Agree w all you said. Also, Women are tough at this period (~ yr 15 ish). It’s when we are not so exhausted and we take stock

Not sure about guys. My guy was just clueless.

The kids were the hardest when they were infants. The lack of sleep was tough. I think a lot of marriages fracture when the kids get to school age -- not because they are harder, but because they are easier. One or both spouses have time to notice the fractures that have developed or made worse during those early years. Lots of divorces when the youngest kid is 6 or 7.

My wife and I didn't really have that issue. Our marriage was probably toughest in the neighborhood of Year 15. But I don't think it was because of the kids. They were pretty easy at that point. I think it was being at the bottom of the "happiness trough" that seems to be the worst in your mid-40s.

Anonymous wrote:It was harder when they were under 5 or 6.
Easier now despite all their activities and needing rides.

Kids help out with chores and oldest is able to babysit for our date nights out.
Looking forward to the oldest getting driver license and alleviating us on that end.

I thought under 6 was the easiest time.

The early years are always the easiest because the wife is still hot and fresh. In the teens years, the wife is in her 40’s or 50’s, faded and worn out. It keeps going downhill from there. The husband finds a younger hot chick.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Midlife crisis time is the hardest. This is not the baby years. This is 15-18 years in usually. Someone that you never ever would expect cheats, has an affair, starts drinking more, has a personality change, etc etc. It will be something.

+1. DW has done a 360. I wonder if she is an alien disguised as a human. She doesn't even smile anymore. Her fave looks hollow. Just weird. And therapy just made everything worse. We are heading for divorce which is actually great because I don't want my kids in that environment 7 days a week.

+100

Almost all divorces in my neighborhood have been families with teens or right at empty nest. The early years are the easiest. Years of slights and resentments and hidden dysfunction emerge later on.