Anonymous wrote:People don't want ADHD so blaming them is of no use. Be a team and make it work or walk out if you can't handle it. Hating and resenting them isn't going to help you or them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How recently did he start the medication?

Sometimes the medication enables the person to learn better skills and ways of relating, but they still do have to learn it and that's a process. The medication is only the first step in the process.

Is your therapist someone who's good with ADHD marriages? If not, I would look for a different therapist with specifically that interest.

There are a lot of marriage articles here.
https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-marriage-advice-husband-symptoms/

NP, and I am the spouse of someone with ADHD. I hated this article because it puts so much onus on the non-ADHD spouse. I’ve tried patience and schedules and organization and now I feel major resentment toward my spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How recently did he start the medication?

Sometimes the medication enables the person to learn better skills and ways of relating, but they still do have to learn it and that's a process. The medication is only the first step in the process.

Is your therapist someone who's good with ADHD marriages? If not, I would look for a different therapist with specifically that interest.

There are a lot of marriage articles here.
https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-marriage-advice-husband-symptoms/

NP, and I am the spouse of someone with ADHD. I hated this article because it puts so much onus on the non-ADHD spouse. I’ve tried patience and schedules and organization and now I feel major resentment toward my spouse.

Anonymous wrote:This^. Its one thing to be a parent to your kids but another to be a parent to your spouse. However, what's the solution?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there’s a solution to fix an ND male and NT female relationship that doesn’t result in bitterness and resentment. Many men are already conditioned to have poor executive functioning skills and they simply lack empathy. When you add a diagnosis and children who are most likely afflicted with the same condition, it’s just too much to handle. You basically have a parentalized relationship versus an equal marriage and there’s nothing less romantic.

ADHD is too wide of a spectrum, your generalization only applies to a small percentage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there’s a solution to fix an ND male and NT female relationship that doesn’t result in bitterness and resentment. Many men are already conditioned to have poor executive functioning skills and they simply lack empathy. When you add a diagnosis and children who are most likely afflicted with the same condition, it’s just too much to handle. You basically have a parentalized relationship versus an equal marriage and there’s nothing less romantic.

ADHD is too wide of a spectrum, your generalization only applies to a small percentage.

It’s an accurate statement. ND is a broad term.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there’s a solution to fix an ND male and NT female relationship that doesn’t result in bitterness and resentment. Many men are already conditioned to have poor executive functioning skills and they simply lack empathy. When you add a diagnosis and children who are most likely afflicted with the same condition, it’s just too much to handle. You basically have a parentalized relationship versus an equal marriage and there’s nothing less romantic.

ADHD is too wide of a spectrum, your generalization only applies to a small percentage.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there’s a solution to fix an ND male and NT female relationship that doesn’t result in bitterness and resentment. Many men are already conditioned to have poor executive functioning skills and they simply lack empathy. When you add a diagnosis and children who are most likely afflicted with the same condition, it’s just too much to handle. You basically have a parentalized relationship versus an equal marriage and there’s nothing less romantic.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there’s a solution to fix an ND male and NT female relationship that doesn’t result in bitterness and resentment. Many men are already conditioned to have poor executive functioning skills and they simply lack empathy. When you add a diagnosis and children who are most likely afflicted with the same condition, it’s just too much to handle. You basically have a parentalized relationship versus an equal marriage and there’s nothing less romantic.