Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Her kid has anxiety, depression and is not on a path towards adulting. She is smart to want to ensure it's not blown, more importantly not blown on drugs/gambling/addictions of any type.

I don’t think keeping the child perpetually a kid is the answer. So what if dc blows through the money. It’s a learning experience, let dc grow into an adult. Their is no bulletproof way doing it.

This is not only about losing the money (easy come, easy go). He could use the money to actively hurt himself by using it on drugs, motorcycle, fast cars, drinking binges, weapons, etc.

+1000

I highly doubt the 90yo relative would want that. They just most likely don't want to do the work to setup a trust/plan for distribution.

While there is no "bulletproof way", there are plenty of ways to ensure the kid doesn't blow thru it all and harm themselves or others in the process. No sound estate planner would recommend giving even a 4.0UW, perfect student and person who is actively involved in their community, the 100K directly until 25 or 30.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Seriously? Your will just hands the inheritance over to your kids in a lump sum, no matter what age they are?

My kids are level-headed and not at all materialistic, and they'll still get percentages on milestone birthdays.

Np, why is the kid not allowed to make mistakes? Maybe dc wil surprise op and see it as a new beginning. If no strings attached why attach strings?

Just like you don't turn your 5 yo loose with the push lawn mower, without any supervision, simply because "They want to". You don't just "let them learn". The consequences could be major and bad. Instead, you guide them, teach them and give them appropriate tasks in the yard and let them use the push mower with you assisting, until you are 100% certain they are capable of it.


But a 16-18 yo who refuses to complete HS, is in therapy and not learning to help themselves from this therapy, hell no. Any major therapist would tell you that giving them 100K would be a bad idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Seriously? Your will just hands the inheritance over to your kids in a lump sum, no matter what age they are?

My kids are level-headed and not at all materialistic, and they'll still get percentages on milestone birthdays.

Np, why is the kid not allowed to make mistakes? Maybe dc wil surprise op and see it as a new beginning. If no strings attached why attach strings?

Kids are allowed to make mistakes. But for most people, including this 18yo, a lump sum of 100K is a huge amount. It would be stupid to let them "make mistakes" and blow thru this money. It could be a life changing amount if used properly.

OP description of their son is that he's immature, so likely not really "age 18" mentally (most ADHD, many boys are not as mature as their age indicates for the decision making process)
They do stupid stuff. Age 18 isn't the magical number where someone automatically becomes responsible. So instead let them learn with $2-3K and see what they do with it. If kid was 17 nobody would think twice about parent having some control/guidance. The switch doesn't automatically flip to full adult at 18

My in-laws plan to leave money to our kids but all four of us agree it will be in trust with age hurdles for various distributions. No way do I want them getting a large sum at 18 should my in-laws die prematurely.

Anonymous wrote:If the kid is still in this state when he inherits it could be pretty bad. Op has every reason to be concerned.

Op we had a kid in the same mind set. Check into the possibility of a codicil. Good luck with it.

Thank you. I’m thinking distributions. My relative wants my child to use it for college but doesn’t stipulate that in his will. I’m not sure if my DC will go that route. So, what is like to do is have something allowed to be taken for college payments, and if not used for college, provide distributions at 25 and 30.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Her kid has anxiety, depression and is not on a path towards adulting. She is smart to want to ensure it's not blown, more importantly not blown on drugs/gambling/addictions of any type.

I don’t think keeping the child perpetually a kid is the answer. So what if dc blows through the money. It’s a learning experience, let dc grow into an adult. Their is no bulletproof way doing it.

This is not only about losing the money (easy come, easy go). He could use the money to actively hurt himself by using it on drugs, motorcycle, fast cars, drinking binges, weapons, etc.

If the kid is still in this state when he inherits it could be pretty bad. Op has every reason to be concerned.

Op we had a kid in the same mind set. Check into the possibility of a codicil. Good luck with it.

A minor can not receive an inheritance. A legal guardian is required to manage it until
They are 18.

I can’t help you once they are 18, check with an estate planner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Her kid has anxiety, depression and is not on a path towards adulting. She is smart to want to ensure it's not blown, more importantly not blown on drugs/gambling/addictions of any type.

I don’t think keeping the child perpetually a kid is the answer. So what if dc blows through the money. It’s a learning experience, let dc grow into an adult. Their is no bulletproof way doing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Seriously? Your will just hands the inheritance over to your kids in a lump sum, no matter what age they are?

My kids are level-headed and not at all materialistic, and they'll still get percentages on milestone birthdays.

Np, why is the kid not allowed to make mistakes? Maybe dc wil surprise op and see it as a new beginning. If no strings attached why attach strings?

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Her kid has anxiety, depression and is not on a path towards adulting. She is smart to want to ensure it's not blown, more importantly not blown on drugs/gambling/addictions of any type.

Anonymous wrote:Dramatic is controlling an adult

Maybe dramatic is not the word you are looking for

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Seriously? Your will just hands the inheritance over to your kids in a lump sum, no matter what age they are?

My kids are level-headed and not at all materialistic, and they'll still get percentages on milestone birthdays.

DP

This is not OP's will. My will has ages, but I know I cannot control other people's wills. And to try to control other people's dying wishes is very manipulative.

Let’s not get dramatic here. The OP is trying to influence, not control, how a relatively small (though large to a teenager) amount of money is transferred to his own child. It’s not some forgotten Roy child coming in and trying to get a controlling share of Waystar Royco.

Dramatic is controlling an adult

A barely 18 with tons of cash and no one advising them...

That's called a target and I'd fear for their life.