically said to me "why don't you take some and pass the plate around?" so I'd look like a huge jerk if I didn't do that.

I think you identified the issue - some people walk away hungry because they feel awkward asking for more food - whether it’s because they need to eat more in general or because they do not like most of the options. It is worse when one person is “treating” and sort of dictates the food. So the option is come across as rude or go hungry.

I enjoy tapas with my husband, but more people than that and it gets too unwieldy. It's never enough food, it costs an arm and a leg, and from a food presentation standpoint it's just not appetizing to have a bunch of people cutting a shrimp in half or the meatball into fourths.

I love tapas! The first couple bites of anything are always the best. With responsive wait staff you can get more of the really good dishes. The prices can be tough, though, I agree.

I agree. The bigger the group, the worst it gets.

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I can handle tapas with just my spouse, but when you start adding people it's annoying to figure out how much I should be taking from a given dish and how to split the bill in the end. I just want to eat my food.

This, 100% this! I hate hate hate having tapas with a group. You end up splitting a meatball four ways and it's never satisfying or enough food.

Even with 2 people, I sometimes think tapas are just a way to make more money. You end up getting several which, all together, tend to cost a lot more than 2 entrees.

Anonymous wrote:One of my irritations with this style of dining in restaurants - often they bring you an odd number of something - 3 dumplings, 5 crostini. Sure, people go out to eat in groups of varying sizes - but most often it's even numbers - 2 couples, that kind of thing. Then you're left trying to divide up one item that was small to begin with, or decide who of a group gets multiples of something.

Yes! Why 5?? Who can share 5?

25 years ago I was a rube and had never heard of tapas so when a potential employer invited me to go to a tapas place with some other people I heard "topless place" and politely said no thank you and never contacted them again. Joke's on me!

Can I just add that the notion of "small plates for sharing" is ridiculous? Big portion, like a regular appetizer, is shareable. One meatball in sauce is not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate having to share dishes with people. I am, despite my best efforts, a picky eater. So if we are sharing plates, and I only like two things on the table, I might not get any of them while other people like six things on the table.

Can’t you just order another couple dishes?

Not when everything has already been ordered and delivered to the table, and not when I'm not the one paying. I would happily pay my own way to ensure I could get food I want, but it would create awkwardness. The last time I went out with extended family was January and I managed to order last and only one person said "Oh that sounds great!" and my heart sank. Then the waiter put the dish right next to me which was great, but the person paying specifically said to me "why don't you take some and pass the plate around?" so I'd look like a huge jerk if I didn't do that.

I can see where that would be an issue. You either refuse to do so and have to explain/call attention to yourself or don't explain and look like a jerk while still calling attention to yourself. And if it's someone else's special occasion they have the right to choose the restaurant and you have to go along without suggesting you'd prefer a place with non-sharing dishes.

Yep. It's at the point now where I just plan a small meal at home for after eating out in case I can't eat enough at the restaurant.

Anonymous wrote:Well, in America at least. Tapas were never meant to be served for dinner. They are supposed to be bar food you get for free while boozing, i.e., small plates you eat while drinking. Tapas are illogical to eat for dinner. If you’re with your family, a single tapas dish will only be enough for about 1.5 persons, which means you need to order repeats of anything multiple people want. That can often lead to order too much of a certain tapas dish or not enough.

I also am always hungry after leaving a tapas place. The prices for tapas are also exorbitant when you factor in how many you need to feel full, which is probably 3-4 of them that are priced $12-18 each.


Tapas places are the worst, because the US does them completely backwards. It’s just snack and finger foods that are turned somehow into a full dinner for full entree prices. It’s so ridiculous.

+1. We went once and never returned. The price was high and we never felt satiated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate having to share dishes with people. I am, despite my best efforts, a picky eater. So if we are sharing plates, and I only like two things on the table, I might not get any of them while other people like six things on the table.

Can’t you just order another couple dishes?

Not when everything has already been ordered and delivered to the table, and not when I'm not the one paying. I would happily pay my own way to ensure I could get food I want, but it would create awkwardness. The last time I went out with extended family was January and I managed to order last and only one person said "Oh that sounds great!" and my heart sank. Then the waiter put the dish right next to me which was great, but the person paying specifically said to me "why don't you take some and pass the plate around?" so I'd look like a huge jerk if I didn't do that.

I can see where that would be an issue. You either refuse to do so and have to explain/call attention to yourself or don't explain and look like a jerk while still calling attention to yourself. And if it's someone else's special occasion they have the right to choose the restaurant and you have to go along without suggesting you'd prefer a place with non-sharing dishes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate having to share dishes with people. I am, despite my best efforts, a picky eater. So if we are sharing plates, and I only like two things on the table, I might not get any of them while other people like six things on the table.

Can’t you just order another couple dishes?

Not when everything has already been ordered and delivered to the table, and not when I'm not the one paying. I would happily pay my own way to ensure I could get food I want, but it would create awkwardness. The last time I went out with extended family was January and I managed to order last and only one person said "Oh that sounds great!" and my heart sank. Then the waiter put the dish right next to me which was great, but the person paying specifically said to me "why don't you take some and pass the plate around?" so I'd look like a huge jerk if I didn't do that.

Anonymous wrote:Well, in America at least. Tapas were never meant to be served for dinner. They are supposed to be bar food you get for free while boozing, i.e., small plates you eat while drinking. Tapas are illogical to eat for dinner. If you’re with your family, a single tapas dish will only be enough for about 1.5 persons, which means you need to order repeats of anything multiple people want. That can often lead to order too much of a certain tapas dish or not enough.

I also am always hungry after leaving a tapas place. The prices for tapas are also exorbitant when you factor in how many you need to feel full, which is probably 3-4 of them that are priced $12-18 each.


Tapas places are the worst, because the US does them completely backwards. It’s just snack and finger foods that are turned somehow into a full dinner for full entree prices. It’s so ridiculous.

So don’t eat them?