Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a 47 year old woman and I have learned the hard way that if I don’t have a phone call w someone I met on OLD before I meet them in person for our first date, chances are very good we won’t have a second date. Talking on the phone is a great way to determine whether you are sure you want to take time out of your schedule to meet someone. There is a reason the ones who won’t get on the phone with you are doing so.

If you want to talk on the phone, tell him you want to talk on the phone. Tell him you prefer to get to know someone that way. If he won’t get on one phone call with you before a date, he doesnt respect your wishes enough to deserve a date with you.

This poster is 100% correct. Do video or phone calls - those who don’t want it are not that into you based on your profile; have other relationships dating multiple women or lack social skills

Oh, or they are 10 years older or 50 pounds bigger than their photos

Anonymous wrote:Im a 47 year old woman and I have learned the hard way that if I don’t have a phone call w someone I met on OLD before I meet them in person for our first date, chances are very good we won’t have a second date. Talking on the phone is a great way to determine whether you are sure you want to take time out of your schedule to meet someone. There is a reason the ones who won’t get on the phone with you are doing so.

If you want to talk on the phone, tell him you want to talk on the phone. Tell him you prefer to get to know someone that way. If he won’t get on one phone call with you before a date, he doesnt respect your wishes enough to deserve a date with you.

This poster is 100% correct. Do video or phone calls - those who don’t want it are not that into you based on your profile; have other relationships dating multiple women or lack social skills

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These men are in their 30s but all they do is text me and never call and it's not sext but regular texts. Maybe only 2 out of 10 I gave my number to called. I called one and it went straight to voicemail. He said he's not much of a phone person and usually only talks to family. He wants to meet soon and to fly out here. He's in another state. Is not talking before meeting becoming the norm?

I think you've buried the lede here. Only texting someone in the same city or area before meeting for a low stakes coffee or drink is one thing. Only texting when the person lives out of state and is flying in to meet you is bonkers IMO. I also think it's sus, as the kids say. Don't be surprised if something suddenly comes up that makes his travel impossible and then he asks for money soon after for something unrelated. Sounds like a scam.

+1 to this being a scam. I mean flying out to meet someone??? How incredible are you that there is no one like you within driving distance of him? Alternatively, how much of a weirdo is he that he can't match with anyone closer to him? I just don't get the logistics of this for anything other than a pig butchering scam.

Anonymous wrote:These men are in their 30s but all they do is text me and never call and it's not sext but regular texts. Maybe only 2 out of 10 I gave my number to called. I called one and it went straight to voicemail. He said he's not much of a phone person and usually only talks to family. He wants to meet soon and to fly out here. He's in another state. Is not talking before meeting becoming the norm?

I think you've buried the lede here. Only texting someone in the same city or area before meeting for a low stakes coffee or drink is one thing. Only texting when the person lives out of state and is flying in to meet you is bonkers IMO. I also think it's sus, as the kids say. Don't be surprised if something suddenly comes up that makes his travel impossible and then he asks for money soon after for something unrelated. Sounds like a scam.

Im a 47 year old woman and I have learned the hard way that if I don’t have a phone call w someone I met on OLD before I meet them in person for our first date, chances are very good we won’t have a second date. Talking on the phone is a great way to determine whether you are sure you want to take time out of your schedule to meet someone. There is a reason the ones who won’t get on the phone with you are doing so.

If you want to talk on the phone, tell him you want to talk on the phone. Tell him you prefer to get to know someone that way. If he won’t get on one phone call with you before a date, he doesnt respect your wishes enough to deserve a date with you.

Anonymous wrote:You maybe an outlier but vast majority of women I've matched on OLD prefer texting and hate calling or meeting irl. This is why I ask if they're interested meeting in person as soon as there is enough mutual interest.

I hate texting/calling and getting nowhere. I'm too damn busy and old.

Huh? They hate meeting irl? I thought that was the whole point of dating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 53 and the only people I know who prefer phone calls are 1) behind on technology or 2) people who want to monologue at you.

That said, a dating situation may be different. If you are local texting only before a meet up seems normal. But the guy who wants to fly out to meet you without speaking on the phone first (or even facetiming) is super sus. He is likely either married/in a relationship or catfishing you in some way.

Don’t you think people just want to talk to a real person ? Hearing my man’s voice is a huge turn on to me. In all serious relationships I had video calls with partners several times a week discussing out day etc . Texts just don’t transmit that level of emotion and it’s sad to see so many people not wanting social interaction

Yes after you get to know someone. It's a little different now before initial meet up.

But isn't talking to them part of getting to know them?

Hearing a man or woman's voice is sexy. As an older Millenial hearing a Barry white type voice is hot.

Anonymous wrote:I want to speak over the phone. One guy only texted and when I met him he sounded like Gilbert Gottlieb.

That's what I'm afraid of! Hearing an Elmer fudd or Gilbert godfried

I want to speak over the phone. One guy only texted and when I met him he sounded like Gilbert Gottlieb.

Texting is more spontaneous. You can do it from anywhere, whereas phone calls need to be scheduled in advance when you're both free. You can tell a lot by how people text. Are they funny, clever, interesting? Can they banter? Or are they boring or needy or demanding? But I'm partial to the written word so a clever texter would be something I value. And these days people are more nervous about a first phone call than even meeting in person, which would be in public and not as immediately intimate as a long phone conversation. I think people want to establish a rapport before calling. But I certainly would be suspicious of anybody traveling without a few phone calls first.

And also there's the generational thing. Under 35s are mostly pretty stunted in their social skills.

How would they text you without asking for your phone number? No one calls anymore. We text. They are asking for your texting number.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 53 and the only people I know who prefer phone calls are 1) behind on technology or 2) people who want to monologue at you.

That said, a dating situation may be different. If you are local texting only before a meet up seems normal. But the guy who wants to fly out to meet you without speaking on the phone first (or even facetiming) is super sus. He is likely either married/in a relationship or catfishing you in some way.

Don’t you think people just want to talk to a real person ? Hearing my man’s voice is a huge turn on to me. In all serious relationships I had video calls with partners several times a week discussing out day etc . Texts just don’t transmit that level of emotion and it’s sad to see so many people not wanting social interaction

Yes after you get to know someone. It's a little different now before initial meet up.

I am a bit older - 50 and I don't love texting but it is great for dating. People now rarely talk on the phone and prefer to text. Texting is more flexible and you don't need to be available at a certain time or potential call at a bad time. It takes a lot of pressure off compared to phone calls.

I am a great communicator in person but not a good texter but I do text if I need to.

It’s not 1999, that’s why