what!

I think people with kids do complain about their kids a little bit like warding off the 'evil' eye or defending against hubris. I had a super easy time getting pregnant, no pain during child birth, no special needs, live in DC, good lottery luck and could stay home when the kids were little with some help- I was supremely blessed and I think if I'd just said that- id come off as a smug a$$ h--- sooooo I'd complain about how my husband was never home, how the 3 year old tantrums were crazy etc etc b/c I had no desire to come off as a smug a$$hat. Those years of my life were so easy and good and rich and people who didnt know that I'd had a lot of difficulties before then might just think I was this spoiled brat of a person. however I know how it feels to be the person who's struggling, I definitely don't want to admit to having a 'golden' life, I'm afraid of hubris or what will happen when there is a challenge- instead of rallying around me- people will have less sympathy b/c that is human nature as i've observed it.

also, I'm sure being a parent isn't for everyone and there are people who truly regret it and didnt think it through but the vast majority of people find such a deep joy and high in their children that its not really communicable to someone who hasn't experienced it. Kind of like an orgasm- if you haven't felt that, none can explain it to you, that is how good it feels to look at your child or cuddle them, but no one goes around saying this b/c its weird. I have the same amount of good feelings released when my kids cuddle up next to me on a Saturday morning that I do when I'm at the top of a hike and can look at the view. sometimes when I'm hiking it seems incredibly hot and miserable and exhausting, so is parenting sometimes.

Eh, I think people are being too harsh with OP. I think there are indeed people who regret having kids or at least the hard parts of having them. Sometimes, it's a temporary blip but sometimes longer. When they say these things to you, you could ask them, "Really? Why do you say that?" out of genuine curiosity. Or maybe just chuckle and say, "Yes, being DINKS has its perks!"

I don't actually believe you. I do think some people regret having kids but most don't say it out loud. I met a woman recently who very clearly loathe every aspect of parenting (I do think she loves her daughter but just deeply hates being a mom) and she still wasn't going to admit it out loud. There's something about saying you regret the existence of your child-- a non psychopath will not say this, it's too mean.

I also think a lot of people regret having as many kids as they did but again, in the specific saying this would mean wishing away the existence if one or more children and you have to be completely broken to do that.

Personally I love being a parent and being DINKS whose biggest highlight in life is a vacation to Europe sounds so dull to me. And I like travel. But parenting offers true purpose and meaning and love. It's on another level. I think there are some jobs that are comparable to parenthood in terms of purpose/meaning (teacher, certain other public service, certain medical jobs) but the idea of being a DINK with some average desk job and my life revolving around leisure activities? Forever? It sounds soulless.

I'm a parent and I think you did it wrong.

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess this balances it out for OP!

Nah. I’ll retire 20 years earlier than you while you’ll still be stuck paying for college loans and a wedding, lol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:G.d. This is a mean bunch of women.

Not really. They are so good at it they have managed to fool people like OP. They keep their true opinions to themselves, as they should. But if you ask anonymously, people will tell you what they really think.

+100
I do believe that I learn more truths about how people really think here on DCUM than in my day-to-day interactions. Being anonymous allows posts here to be honest and direct.

Well, I guess this balances it out for OP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:G.d. This is a mean bunch of women.

Not really. They are so good at it they have managed to fool people like OP. They keep their true opinions to themselves, as they should. But if you ask anonymously, people will tell you what they really think.

This is true.

Be honest OP: you're really 33 and have another decade of fertility, and you're likely going to have children.

I wish the media/socials would stop overusing the word DINKs and limit it to the people who are truly DINKs for life. ie, they're 55 years old, or both partners have had tubal ligation/hysterectomy/vasectomy.

(yes, I know families can be formed in many ways and vasectomy can be reverse. but at least this is a tangible sign you're deeply committed rather than an attention seeking Gen Z)

Anonymous wrote:G.d. This is a mean bunch of women.

Are you new here?

Anonymous wrote:G.d. This is a mean bunch of women.

Not really. They are so good at it they have managed to fool people like OP. They keep their true opinions to themselves, as they should. But if you ask anonymously, people will tell you what they really think.

Parenting is hard but I have never regretted it foe a second.

Also I went to Europe in vacation last year, with my kid. It was great!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

The funniest part will be when the so called meaning of your life abandons you in old age and you die alone because everyone hates you for the lowlife, terrible parent that you probably are. Your kids secretly hate you and would love nothing better than to cutoff all ties.

Looks like someone has been triggered!

This is why we feel sorry for them deep down. Nobody would say it out loud, but they lead empty sad lives as you can see.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

The funniest part will be when the so called meaning of your life abandons you in old age and you die alone because everyone hates you for the lowlife, terrible parent that you probably are. Your kids secretly hate you and would love nothing better than to cutoff all ties.

Looks like someone has been triggered!

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

The funniest part will be when the so called meaning of your life abandons you in old age and you die alone because everyone hates you for the lowlife, terrible parent that you probably are. Your kids secretly hate you and would love nothing better than to cutoff all ties.