Anonymous wrote:My kids are 5 and 8 and dont know how to sleep in. They are up at 6:30 every day. So bedtime is still 8:30 with them falling asleep by 9. Occasional later night is ok but they just fall asleep on couches etc. Camp starts earlier than school for us anyway.

Same here, but they’re up by 6, and asleep by 7:30 or 8. Our 8 year old is yawning through dinner and usually falls asleep pretty quickly around 7:45 or so. We’ve tried a few times the past couple of summers to gradually switch them to later bedtimes without success, and after a week or two of later nights and earlier mornings, someone, usually the 8yo, winds up sick. It sucks because they’re getting to an age that so many activities are in the evenings, and it doesn’t work well for them to participate.

We do occasionally keep them up for special events, and that is usually okay, we just have to plan for a chill day or two afterward or someone will get sick.

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t what you asked, but my kids are now teens and I look back with regret about how rigid I was with naps and bedtimes for so long. Yes, mine might have been cranky and difficult the next day. No, they would never sleep in. But on balance, I think we should have done more of the “living” and events because those are ultimately where the memories are made. Especially because even a kid who got an early bedtime might be cranky or difficult for another reason the next day. Do all the fun things! This is the time! You can’t go back!

I was rigid AF with naps and I do not regret a minute of it. Once they are 4 or 5 that goes away completely. I can't think of single thing I am sad to have missed because of naps.

We found it easier to slide bedtime later, but still be consistent day to day. Our kids (and us) couldn’t handle inconsistency.

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t what you asked, but my kids are now teens and I look back with regret about how rigid I was with naps and bedtimes for so long. Yes, mine might have been cranky and difficult the next day. No, they would never sleep in. But on balance, I think we should have done more of the “living” and events because those are ultimately where the memories are made. Especially because even a kid who got an early bedtime might be cranky or difficult for another reason the next day. Do all the fun things! This is the time! You can’t go back!

As a counterpoint, I have three children who rarely miss bedtime and we have not *once* regretted avoiding crankiness for an extra hour (during which they were getting tired and cranky anyway)!

Our kids are 9, 8 and 5 and they maybe miss bedtime 5 times per year, mostly in the summer. I find people (especially young parents) are very understanding about leaving places at 7 pm for bedtime.

This isn’t what you asked, but my kids are now teens and I look back with regret about how rigid I was with naps and bedtimes for so long. Yes, mine might have been cranky and difficult the next day. No, they would never sleep in. But on balance, I think we should have done more of the “living” and events because those are ultimately where the memories are made. Especially because even a kid who got an early bedtime might be cranky or difficult for another reason the next day. Do all the fun things! This is the time! You can’t go back!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really kid dependent. My kids are 4, 7 and 9. They can all stay up late on a Friday or Saturday and be fine the next day. 4 year old may fall asleep randomly in weird places the next day but he is fine.

I am strict during the school year about bedtime though. They all need around 10 hours of sleep (12 for the 4 year old) to be good the next day. When they go to bed late on the weekend or summer they sleep in late. Can’t do that during school.

A kid randomly falling asleep is fine?

Yes fool

Sorry agree to disagree. What are you doing that you can’t get your kid proper rest?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really kid dependent. My kids are 4, 7 and 9. They can all stay up late on a Friday or Saturday and be fine the next day. 4 year old may fall asleep randomly in weird places the next day but he is fine.

I am strict during the school year about bedtime though. They all need around 10 hours of sleep (12 for the 4 year old) to be good the next day. When they go to bed late on the weekend or summer they sleep in late. Can’t do that during school.

A kid randomly falling asleep is fine?

Yes fool

Anonymous wrote:Really kid dependent. My kids are 4, 7 and 9. They can all stay up late on a Friday or Saturday and be fine the next day. 4 year old may fall asleep randomly in weird places the next day but he is fine.

I am strict during the school year about bedtime though. They all need around 10 hours of sleep (12 for the 4 year old) to be good the next day. When they go to bed late on the weekend or summer they sleep in late. Can’t do that during school.

A kid randomly falling asleep is fine?

Anonymous wrote:We never had a strict bedtime. If the kids have activities late, we stay up late. If they’re tired they go to bed early.

Np—when my kids were 5 and 7 this never worked. We would keep them up for special occasions and one would melt down that night and both would wake up EARLIER than normal and be horrible the next day. I felt so trapped and people didn’t understand.

They got better around 9 and 11? Honesty it really did take that long. Even as teens now they prefer earlier bedtimes than their peers (we do not force)

Has more to do with when/if your kid will sleep in or adjust. My 9 year old still wont. He wakes up at 7am regardless of when he goes to bed and is just grumpy if he goes to bed late. So there is almost never a time when I think its worth staying up late. He goes to sleep at 830 every night we can. A few times during the summer he will stay up for fireworks or a late sports game or something like that, but it always results in poor behavior the next day so we just have to factor that in.

Many kids adjust at earlier ages. If your kid doesn't, dont try to force it.

My oldest is 10 and I have just stopped worrying about this as much in the last year with her. It was not an age she reached, but how she acted the next day. She used to just fall apart and be a MESS if she didn't get enough rest. She wakes up at 7am no matter what time she goes to bed. Over the last year, this has gotten a lot better. She can be tired without melting down and having total crying tantrums.

So, I've been a lot more flexible with her. My younger one is 7 and he's ok with a little disruption now too, but not two nights in a row. He will sometimes sleep in a bit to make up for it though.

Anonymous wrote:We never had a strict bedtime. If the kids have activities late, we stay up late. If they’re tired they go to bed early.

Pretty much the same. We were pretty strict through toddler aged but after that, much more flexible. It is so kid dependent though. DS is similar to me with his sleep flexibility. He and I can stay up late, get up in the morning and be totally fine. DH is usually the one who has more trouble adjusting if he stays up late!

So you do what works for you kid. If they can stay up til 10pm because you took them somewhere and then get up in the morning and have a great day at camp, then you can be flexible with bedtime. If you keep them up til 10pm and the next day they are exhausted and moody, well probably best to be more strict with bedtime if you have planned things for the next day.

Anonymous wrote:We never had a strict bedtime. If the kids have activities late, we stay up late. If they’re tired they go to bed early.

Same

We never had a strict bedtime. If the kids have activities late, we stay up late. If they’re tired they go to bed early.