My advice to OP is to encourage your kid in the pursuit of big flagships. Do some tours, talk to alumni, figure out EA options, etc. But you should also visit some different kinds go schools--e.g., a few SLACs and T20s. I'd also encourage your to push your kid to apply to at least a few different kinds of schools mostly because teenage opinions on college often change from (a) Junior year to (b) fall/winter applications to (c) April decisions.

FWIW, I went to UCLA and had a great time. It was certainly large, but I found my people, developed great relationships with my professors, did an amazing study-abroad program for a year, and got into a T14 law school. Aside from being an absolute bargain in-state in the 90's, it was a good fit for me. My DS is now attending Swarthmore. It's also an amazing school. It's easier for him to get to know professors, seek counseling, and take advantage of opportunities, which are aggressively presented to all Swatties. And Swat's crazy per-student endowment is readily apparent in the number of funded opportunities. That said, I don't think his Swarthmore education is better than my UCLA one. UCLA also has vast resources, it's just that students need to take the initiative in seeking them out. That doesn't work for every student, but it works for many.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has good grades as a rising senior. Took the ACT today. My kid has no interest in ivy or top 10-20 schools. Kid wants the rah rah of sports and a large state school experience . Only 70ish kids will be in graduating class from HS.

I'm excited for our kid to do whatever they do. Im excited about the choice of the school that he/she may love!

We are so happy that our kid is picking schools for their future.

Do you feel differently? Do you have a role in choosing schools for your kids? Or certain expectations ?

My kids wanted had no interest in schools where students population is focused on sports, party, greek life nor in schools with over ambitious study rats. They preferred smaller schools with peers focused on academic and non academic learning in a relaxed non competitive manner.

Mine were turned off by how one-sided and overbearing the politics were at the Ivies.

My expectation has always been that our kids produce their best effort, so as not to close doors for themselves, and that we will facilitate this with all our support (time, advice, tutors, test prep, whatever else). This is because I have one kid with special needs and one kid who is gifted, and comparing their achievements is not appropriate. So it's "best effort" in this house.

I helped guide my oldest's college admissions process, and will do the same for my other child. They're reasonable kids, and generally we're on the same page about what a "best fit" college (or activity or anything else, really) looks like for each of them.

DS chose his school when he was 11. I had zero say in this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has good grades as a rising senior. Took the ACT today. My kid has no interest in ivy or top 10-20 schools. Kid wants the rah rah of sports and a large state school experience . Only 70ish kids will be in graduating class from HS.

I'm excited for our kid to do whatever they do. Im excited about the choice of the school that he/she may love!

We are so happy that our kid is picking schools for their future.

Do you feel differently? Do you have a role in choosing schools for your kids? Or certain expectations ?

My kids wanted had no interest in schools where students population is focused on sports, party, greek life nor in schools with over ambitious study rats. They preferred smaller schools with peers focused on academic and non academic learning in a relaxed non competitive manner.

That’s what they tell you. Your kids could be kings if the keg stand for all you know.

Anonymous wrote:Ours was accepted at schools in the 20s and chose a school that was in the 60s (now 80s). I've never known this kid to be happier than they are at this school and wouldn't change a thing.

I love this post. Good for your kid!

Anonymous wrote:My kid has good grades as a rising senior. Took the ACT today. My kid has no interest in ivy or top 10-20 schools. Kid wants the rah rah of sports and a large state school experience . Only 70ish kids will be in graduating class from HS.

I'm excited for our kid to do whatever they do. Im excited about the choice of the school that he/she may love!

We are so happy that our kid is picking schools for their future.

Do you feel differently? Do you have a role in choosing schools for your kids? Or certain expectations ?

It's FINE if your kid has the stats for T20 schools and doesn't want to go to them. Going to a T20 doesn't make you a better person or somehow superior to those who go to other schools. Did you want to feel like your kid is letting you down? These kinds of posts usually attract the smug people who do look down on those not at T20s, or T15.

Ours was accepted at schools in the 20s and chose a school that was in the 60s (now 80s). I've never known this kid to be happier than they are at this school and wouldn't change a thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has good grades as a rising senior. Took the ACT today. My kid has no interest in ivy or top 10-20 schools. Kid wants the rah rah of sports and a large state school experience . Only 70ish kids will be in graduating class from HS.

I'm excited for our kid to do whatever they do. Im excited about the choice of the school that he/she may love!

We are so happy that our kid is picking schools for their future.

Do you feel differently? Do you have a role in choosing schools for your kids? Or certain expectations ?

Ours had the smarts to be at T15/ivy and both loved them when we toured and hated big schools. Both had too many sports-are-everything prep school peers, wanted student athletes not to dominate all conversations and social structures. Both ended up T10 and a different one than I went to, and loved it. We encouraged T15/ivy because our experiences in college made it clear to us it was the better path for them, considering how they learn and think.

Same

My kid is an athlete and he still did not like the, as OP puts it “rah rah” schools. Not a drinker, very athletic but also very into academics-intellect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has good grades as a rising senior. Took the ACT today. My kid has no interest in ivy or top 10-20 schools. Kid wants the rah rah of sports and a large state school experience . Only 70ish kids will be in graduating class from HS.

I'm excited for our kid to do whatever they do. Im excited about the choice of the school that he/she may love!

We are so happy that our kid is picking schools for their future.

Do you feel differently? Do you have a role in choosing schools for your kids? Or certain expectations ?

Ours had the smarts to be at T15/ivy and both loved them when we toured and hated big schools. Both had too many sports-are-everything prep school peers, wanted student athletes not to dominate all conversations and social structures. Both ended up T10 and a different one than I went to, and loved it. We encouraged T15/ivy because our experiences in college made it clear to us it was the better path for them, considering how they learn and think.

Why T15 rather than T20?

Prestige and name dropping.

Anonymous wrote:My kid has good grades as a rising senior. Took the ACT today. My kid has no interest in ivy or top 10-20 schools. Kid wants the rah rah of sports and a large state school experience . Only 70ish kids will be in graduating class from HS.

I'm excited for our kid to do whatever they do. Im excited about the choice of the school that he/she may love!

We are so happy that our kid is picking schools for their future.

Do you feel differently? Do you have a role in choosing schools for your kids? Or certain expectations ?

My kids wanted had no interest in schools where students population is focused on sports, party, greek life nor in schools with over ambitious study rats. They preferred smaller schools with peers focused on academic and non academic learning in a relaxed non competitive manner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has good grades as a rising senior. Took the ACT today. My kid has no interest in ivy or top 10-20 schools. Kid wants the rah rah of sports and a large state school experience . Only 70ish kids will be in graduating class from HS.

I'm excited for our kid to do whatever they do. Im excited about the choice of the school that he/she may love!

We are so happy that our kid is picking schools for their future.

Do you feel differently? Do you have a role in choosing schools for your kids? Or certain expectations ?

Ours had the smarts to be at T15/ivy and both loved them when we toured and hated big schools. Both had too many sports-are-everything prep school peers, wanted student athletes not to dominate all conversations and social structures. Both ended up T10 and a different one than I went to, and loved it. We encouraged T15/ivy because our experiences in college made it clear to us it was the better path for them, considering how they learn and think.

Why T15 rather than T20?

To be more "elite". This is DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has good grades as a rising senior. Took the ACT today. My kid has no interest in ivy or top 10-20 schools. Kid wants the rah rah of sports and a large state school experience . Only 70ish kids will be in graduating class from HS.

I'm excited for our kid to do whatever they do. Im excited about the choice of the school that he/she may love!

We are so happy that our kid is picking schools for their future.

Do you feel differently? Do you have a role in choosing schools for your kids? Or certain expectations ?

Ours had the smarts to be at T15/ivy and both loved them when we toured and hated big schools. Both had too many sports-are-everything prep school peers, wanted student athletes not to dominate all conversations and social structures. Both ended up T10 and a different one than I went to, and loved it. We encouraged T15/ivy because our experiences in college made it clear to us it was the better path for them, considering how they learn and think.

Why T15 rather than T20?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has good grades as a rising senior. Took the ACT today. My kid has no interest in ivy or top 10-20 schools. Kid wants the rah rah of sports and a large state school experience . Only 70ish kids will be in graduating class from HS.

I'm excited for our kid to do whatever they do. Im excited about the choice of the school that he/she may love!

We are so happy that our kid is picking schools for their future.

Do you feel differently? Do you have a role in choosing schools for your kids? Or certain expectations ?

Ours had the smarts to be at T15/ivy and both loved them when we toured and hated big schools. Both had too many sports-are-everything prep school peers, wanted student athletes not to dominate all conversations and social structures. Both ended up T10 and a different one than I went to, and loved it. We encouraged T15/ivy because our experiences in college made it clear to us it was the better path for them, considering how they learn and think.

Curious where you think that this occurs. TIA

Anonymous wrote:We are no longer interested in the Ivys after they bungled the response to the pro-Hamas protests, and many were shown to be downright antiSemitic.

The Ivys have become a hostile learning environment, if you are Jewish.