About half of the items sound like my friend that I lost. I don't know if you are my friend, but maybe. The relationship really can't be repaired because we have different ethics. I still mourn the loss of her but I really can't see us ever being friends again. Instead of being sad about the relationship ending, I was furious for a long while.

Anonymous wrote:Just getting this off my chest. A series of misunderstandings led to the end of a long friendship last year. It was the second most important relationship in my life.

I still miss her, even though at least I don’t think about her every day now. It’s like she died.

I know she hates me now and would probably piss on my grave if she had the opportunity. She nearly did. A few months ago I had seizures and nearly died while in another country and I had to use sheer willpower to not fall asleep. I thought about my spouse and the loss of this relationship. I tried to reach out to her after to see if maybe we could start to mend things, but it didn’t go well.

She probably won’t see this, but if she does, she will know it’s her.

I’m sorry for what happened. Hopefully seeing this doesn’t raise your ire. I know your life is stressful right now, and I wish you the best. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Sus. Listen, you don't reach out to try to mend things. You reach out to clean up your side of the mess by taking responsibility, acknowledging wrongdoing, and making a meaningful/appropriate amends. No expectations that you and the other party might reconnect. The only function of a point of connection after a separation/severing of ties is to apologize w/o any pressure for anything else.

If that's truly what you did, and all you did, and it still didn't go well, that's on her. But if you had some sort of "life is short" experience and realized you wanted your friend back and tried to reopen doors she'd closed, you're the @hole. That's really manipulative behavior, even if you don't disclose your near-death experience.

"I recognize that I didn't treat you kindly, and I wanted to apologize for how my words/actions messed with your life." That's all. No "I hope we can be friends" no "I'd like to reconnect" none of that. Someone who walked away from your BS doesn't owe you reconnection.

It's tough. I had a bad friendship for a few years I ended up breaking. I don't think she's a bad person but it was a bad relationship. Sometimes it needs to happen. There really is no point dwelling, but it takes time to get over.

The only reason to have this kind of rift is OP did something completely unconscionable or BFF is a bad friend.

I think ostracism is cruel and juvenile. A friend did that to me once. We reconnected but have never been as close. I’m sorry this is happening to you. Focus on your life and let her go her own way. After a few years she may become a distant fond memory.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just getting this off my chest. A series of misunderstandings led to the end of a long friendship last year. It was the second most important relationship in my life.

I still miss her, even though at least I don’t think about her every day now. It’s like she died.

I know she hates me now and would probably piss on my grave if she had the opportunity. She nearly did. A few months ago I had seizures and nearly died while in another country and I had to use sheer willpower to not fall asleep. I thought about my spouse and the loss of this relationship. I tried to reach out to her after to see if maybe we could start to mend things, but it didn’t go well.

She probably won’t see this, but if she does, she will know it’s her.

I’m sorry for what happened. Hopefully seeing this doesn’t raise your ire. I know your life is stressful right now, and I wish you the best. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Do you ever ask yourself if you are a narcist? Or are you always the victim. Leave this woman alone

narcissist

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. And trying to get her attention through sympathy for your incident is manipulation.

That’s why I never told her about it.

You just did in this post.

Oh. It actually is you. I didn’t mean to anger you today. But yes, I will do as you ask and stop talking.

Anonymous wrote:Just getting this off my chest. A series of misunderstandings led to the end of a long friendship last year. It was the second most important relationship in my life.

I still miss her, even though at least I don’t think about her every day now. It’s like she died.

I know she hates me now and would probably piss on my grave if she had the opportunity. She nearly did. A few months ago I had seizures and nearly died while in another country and I had to use sheer willpower to not fall asleep. I thought about my spouse and the loss of this relationship. I tried to reach out to her after to see if maybe we could start to mend things, but it didn’t go well.

She probably won’t see this, but if she does, she will know it’s her.

I’m sorry for what happened. Hopefully seeing this doesn’t raise your ire. I know your life is stressful right now, and I wish you the best. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Do you ever ask yourself if you are a narcist? Or are you always the victim. Leave this woman alone

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. And trying to get her attention through sympathy for your incident is manipulation.

That’s why I never told her about it.

You just did in this post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move on! There will be other friends. I'm not sure how a woman is going to piss on your grave, logistically.

Pretty sure she bought a she-wee, and she is the most determined person I’ve met, lol.

I had to Google that and now I need one.
We've all been on both sides of friendship break ups. I'll admit I was the bad friend in that I wasn't putting in what my friend was (reaching out, inviting, being open...) and they were better off without me. I've also been the one who is better off without someone actively making my life more miserable with their "good intentions" and I'm better off without them. They all hurt but as pp said, it is most painful at first and fades away with time. There are things to do, people to see and fun to be had and if she was cursing you with her absolute hatred, that fades too.

I sure hope so. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. And trying to get her attention through sympathy for your incident is manipulation.

That’s why I never told her about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move on! There will be other friends. I'm not sure how a woman is going to piss on your grave, logistically.

Pretty sure she bought a she-wee, and she is the most determined person I’ve met, lol.

I had to Google that and now I need one.
We've all been on both sides of friendship break ups. I'll admit I was the bad friend in that I wasn't putting in what my friend was (reaching out, inviting, being open...) and they were better off without me. I've also been the one who is better off without someone actively making my life more miserable with their "good intentions" and I'm better off without them. They all hurt but as pp said, it is most painful at first and fades away with time. There are things to do, people to see and fun to be had and if she was cursing you with her absolute hatred, that fades too.

Let it go. And trying to get her attention through sympathy for your incident is manipulation.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I can see why she wants to getaway.

ouch

Anonymous wrote:I'm betting it was gossip. I think you should give it another few months and then reach out. She may realize your ethical mismatch doesn't make a good relationship and she's better off.

I didn’t gossip. We both had a very bad couple of weeks and didn’t have the patience with each other that was deserved. I regret it.