Anonymous
Post 10/26/2024 12:34     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Anonymous wrote:Does here anyone SAH but also have a nanny or helper to assist with the second or third kid? What is your HHI?


How much extra are you paying for the 2nd and 3rd child? If you aren't paying extra then don't ask her to do anything for them.
Anonymous
Post 10/25/2024 17:48     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM. DH makes around $400k. We have four kids. I have a mother’s helper M-F from 4-8 pm. $20/hr. I am always there as well, tending to the kids, but having a second (or third, if DH is home) set of hands ensures every kid gets some individualized attention, get their homework done, books read to the little ones, etc.

I use babysitters when I run errands / have appointments.

All in I probably spend $2k/month on sitters / mothers helpers. It’s money well spent for us. I wouldn’t need this much help if I only had 1 or 2 kids. With four, it’s a different ballgame. My mothers helper works alongside me during the crazy homework / dinner / bath time / bedtime rush to make sure everyone is good.


You SAH with a helper with FOUR kids and DH makes 400k?


Yes? I’m not sure the point you’re making? I was just trying to explain how I utilize help and how much it costs my family.


NP. Ignore any haters. Your setup sounds awesome and like it works for you.


$25k a year spent on helpers sounds like a good use of your resources to me, too.


+1

Managing 4 kids is hard, especially when under age 8-10.
I personally only have 2 and they are 4 years apart, because I knew I couldn't manage more and provide the attention/assistance they deserve and keep my sanity (I also have a spouse who works long hours and travels a lot, even when they were young). It does seem like a great use of resources. She's doing it so the kids get more 1-1 or less than 4-1 attention. She's not doing it so the babysitter can watch the kids from 4-8pm and put them to bed while mommy is out partying it up with friends or getting a mani/pedi/etc. Seems like an awesome plan for anyone who can afford it.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2024 12:29     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM. DH makes around $400k. We have four kids. I have a mother’s helper M-F from 4-8 pm. $20/hr. I am always there as well, tending to the kids, but having a second (or third, if DH is home) set of hands ensures every kid gets some individualized attention, get their homework done, books read to the little ones, etc.

I use babysitters when I run errands / have appointments.

All in I probably spend $2k/month on sitters / mothers helpers. It’s money well spent for us. I wouldn’t need this much help if I only had 1 or 2 kids. With four, it’s a different ballgame. My mothers helper works alongside me during the crazy homework / dinner / bath time / bedtime rush to make sure everyone is good.


You SAH with a helper with FOUR kids and DH makes 400k?


Yes? I’m not sure the point you’re making? I was just trying to explain how I utilize help and how much it costs my family.


NP. Ignore any haters. Your setup sounds awesome and like it works for you.


$25k a year spent on helpers sounds like a good use of your resources to me, too.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2024 12:25     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM. DH makes around $400k. We have four kids. I have a mother’s helper M-F from 4-8 pm. $20/hr. I am always there as well, tending to the kids, but having a second (or third, if DH is home) set of hands ensures every kid gets some individualized attention, get their homework done, books read to the little ones, etc.

I use babysitters when I run errands / have appointments.

All in I probably spend $2k/month on sitters / mothers helpers. It’s money well spent for us. I wouldn’t need this much help if I only had 1 or 2 kids. With four, it’s a different ballgame. My mothers helper works alongside me during the crazy homework / dinner / bath time / bedtime rush to make sure everyone is good.


You SAH with a helper with FOUR kids and DH makes 400k?


Yes? I’m not sure the point you’re making? I was just trying to explain how I utilize help and how much it costs my family.


NP. Ignore any haters. Your setup sounds awesome and like it works for you.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2024 21:37     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM. DH makes around $400k. We have four kids. I have a mother’s helper M-F from 4-8 pm. $20/hr. I am always there as well, tending to the kids, but having a second (or third, if DH is home) set of hands ensures every kid gets some individualized attention, get their homework done, books read to the little ones, etc.

I use babysitters when I run errands / have appointments.

All in I probably spend $2k/month on sitters / mothers helpers. It’s money well spent for us. I wouldn’t need this much help if I only had 1 or 2 kids. With four, it’s a different ballgame. My mothers helper works alongside me during the crazy homework / dinner / bath time / bedtime rush to make sure everyone is good.


You SAH with a helper with FOUR kids and DH makes 400k?


Yes? I’m not sure the point you’re making? I was just trying to explain how I utilize help and how much it costs my family.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2024 20:34     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM. DH makes around $400k. We have four kids. I have a mother’s helper M-F from 4-8 pm. $20/hr. I am always there as well, tending to the kids, but having a second (or third, if DH is home) set of hands ensures every kid gets some individualized attention, get their homework done, books read to the little ones, etc.

I use babysitters when I run errands / have appointments.

All in I probably spend $2k/month on sitters / mothers helpers. It’s money well spent for us. I wouldn’t need this much help if I only had 1 or 2 kids. With four, it’s a different ballgame. My mothers helper works alongside me during the crazy homework / dinner / bath time / bedtime rush to make sure everyone is good.


You SAH with a helper with FOUR kids and DH makes 400k?
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2024 19:19     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Anonymous wrote:Lazy women who have children as accessory children SAH and hire nannies so they can ignore their children.


Only poor people raise their own kids.

Noticed you said women and not men.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2024 19:11     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Lazy women who have children as accessory children SAH and hire nannies so they can ignore their children.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2024 14:46     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I stopped working two years ago (youngest was 2), and we kept our nanny. Her role has morphed into more of a housekeeping role, but she'll also handle school pick ups or take one kid to the playground while I take another to an activity. My husband travels a ton and works long hours (and does next to nothing around the house), plus we don't have any local family, so this makes things much less stressful for everyone. It's obviously a luxury though! Our HHI is usually around $750K, but our net worth is very high.


What is your net worth? That set up sounds amazing. Our HHI is higher but nw isn’t incredible


$20M+
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2024 08:54     Subject: Re:Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
I’m not a 100% SAHM but having a nanny for our 2 year old kid was amazing when the second baby was born, even though DH was off work 2 months and I was off work 4 months. I work PT now (baby is 8 months) and I love having the nanny because it means I get more one on one time with my kids- especially important for making my older one feel like she’s got me back after the newborn phase took so much of my attention. And it’s nice because the kids are on totally different nap schedules and can’t play together yet. Nanny and I switch off a lot.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2024 22:50     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
I am a SAHM. DH makes around $400k. We have four kids. I have a mother’s helper M-F from 4-8 pm. $20/hr. I am always there as well, tending to the kids, but having a second (or third, if DH is home) set of hands ensures every kid gets some individualized attention, get their homework done, books read to the little ones, etc.

I use babysitters when I run errands / have appointments.

All in I probably spend $2k/month on sitters / mothers helpers. It’s money well spent for us. I wouldn’t need this much help if I only had 1 or 2 kids. With four, it’s a different ballgame. My mothers helper works alongside me during the crazy homework / dinner / bath time / bedtime rush to make sure everyone is good.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2024 22:29     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Anonymous wrote:I stopped working two years ago (youngest was 2), and we kept our nanny. Her role has morphed into more of a housekeeping role, but she'll also handle school pick ups or take one kid to the playground while I take another to an activity. My husband travels a ton and works long hours (and does next to nothing around the house), plus we don't have any local family, so this makes things much less stressful for everyone. It's obviously a luxury though! Our HHI is usually around $750K, but our net worth is very high.


What is your net worth? That set up sounds amazing. Our HHI is higher but nw isn’t incredible
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2024 17:14     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Anonymous wrote:My SIL (a SAH) had a nanny for the three kids -- then decided she would rather be with her kids and hired a daily housekeeper, a daily cleaning person and someone whose whole job was laundry (I think 2-3 times a week).

The kids are all in elem school.

She didn't want to continue to manage the house and everything -- just enjoys her kids. Every one is happy.


This is my dream
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2024 17:12     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
I stopped working two years ago (youngest was 2), and we kept our nanny. Her role has morphed into more of a housekeeping role, but she'll also handle school pick ups or take one kid to the playground while I take another to an activity. My husband travels a ton and works long hours (and does next to nothing around the house), plus we don't have any local family, so this makes things much less stressful for everyone. It's obviously a luxury though! Our HHI is usually around $750K, but our net worth is very high.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2024 16:55     Subject: Nanny to help with second kid when you SAH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I did, but she helped with one kid while the older one went to preschool a few times a week. The cost was not an issue for us.


How much is your hhi/nw such that cost was not an issue?


OP, it doesn’t really matter what WE think is reasonable. Your husband is the one you have to convince. Mine would have thought I was crazy to ask.


This. I am the pp with a part time nanny. It was DH’s idea, not mine.