I think they view this as 'their exercise'. There is nothing to handle other than your own processing of your feelings of anxiety and grieving over the aging process. They will be this mobile and injury free until they aren't. It sucks to deal with this- it's like the roles have flipped and now they are the risky toddlers who don't want to listen to reason- except it's worse because they are older/don't want to change/can't be wrong.

We've been struggling with these types of issues with my parents and ILs. We've decided that they are all adults capable of making their own decisions. They are making bad and foolish decisions but that's on them not on us. We continue to encourage getting more help but we're done trying to force it only to be frustrated in the end.

I actually think the trash cans is a good example of a battle not to fight unless it’s icy. It’s fairly flat, and if they fall they will probably slow down from holding the can handle.

They need to do whatever they can do reasonably safely as long as possible. That’s a better way to prevent falls than restricting movement.

Install a lot of grab bars and hope for the best. If you want to hire someone, make it a physical therapist/personal trainer.

They are adults. Let them know that if they decide they want help, you will help them identify a vendor. Otherwise back off and let them be adults. Seniors who stay physically active are much healthier, so don't discourage them (except maybe from cleaning the gutters).

Anonymous wrote:You should check with the city/county to see if they provide service to pull trash can in and out for the elderly or disabled.
The trash service for my elderly mom (who does not live in the area) marks the trash can with a big orange heart that indicates that the trash can needs to be pulled out and emptied and then placed back to original position. The has worked wonderful and there was not additional charge.

My parents are disabled (not in the area) and were able to register for a similar service.

You should check with the city/county to see if they provide service to pull trash can in and out for the elderly or disabled.
The trash service for my elderly mom (who does not live in the area) marks the trash can with a big orange heart that indicates that the trash can needs to be pulled out and emptied and then placed back to original position. The has worked wonderful and there was not additional charge.

You offer to hire someone to help every time they complain and eventually they will either take you up on it or hurt themselves. My elderly FIL insists on cutting his own grass, even though he has bad knees and has gotten heat stroke twice doing it twice and had to go to the hospital once. They live a plane ride away and DH has offered repeatedly to find a neighborhood kid to do it for them. FIL doesn’t trust services and spends a lot of time figuring out watering and fertilizer and seeds etc. He may keel over and die one day taking care of his lawn, but there really isn’t anything we can do about it if he won’t accept help!

Is there a neighborhood kid you can pay to do the trash cans? My 5 year old loves to pull up trash cans (we have a long driveway too). You can hire people to do just about anything- water plants, mulch, collect mail while you're gone, etc.

I would not spend my weekend mulching my parents' yard. I do spend weekends hanging out with my parents, but chores that take away from my own family are a no.