Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents that see 4 and 6yo about 20-25 days a year allow upwards of 5+ hours of tv when left to their own devices . They are able bodied and ask for the kids - just stick them on screens all the time. Would you say something? Just let it happen? Limit alone visits?

You're getting free childcare. Unless you are paying them you don't get to dictate how they spend the time so stop complaining.

I came here to say the same thing. Nothing is free in this world.
I love my mother, but I do not love her parenting skills.

They’re not watching the kids as a favor to me, they want the kids alone

Then stay with your kids while they’re visiting the grandparents. Or make visits shorter or less frequent. What you see with grandparents are what you get: they’re too old to expect anything more.

my ILs beg for the kids, and then just leave the tv on and/or ipads/devices everywhere. It sounds like you are like me---I don't depend on them for childcare--we hire childcare. however, the ILs do ask for the kids.

My approach is limit the amount of time so it's not 6+ hours of youtube unsupervised just so my MIL can brag to her whatsapp group that she gets to have grandkids over

Anonymous wrote:All these people that say let it go are crazy. If you don’t set and enforce boundaries with grandparents, they will think they are entitled to do as they please. You can be kind but you should not hesitate to set a limit. No more than 2 hours (or whatever you are comfortable with).

Many grandparents just don’t have the stamina for the activities most parents expect from caregivers. Bring over toys and games and tell the kids that they will be playing with them at their house. There’s only so much that can be done if the kids don’t have sufficient toys and games with them.

All these people that say let it go are crazy. If you don’t set and enforce boundaries with grandparents, they will think they are entitled to do as they please. You can be kind but you should not hesitate to set a limit. No more than 2 hours (or whatever you are comfortable with).

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t let it go. No one needs free babysitting at the expense of your kids well being. My kids act so poorly with too much screen time.

That’s a you problem

I wouldn’t let it go. No one needs free babysitting at the expense of your kids well being. My kids act so poorly with too much screen time.

Just don’t bring them to the grandparents if you can’t take this

Sure, PPs

OP can let it go and watch the grandkids not want to go over anymore as they get older.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents that see 4 and 6yo about 20-25 days a year allow upwards of 5+ hours of tv when left to their own devices . They are able bodied and ask for the kids - just stick them on screens all the time. Would you say something? Just let it happen? Limit alone visits?

Yes, I would let it go. Your kids will live.

+100%

Let it go let it go

Were they like this when you were a kid? Lots of TV? Pretty much everyone I grew up with had TV on a lot. We didn't always watch it because there wasn't much to watch. I'd let it go unless they are watching something not appropriate for kids.

Anonymous wrote:Just let it go.

Why? Maybe Grandpa and Grandma could use some help actually interacting with their grandkid.

Just let it go.

My mom did this. The TV was always on at the house, and when we would get in a car or sit down at a restaurant, she would hand DS her phone.

It drove me batty at the time because too much screen time does give my kid behavioral issues. I way over-corrected at home for a long time, including during COVID when I was trying to WFH, oversee remote learning, and keep him entertained with “virtuous” activities that didn’t involve screens. I almost had a mental breakdown. Twice, actually.

But he’s 12 now, and he’s doing great from a mental health, behavioral, and academic standpoint. He has a phone, but he rarely uses it. Sometimes he’ll watch TV, but mostly he reads or plays with Legos, or goes outside to fly his drone. So try not to let this drive you crazy, OP. Odds are your kids will be just fine in the long run.

I had relatives like this who watched me.

I was bored out of my brain with every passing visit.

I would limit time. Sometimes older people like the idea of kids but don't know what to do with them.