I was considered to be in my 30s and 40s until 5 years after menopause. I'm 66 and now look maybe mid to late 50s, but I'm aging every day now. That is life.

Anonymous wrote:Google Angela Bassett, then look up her age. You will be shocked.

She is 65- that isn't shocking actually

I looked younger and people were often surprised that I had older kids, etc., until I was mid-50s. Menopause aged me. I think I look okay for my age in my 60s, but I don't look younger than my age anymore.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and am regularly mistaken for early 30's partly I wear sunscreen, stay out of the sun, and carry extra weight, so I don't have withered look. But also...I come off as young in a quasi-Asperger's way, and that's...not good. I would rather be seen as 45 and competent.

Same. Also in my 40’s, also often assumed to be substantially younger, and I don’t think it is a compliment.

Last Friday a Grandma asked if my teen daughter and I were sisters. Since my teen looks like she’s 12, at most (not developed in any way), I suppose she thought I was a young adult.

My young adult son, a summer camp instructor, was briefly mistaken for one of his middle school students two weeks ago. By a fellow camp instructor!

We’re particularly young-looking east Asians.
It can get professionally damaging, actually, when people assume we cannot handle responsibility.
The silver lining is that the ageism is at the start of our careers, less so at the tail end.

I look about 15 years younger than I am.

My mother is 72 and can easily pass for 60 or even younger. While she looks younger it’s her persona that really makes a difference. She is very outgoing and physically active so she is pretty fit. She likes to say that my father “keeps her young” but I will leave it at that.

Anonymous wrote:In my experience until 40 or so lots and lots and lots of people pass for younger. I know I always did. I think it may be partly a matter of looking good but also a misunderstanding among younger folks of what 36 or so looks like. As you get into your 40s and beyond some people still look better but you still tend to look your age … just good for your age . Always exceptions of course

I think after 40 most people stop looking younger than 40, but there is a split at this age too of people who will look their age and people whose actual age will shock you.

Anonymous wrote:People thought friends of the bride and groom were the bride and groom’s age? Not surprising. Sometimes people forget context. If you are on the same wavelength with someone, please often register that as “same age as me.” Like book club lady is on your wavelength, so you were surprised to learn she’s that much older.

+1 that's it. also honestly there isn't such a big difference between 30 and 36.

I think a big thing is that people look younger now than they did at comparable ages 20/30 years ago. Like you look at pictures of Jason Alexander on Seinfeld in the 90s. He was 36 when that show was filmed! But looked way older IMO. And Jason Alexander TODAY is 64 but looks more like he's 50. Julia Louis Dreyfus is basically the same age. Again, she looks like a smoking hot bombshell in VEEP and like a dowdy 40s in Seinfeld.

I'm not sure totally what's caused this phenomenon but if I had to guess it would be

1) Proliferation of photos means we see how we look a LOT more

2) The photos all being on the internet where everyone can see and comment has made us all a little more aware and self conscious

3) Skincare/beauty routines are more normalized for men and women and are more affordable and accessible

4) Sunscreen/anti tanning phenomenon

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, people are so ridiculous thinking they look young. You look your age but it is often context (eg, someone has kids the same age as yours so think you are the same age), flattery or just no idea. I had a 29 year old colleague ask how old I thought she was. I had no idea so said 25 thinking it was definitely young enough to be safe. She told me “everyone tells me I look a lot younger”. It made me so sad - 29 is young too

I mean people who go around asking other people to guess their age are definitely looking to be flattered and your colleague sounds like she's obsessed with people thinking she looks young for her age. But there are of course some people who actually do look younger than they are even into their 40s or 50s or 60s. Some people are deluded and some people really look young. Just like some people are think they are more attractive than they are but also there are people who are genuinely just very attractive.

It's not like there is some rule that no one could possible look younger than their age. This is just demonstrably untrue.

Do you remember the post on here about the OP who was so sad and angry because her work friend thought they were the same age? But work friend was a couple years older? That’s why people guess young and flatter you. Safer to assume you cannot handle the truth.

Seriously, people are so ridiculous thinking they look young. You look your age but it is often context (eg, someone has kids the same age as yours so think you are the same age), flattery or just no idea. I had a 29 year old colleague ask how old I thought she was. I had no idea so said 25 thinking it was definitely young enough to be safe. She told me “everyone tells me I look a lot younger”. It made me so sad - 29 is young too

Yeah I am mid-40s with a kid and people always assume I'm 5-10 years younger than I am. It is partly because of my kid's age (I had her when I was late 30s) but there are also lots of older moms around her so it's not just that -- I have had moms at my kid's school who are my exact age assume I am 10 years younger than they are.

I'm not bragging and I don't think it even matters. I've always looked young for my age even when it was not advantageous at all (ie looking 15 when you are 25 is not useful in your first job at all). There are still situation where I would prefer to look my age or older because I still get dismissed as young at work or socially because people assume I am a lot younger than I am. I have also realized that there are situation where if I ACT my age it will rub people the wrong way because they will think I am acting more experienced than I actually am. But I'm not -- I'm a middle aged woman with a lot of work and life experience but I just happen to look a lot younger than that.

Whe we go to the nail salon together, the nail techs frequently ask if I'm my DD's sister.

.... I think they are just being nice