Anonymous wrote:OP here. He’s been here less than a year.
He’s sort of ok right now (though tough to live with because he is still capable of doing some things but refuses.)
My husband really should not have brought him here but had good intentions.His dad had good care at home. He has no friends here and just us as family. I have kids to shuttle to activities and I’d like to visit friends and family but I can’t now. He leaves faucets running and doesn’t lock doors. He can’t hear but doesn’t want hearing aides so communicating is difficult.
We have a family vacation coming up but his dad can’t go so I’m staying home now which is pretty frustrating.
I’m just looking down the road a year or two when I probably fall apart and and need options. Because he has no assets and won’t have the 5 year residency, I am just feeling overwhelmed. Paying $6,000-$10,000 a month for care is not something we can swing long term.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP. It sounds incredibly hard. You said he had good care at home—-since honestly this situation sounds untenable, could you have him return to his home country? I have to imagine your FIL would be happier there, too. My father was just in long term care and it’s incredibly expensive as you know (luckily my father was able to pay for it). I don’t think you draining your life savings, when there is another viable option (him being in home country) is right, and I imagine would put enormous stain on your marriage and nuclear family.