Anonymous
07/02/2024 21:03
Subject: Vent: I’m tired of caretaking.
Anonymous wrote:Well, we are75 and 77 and are still actively parenting our youngest daughter 41 who has a
cognitive disability. Talk about managing affairs for one with Medicare, Medicaid and a Medicaid Waiver along with SSDI!! She is very active as she works PT and volunteers weekly
at a senior center in the cafe. So we are driving her to these as well as recreational activities and weekly piano lessons.
It is hard in the sense that our options on future care for her are limited because she does not fit the profile of a CCRC even if in independent living. We have excellent LTC
Insurance, but still it will be hard to manage aging with her even with one of her two sister. willing to work on a plan of care in the future.
What I will say is that you have to set limits on what you can do in supporting a person.
Spend money on a sitter as we do with a college student for outings weekly. We can go out, but would mot leave her overnight. Do not feel bad if you say no to a care request if you need time to enjoy your spouse or children. At least with an older person there
can be options of care considered that we will not have so easily to access. Right now we
living a retirement life for three and keep praying and doing what we can for good health.
One tho g I would say is that folks who have the option should look ahead to where they want to live in terms of when they may need a lot of health care , may not be such good drivers etc.
That’s a lot. You two sound like you are doing such a good job and that you are helping her live as full a life as she can.
My friend (a single parent) is in a similar situation yet was able to find a residential program where the adult child can live. From her experience, I know it’s a lot of worry and work.
Anonymous
07/02/2024 20:59
Subject: Vent: I’m tired of caretaking.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I hear you. It’s so hard. You are doing the loving thing though.
This^. Its easy to be a do gooder for dogs and homeless but lot more tough to do it for your own parents.
Thank you so much. 🙏
OP
Anonymous
07/02/2024 20:14
Subject: Vent: I’m tired of caretaking.
Well, we are75 and 77 and are still actively parenting our youngest daughter 41 who has a
cognitive disability. Talk about managing affairs for one with Medicare, Medicaid and a Medicaid Waiver along with SSDI!! She is very active as she works PT and volunteers weekly
at a senior center in the cafe. So we are driving her to these as well as recreational activities and weekly piano lessons.
It is hard in the sense that our options on future care for her are limited because she does not fit the profile of a CCRC even if in independent living. We have excellent LTC
Insurance, but still it will be hard to manage aging with her even with one of her two sister. willing to work on a plan of care in the future.
What I will say is that you have to set limits on what you can do in supporting a person.
Spend money on a sitter as we do with a college student for outings weekly. We can go out, but would mot leave her overnight. Do not feel bad if you say no to a care request if you need time to enjoy your spouse or children. At least with an older person there
can be options of care considered that we will not have so easily to access. Right now we
living a retirement life for three and keep praying and doing what we can for good health.
One tho g I would say is that folks who have the option should look ahead to where they want to live in terms of when they may need a lot of health care , may not be such good drivers etc.
cognitive disability. Talk about managing affairs for one with Medicare, Medicaid and a Medicaid Waiver along with SSDI!! She is very active as she works PT and volunteers weekly
at a senior center in the cafe. So we are driving her to these as well as recreational activities and weekly piano lessons.
It is hard in the sense that our options on future care for her are limited because she does not fit the profile of a CCRC even if in independent living. We have excellent LTC
Insurance, but still it will be hard to manage aging with her even with one of her two sister. willing to work on a plan of care in the future.
What I will say is that you have to set limits on what you can do in supporting a person.
Spend money on a sitter as we do with a college student for outings weekly. We can go out, but would mot leave her overnight. Do not feel bad if you say no to a care request if you need time to enjoy your spouse or children. At least with an older person there
can be options of care considered that we will not have so easily to access. Right now we
living a retirement life for three and keep praying and doing what we can for good health.
One tho g I would say is that folks who have the option should look ahead to where they want to live in terms of when they may need a lot of health care , may not be such good drivers etc.
Anonymous
07/02/2024 15:45
Subject: Vent: I’m tired of caretaking.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have help and I’m grateful for that. I appreciate my parents saved money and can pay for their care.
There’s still so much to do with managing bills (not all can be on autopay), doctor’s appointments, taxes, finances, checking bank and credit cards, and so on.
Oh and taking a disabled person out or figuring out how to get them to family events, etc.
It’s a PT job.
I’m tired.
I know others have it worse so thanks for letting me vent.
Its tough so hats off to you. It could be worse if you had to pay for all that. Its not forever so you'll be released. One day you'll be old and hopefully your kids would rise to the occasion. Hang in there!
Why would it be worse to pay for all that?
Anonymous
07/02/2024 15:42
Subject: Re:Vent: I’m tired of caretaking.
We finally paid someone to do all of it.
Anonymous
07/02/2024 15:40
Subject: Vent: I’m tired of caretaking.
Anonymous wrote:I hear you. It’s so hard. You are doing the loving thing though.
This^. Its easy to be a do gooder for dogs and homeless but lot more tough to do it for your own parents.
Anonymous
07/02/2024 15:39
Subject: Vent: I’m tired of caretaking.
Anonymous wrote:We have help and I’m grateful for that. I appreciate my parents saved money and can pay for their care.
There’s still so much to do with managing bills (not all can be on autopay), doctor’s appointments, taxes, finances, checking bank and credit cards, and so on.
Oh and taking a disabled person out or figuring out how to get them to family events, etc.
It’s a PT job.
I’m tired.
I know others have it worse so thanks for letting me vent.
Its tough so hats off to you. It could be worse if you had to pay for all that. Its not forever so you'll be released. One day you'll be old and hopefully your kids would rise to the occasion. Hang in there!
Anonymous
07/02/2024 14:52
Subject: Vent: I’m tired of caretaking.
I hear you. It’s so hard. You are doing the loving thing though.
Anonymous
07/02/2024 14:49
Subject: Vent: I’m tired of caretaking.
Anonymous wrote:You can stop care taking any time. It is a choice, you know.
As in giving the LO to be taken care by the state? I am an only child, this would be our only option.
Anonymous
07/01/2024 16:57
Subject: Vent: I’m tired of caretaking.
You can stop care taking any time. It is a choice, you know.