Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 13:05     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That sounds really hard. Have you tried any of the following?

- making it into a game (who can get dressed first?)
- dressing him in his tomorrow clothes.the night before?
- Just let him wear his pajamas all day?
- Singing songs for each item? Just make up a tune about taking off pajamas?
- Have him watch a short video while you dress him (I know, screens are evil, could backfire, but worth trying if it can avoid an hour long standoff)


Wow!! This is how you create entitled snowflakes. Dance around your kids catering to all their childhood whims. My parents never did this and I refuse to. Sometimes in life sh!+ just has to get done and it's not comfortable or convenient for me - everyone needs to learn that lesson.


+1 I’d get him out the door wearing whatever he wants, including pjs. As noted by pp peer pressure will eventually get him.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 13:01     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
What does he love to do? My 3 year old loves truck videos. After an appropriate amount of asking/telling, I inform him that he may not get truck videos that day, the next day, or whatever the circumstances are. That usually snaps him back to reality.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 13:00     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
I like some of these ideas a lot, thank you so much. Will try the story and store ideas in particular. Really appreciate it.

For the snarky responses, I am not a SAHM of one child. He is my second, and I am expecting my third, and I work full time. People really need to examine their anger and why they project so much bitterness on others.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:56     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
I don't know if this will help, but it worked for me when I needed my son to get dressed and we were struggling.

I created a one page getting dressed "story" - it was really just the order for how to get dressed.

Step 1 - choose/put on underwear (or pull ups)
Step 2 - choose/put on a shirt
Step 3 - choose/put on shorts/pants
Step 4 - choose/put on socks

I had his clothes in baskets on a book shelf in his room so that he could pick what he wanted very easily. (I conveniently removed anything that was not seasonally appropriate - so he could only choose acceptable options).

And then I left him to it. We started this when he was about 3, and it was a game changer.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:35     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That sounds really hard. Have you tried any of the following?

- making it into a game (who can get dressed first?)
- dressing him in his tomorrow clothes.the night before?
- Just let him wear his pajamas all day?
- Singing songs for each item? Just make up a tune about taking off pajamas?
- Have him watch a short video while you dress him (I know, screens are evil, could backfire, but worth trying if it can avoid an hour long standoff)


Wow!! This is how you create entitled snowflakes. Dance around your kids catering to all their childhood whims. My parents never did this and I refuse to. Sometimes in life sh!+ just has to get done and it's not comfortable or convenient for me - everyone needs to learn that lesson.


Yeah I don't think forcefully dressing a 3 yo while he cries and screams every day is going to teach him much except that mornings really suck.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:29     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That sounds really hard. Have you tried any of the following?

- making it into a game (who can get dressed first?)
- dressing him in his tomorrow clothes.the night before?
- Just let him wear his pajamas all day?
- Singing songs for each item? Just make up a tune about taking off pajamas?
- Have him watch a short video while you dress him (I know, screens are evil, could backfire, but worth trying if it can avoid an hour long standoff)


Wow!! This is how you create entitled snowflakes. Dance around your kids catering to all their childhood whims. My parents never did this and I refuse to. Sometimes in life sh!+ just has to get done and it's not comfortable or convenient for me - everyone needs to learn that lesson.


And sometimes people have jobs and need to get out the door. Not everyone is a SAHMommy and not everyone has all the time in the world.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:26     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you tried dressing him in his clothes the night before?


We did this with my older kid from age 3 to 7(ish). She slept in her next day clothes. It was zero issue as part of the bedtime routine, but it was an epic battle in the mornings.

My second kid, now 5, spends most of his time indoors at home in his underwear. Fine. He know he has to put clothes on to go outside.

I pack up clothes that are not seasonally appropriate and put them on the top shelf in the closet to avoid the constant conversations about wearing the preferred winter clothing when it’s 100 degrees outside. Still today he asked if he could wear pants, but since they’re not available he wore shorts without complaining.


Coming back to add that for my older kid, whose behavior was very similar to your description of your child, we eventually figured out that she really has a hard time with change. As she got older we learned that even something like a sub at school for a few days could result it making it hard to get ready to leave the house. She missed some fun weekend activities because she refused to get ready to go do them (and I refused to fight to do them).

When she was little, things like getting dressed the night before helped, and we did things like move her toothbrush to the powder room downstairs so she didn’t have to go back upstairs to finish getting ready. That was also a big improvement.

But once we figured out that there was more than just exerting her independence going on, that this was the way she was expressing that she was pretty distressed in other areas, it was also sometimes helpful to try to address that. Things like “Something really doesn’t feel good to you right now.” Or “I think maybe you’re feeling really yucky inside” could help her regulate and cooperate. Or if I knew of things that she may perceive as a change, even if was very minor to me, I’d comment on that. “I know it’s been so hot lately and we haven’t been able to play outside in the afternoon like we usually do. It can feel bad when things are different like that” or whatever.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:23     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
I went through this. I would put him in pajamas that doubled as day clothes and put the pajamas on him after bath time. He hated transitions.note - I only put him in clothes he could not get off by himself, with fasteners in the back (romper) otherwise he would undress
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:23     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
Is he associating getting dressed with something he doesn’t want to do?
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:15     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
I personally would do the tough work of forcing it and picking this battle to win. It sucks, but my kids get dressed every morning and are forced to wear slacks and polo shirts to church each week. I mean this kindly, but when you have multiple kids you toughen up as a parent and learn how you don’t have to cater to their whims. Even if you think you are holding the line right now, I bet you’ll look back and realize you were wishy washy and he is taking advantage of that to act out.

Practically, in the mean time, my toddlers loved when I played “fancy foreign store keeper” and sold them the clothes they had to wear. Under the guise of “try on this shirt.” Play up the funny accent. “Hello sir, you are a special customer. This one is new from Milan! Special shirt for a special client.”
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:12     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
Anonymous wrote:Did he do this before you dropped the nap?


Not at all.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:11     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
Did he do this before you dropped the nap?
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:09     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
Anonymous wrote:Have you tried dressing him in his clothes the night before?


We did this with my older kid from age 3 to 7(ish). She slept in her next day clothes. It was zero issue as part of the bedtime routine, but it was an epic battle in the mornings.

My second kid, now 5, spends most of his time indoors at home in his underwear. Fine. He know he has to put clothes on to go outside.

I pack up clothes that are not seasonally appropriate and put them on the top shelf in the closet to avoid the constant conversations about wearing the preferred winter clothing when it’s 100 degrees outside. Still today he asked if he could wear pants, but since they’re not available he wore shorts without complaining.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:06     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Please help if you've been through this...

My 3 year old son is impossible to get dressed and out the door in the morning or ever. We give him choices of two things to wear, he won't choose. We tell him he can choose anything in his drawer, he won't. We get angry and try to forcefully dress him, he freaks out, cries hysterically then peels the clothes off while crying anyway. We try to be sweet and calm, he just refuses to do anything and has a stand off with us. We have left the house with him in his underwear before, buckling him in sobbing crying, only to arrive at our destination and he still refuses to get dressed and we have to go back home.

Most days he will FINALLY give in, but this can (and does) last an hour or more sometimes, and leaves everyone pissed off and emotionally drained.

Even when he does get dressed, he likes to take his clothes off the minute he's back home, and wants to change a million times a day. Wants to wear weather-inappropriate things like thick sweaters in the summer heat, or thick warm Christmas pajamas in the heat, or casual play clothes to church.

I am assuming it's a control thing, but I just don't know what to do or how to break it. I CANNOT deal with this every morning once school starts.....

FWIW he is a joy and is a sweet child the rest of the time, pretty much. He just dropped his nap, we're expecting another child, so IDK if it's just a phase of lots of transition? HELPPPPP


Would he wear pjs to school? Can you afford a nanny? 3 year olds don't really have to go to school.


3 year olds benefit from the social aspects of school. Send him in jammies.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 12:05     Subject: Three year old literally WILL NOT get dressed in the morning (or ever)
Anonymous wrote:Lots of good suggestions here. Try to change your mindset away from catering to this as well.

Having a set schedule helps and maybe a visual schedule like preschools have. Wake up and change first (along with potty) and then come the parts of the morning he might enjoy more (playtime, breakfast, etc.) You can do a visual timer to show that the more time wasted on changing means less time for X.


PP and just wanted to add that that "two choices" thing NEVER worked for us. My kids would say No or just ignore the choices. It's my least favorite parenting advice. For basic things, less decisionmaking is better when they are really young.