Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 17:06     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
I grew up in far out suburbia in the PNW. Solidly middle class (mix of working class and bachelor degrees, very few graduate degrees) and very white neighborhood. I much prefer the close in DMV culture and fit in better here. I’m a bit of a nerd and l like the DC highly educated idealist types in my neighborhood.

It’s a tough question to answer because even you won’t figure it out until you’ve lived somewhere for 1-2 years, and it varies neighborhood to neighborhood in DC. You will keep finding out things about a place, and even then things will change as your kids get older, you start a new job, you make friends and change friend group etc.

I agree with the previous poster about grass is always greener. You need to make a decision and go with it, make it work for you, nowhere is perfect in all aspects.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 16:50     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
Yes and I've felt this way since before we had kids. But my spouse is stuck in their job which is tied to the area. They are planning to take early retirement and we will move then but it's not for a few years yet.

I do try to make the most of what this area has to offer since I don't want to be miserable here.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 16:48     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I moved from DC to a small little town. There are of course benefits to all places. I miss the museums and never ending supply of activities and opportunities and events and diversity of thought.

I love that my kids can bike around town with their friends and that they know everyone and that they feel a great sense of place in their childhood.

But a childhood with all the opportunities they would have had in DC would also have been great. There is no reason to denigrate one place to decide you would prefer another.


What do you think that they're not getting where you live vs DC? Honestly, your kids childhood sounds great!


Any exposure to diversity of thought and culture. Access to all the incredible enrichment opportunities. I think they are having a great childhood! But I can also see the benefits of the childhood they would have had. I am not saying where I live now is awful, just that there is always trade offs when making these kind of decisions and there is a good childhood to be had anywhere if you know how to look at it.


+1 We lived in several major cities until settling outside a small city. We're fortunate that our income is actually very high for the COL (company pays more to attract people away from NYC, etc). But it's a tight knit community with few transplants and families have known each other for generations making it hard to break in. It can also feel a bit homogeneous where everyone vacations in the same places and eats in the same restaurants. That being said we have a large home and a nice lifestyle and my kids love their private school (which would be $15-20k more expensive in other places like DC).
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 16:38     Subject: Re:Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
Did you have to drive everywhere? That’s a deal breaker for me.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 16:30     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
There are a lot of great places to live out there! And one place doesn't have everything. You've just gotta figure out what's most important to you and make the tradeoffs accordingly.

My advice is this... if you are thinking of leaving, leave while your kids are young.

Ideally, before elementary school starts, if you're counting on making friends in the new area via yoru kids.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 16:25     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The problem is the average tenure of a job is 3-5 years. You need to be in a good job market to keep employed.


DP here. This has always been my husband's excuse to keep us in DC. I'm not sure I buy it though.


There is a lot of truth to this. I grew up in DC and my parents later retired to a much more slow-paced area. As much as I love visiting, I want to be in an area that offers job opportunities to my kids. I'm not planning to retire and live here forever but I always appreciated the fact that my parents lived in an area with ample job prospects until a few years after college.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 15:50     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
DC has been ideal for my kids. They all seem to plan to move back here after college.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 15:48     Subject: Re:Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
We left DC about 15 years ago for the north shore of Chicago. Our children graduated from great public schools, we are an easy walk to Lake Michigan, Midwest values really exist, Chicago is a great city (ex the high crime areas) and except for the longer winters it has been ideal for us. When my husbands DC based company wanted him to return to DC with a big promotion we both said we are not going back. He quickly got a great new job and life went on. If you grew up in DC maybe it’s home but it was never home for us. We did make some good friends we stay in touch with but we don’t miss DC. So many DC jobs feed off the government that infects the atmosphere in a not so positive way.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 15:36     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I moved from DC to a small little town. There are of course benefits to all places. I miss the museums and never ending supply of activities and opportunities and events and diversity of thought.

I love that my kids can bike around town with their friends and that they know everyone and that they feel a great sense of place in their childhood.

But a childhood with all the opportunities they would have had in DC would also have been great. There is no reason to denigrate one place to decide you would prefer another.


What do you think that they're not getting where you live vs DC? Honestly, your kids childhood sounds great!


Any exposure to diversity of thought and culture. Access to all the incredible enrichment opportunities. I think they are having a great childhood! But I can also see the benefits of the childhood they would have had. I am not saying where I live now is awful, just that there is always trade offs when making these kind of decisions and there is a good childhood to be had anywhere if you know how to look at it.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 15:31     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The problem is the average tenure of a job is 3-5 years. You need to be in a good job market to keep employed.


DP here. This has always been my husband's excuse to keep us in DC. I'm not sure I buy it though.


I think WFH is really going to change this.


Only in a WFH industry, which most of the US population is still not in despite popular perception by white collar WFH employees.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 14:58     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
Im sorry but the “educated” comment in this post kinda cracks me up! Yes, educated people exist outside of DC, NYC, etc! People in the DCUM have this sense of superiority (I’ll add I do live here)

That said, OP, I get what you are trying to say and we have had the same thoughts since we both grew up in PA. Just seems easier and more family oriented in some of these places… and of course the COL is better. But if your kids are happy is it worth uprooting them in hopes it’ll be better? I really don’t know what the answer is
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 14:58     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
There are plenty of areas you can get what you describe in the DMV, especially if you can work remotely most of the time. My friend group in the city now live in the suburbs - New Market (near Frederick), Ellicott City, Severna Park, Potomac and Olney. There are definitely tradeoffs, but housing costs are a lot less (we mostly live in houses 2-3x the size at the same price or less than our DC homes), our kids have more independence (walking and biking to friends, pool, etc.) and go to good schools (all our kids are in public schools). For the most part we all still have our DC jobs and salaries.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 14:35     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
True, costs are lower in many places, but my kids go to pool and ride their bikes with friends here too. The hiking trail is a block away. My kids go to a good private school, but there are plenty of religious options nearby.

I make more than twice as much here than I would in a rural area. Costs are about twice as high here too. It is all a bit of a wash at the end.

If you like it better there, good for you. But remember other parts of the DC area may also be better for you then.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 14:30     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
Anonymous wrote:We spent ten days outside of Akron, Ohio (fair lawn) in a very nice neighborhood where my sister and brother in law live. They have been in the area for about 4 years but this was the first time we spent real time there as they usually come here or else we meet somewhere. Let me just say it wasnt anything like the “ohio” or midwest you hear about on dcum. My nephews are split going to either a great public option and one goes to a jesuit highschool and both schools seem great. We went to a neighborhood pool a few times and the families seem normal/educated/ fun. Diversity wasnt as bad as I expected either, many black and Indian families in the development. There wasnt a “lack of things to do” either? We found beautiful metro parks with amazing hiking near by, we did things like top golf and trampoline parks. And what really got me thinking is my brother in law came for a 250k job that might pay a wee bit more in DC but not much and they got a really nice house for 560k and every dollar just seems to go much further. It really made me wonder if perhaps Ive glorified this area a bit too much. My nephews seem really happy and theres a airiness and relaxed undertone the entire household seems to have that I just yearn for. Anyone go somewhere else random and feel similar?


It's as always greener on the other side. Move. Nothing is stopping you.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2024 14:28     Subject: Anyone feel like DC just isnt ideal for kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The problem is the average tenure of a job is 3-5 years. You need to be in a good job market to keep employed.


DP here. This has always been my husband's excuse to keep us in DC. I'm not sure I buy it though.


I think WFH is really going to change this.