BBC

Op here, they will all be 21…

Are the 2-3 friends over 21, or are any of them still under? Makes a difference if they can include a bar stop or not.

Just venmo your kids best friend 500 bucks and let her get at it

Anonymous wrote:I think it is so sweet! I think the mother and daughter have a close relationship and her daughter asked her to do it. Just because your kid turns 21, she is still your kid and finally through the rough teen years. It is a big milestone for a parent and the 21 year old!

Agree. And posters keep saying ‘party’ when it’s just something for her and a couple of friends.

I just don’t see the strangeness in that.

My DS was in another state when he turned 21. For his birthday, we paid for him and a couple of his friends to go to a big sporting event he really wanted to go to.

Not sure how this scenario is different (except he knew what he wanted as opposed to a surprise) and he and his friends certainly didn’t think it was weird, they had a great time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you know how to drive a boat?

I’ve done those boats. They are easy, they give a 5 min lesson and all you need is a driver’s license.

Really fun! We did one for Mother’s Day.

While that sounds like fun, I don’t know if giving someone anything to drive on a night that features drinking makes sense. Driving while intoxicated is dangerous, even if you’re driving a boat. Maybe instead, they could hire a car and driver for the night.

My parents sent me a hundred bucks. It was exactly what i wanted.

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Most of her friends no longer live in the area, they are scattered around for internships and such over the summer and are all over during the school year. She is also not a big party person, which is why she only wants to do something with 2-3 of her close friends.

She has always liked surprises, I don’t think it’s weird for her to ask to plan something as part of her gift for her and a couple of friends. The friends aren’t going to want to spring for the things I will, so the “cut the apron strings” comments are off — she makes money with her internship and is away most of the time at school and is very responsible and takes care of things.

Back to my original question: any other ideas?! And yes, I want to leave her and her friends alone, we will have a separate family thing the night before but let the 21 year old celebrate with her buddies on her actual BD!!!

The more you explain it, the weirder it sounds. She’s asking you to plan a surprise for her?

um when my kids turned 21 they made their own plans and went out with their friends.

I think it is so sweet! I think the mother and daughter have a close relationship and her daughter asked her to do it. Just because your kid turns 21, she is still your kid and finally through the rough teen years. It is a big milestone for a parent and the 21 year old!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No parent should plan a 21st birthday party.
Cut the apron strings

This^.

I agree with this. By 21 your friends should be planning your party. MAYYYYBE they invite the parents to a small portion of it. Or not, and you just take her out with immediately family to a restaurant for dinner.

Agree. I have never heard of a parent planning a 21st birthday party.

For DD’s late teen bday, when the pandemic was winding down, we hired Captain Denny at Embark DC. One of his military-trained captains took DD and 4 friends on a scenic boat ride from Georgetown to the Wharf, where we had a nice dinner. Limo in and out. A memorable time.

Anonymous wrote:Do you know how to drive a boat?

I’ve done those boats. They are easy, they give a 5 min lesson and all you need is a driver’s license.

Really fun! We did one for Mother’s Day.

NP—it doesn’t sound like a party. It sounds like something for a couple of her friends and an experience that the mom said she would pay for, when her DD asked for a surprise as part of the gift.

How is that weird? I agree with it being weird if it is an actual party but this sounds more like an experience gift she will use on her birthday.

Since it’s only for like 2-3 girls, what about a hotel with a spa and you offer to get them all massages?

I am getting the sense that maybe the other girls don’t have as much money and that’s why she wants you to plan it as part of her gift. Maybe she feels bad asking you to pay for her friends, too.

Growing up I had a friend or two much less wealthy, they could never do the same things I did with some of my other friends. I remember in HS asking if I could have one of these friends go on a ski trip with us for the December holidays and my gift was paying for them to come along plus I was both got mani/pedis at the spa.

Do you know how to drive a boat?