Tweens can do a little research and make a list of places they want to go over the summer. My kids are younger, but we also make a list at the beginning of the summer of things we want to do and add/check off stuff the whole summer.

I don’t think you have to provide structure like a timetable but providing a list of things they need to do at their discretion can be good— like by 5pm, they need to have finished specific chores, summer math/reading, etc. I stayed home with older siblings when I was a tween and my mom always left us a list like this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you didn’t even bother to read the OP, so typical. Her kids are TWEENS. They don’t want to be “out of the house by 7:30” or have scheduled weekly “outings” with mom. Let them sleep within reason. Give them a few daily chores, a daily reading requirement, and a screen time limit. Encourage them to have friends over and/or take them to meet friends at the pool. This is not rocket science. Some of you sound literally insane.

I’m the out of the house at 7:30 poster. My kids are 9, 10, 12. 14, and 15.
The 10 year old is on swim team, and the 15 year old bikes over there with them. The other kids go on a run with me.
And of course kids want to go to the library and on outings with mom.

You must homeschool or otherwise have very odd teens. My teens only wake up early when they have work or camp. And when we want something from the library, we request it and pick it up from the hold shelf on the way to somewhere else. “Outings” are to meet their friends shopping or at the pool.

Not PP but it's hilarious that you think your kids are the way "most" kids are, and are getting so worked up about someone doing it differently. Families are different, they like and prioritize different things. PP's kids aren't "odd" and I don't get "homeschool" from her comment.

Personally I would never want to be out on a run at 7:30 am and neither would my kids. We definitely prefer to sleep later and get slower starts. But that's us. We also happily spend hours at the library every week. No one in my family goes shopping as a part-time. But I don't think the PP or you are "odd." Just different than my family, which is fine.

Maybe ask yourself why you are so triggered by some of these comments. Does it make you sad that your kids have so little interest in hanging out with you? Do you feel threatened by early risers, very sporty families, people whose kids love the library? Because there is no need for the hostility and plenty of others were able to share varying strategies for this without putting anyone down.

Just curious if you have a 15 year old or know any? It does not sound like it. These kids are about to drive and many have jobs and very busy lives. They are quickly moving towards independence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you didn’t even bother to read the OP, so typical. Her kids are TWEENS. They don’t want to be “out of the house by 7:30” or have scheduled weekly “outings” with mom. Let them sleep within reason. Give them a few daily chores, a daily reading requirement, and a screen time limit. Encourage them to have friends over and/or take them to meet friends at the pool. This is not rocket science. Some of you sound literally insane.

I’m the out of the house at 7:30 poster. My kids are 9, 10, 12. 14, and 15.
The 10 year old is on swim team, and the 15 year old bikes over there with them. The other kids go on a run with me.
And of course kids want to go to the library and on outings with mom.

You must homeschool or otherwise have very odd teens. My teens only wake up early when they have work or camp. And when we want something from the library, we request it and pick it up from the hold shelf on the way to somewhere else. “Outings” are to meet their friends shopping or at the pool.

Not PP but it's hilarious that you think your kids are the way "most" kids are, and are getting so worked up about someone doing it differently. Families are different, they like and prioritize different things. PP's kids aren't "odd" and I don't get "homeschool" from her comment.

Personally I would never want to be out on a run at 7:30 am and neither would my kids. We definitely prefer to sleep later and get slower starts. But that's us. We also happily spend hours at the library every week. No one in my family goes shopping as a part-time. But I don't think the PP or you are "odd." Just different than my family, which is fine.

Maybe ask yourself why you are so triggered by some of these comments. Does it make you sad that your kids have so little interest in hanging out with you? Do you feel threatened by early risers, very sporty families, people whose kids love the library? Because there is no need for the hostility and plenty of others were able to share varying strategies for this without putting anyone down.

Pool, out to eat, shopping, vacations, craft days, museums, out with friends, lazy days, movies and such. We live near DC. So much you can do.

Anonymous wrote:So many of you didn’t even bother to read the OP, so typical. Her kids are TWEENS. They don’t want to be “out of the house by 7:30” or have scheduled weekly “outings” with mom. Let them sleep within reason. Give them a few daily chores, a daily reading requirement, and a screen time limit. Encourage them to have friends over and/or take them to meet friends at the pool. This is not rocket science. Some of you sound literally insane.

I'm the PP with the loose schedule that includes a Friday outing. My kid is a tween. She sleeps later in the summer, has friends over regularly, and doesn't need a reading requirement or a screen time limit because she'd rather read than watch screens anyway. She loves Friday outings with mom (and sometimes dad) and sometimes a friend tags along. We like having a schedule to give the week shape and ensure we always have something to look forward to.

Not all tweens are the same, and maybe not everyone has to do things your way. Just a thought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you didn’t even bother to read the OP, so typical. Her kids are TWEENS. They don’t want to be “out of the house by 7:30” or have scheduled weekly “outings” with mom. Let them sleep within reason. Give them a few daily chores, a daily reading requirement, and a screen time limit. Encourage them to have friends over and/or take them to meet friends at the pool. This is not rocket science. Some of you sound literally insane.

I’m the out of the house at 7:30 poster. My kids are 9, 10, 12. 14, and 15.
The 10 year old is on swim team, and the 15 year old bikes over there with them. The other kids go on a run with me.
And of course kids want to go to the library and on outings with mom.

You must homeschool or otherwise have very odd teens. My teens only wake up early when they have work or camp. And when we want something from the library, we request it and pick it up from the hold shelf on the way to somewhere else. “Outings” are to meet their friends shopping or at the pool.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a pool?
I work but do 12s including weekends so have 2-3 days off mid week. Also have a tween.
My plan is to do 1-2 day trips per week, Calvert Cliffs looking for shark teeth, Greenbrier lake, science center, Baltimore zoo, etc….. the weeks she is not in camp. Filled in with pool time and seeing friends.
I have mom friends with kids same age or close so will do things with them
Sometimes too.
I’m going to make mine do 30 mins reading a day and some reading comprehension work2-3x a week.
I’m going to try not to restrict screens but if it’s excessive will have to put time/controls on that.

Thank you!

I also plan to do some enrichment as well. Can I pick your brain? Do you force outdoor time? Like, off your butts and go outside and explore? Like take a walk or ride your bike and get lost for an hour?

No never force outdoor time. No you don't say "get lost for an hour"

If you want them outdoors and they don't do that on their own then get off your butt an plan something outdoors.

Or pay for camp for the whole summer if you are that lazy.

And nothing wrong with a little bit of just hanging in the house.

Comments like this are why I love this site.

Our kids go to camp for eight weeks. I don't believe in them hanging out doing nothing for weeks on end.

Anonymous wrote:So many of you didn’t even bother to read the OP, so typical. Her kids are TWEENS. They don’t want to be “out of the house by 7:30” or have scheduled weekly “outings” with mom. Let them sleep within reason. Give them a few daily chores, a daily reading requirement, and a screen time limit. Encourage them to have friends over and/or take them to meet friends at the pool. This is not rocket science. Some of you sound literally insane.

I’m the out of the house at 7:30 poster. My kids are 9, 10, 12. 14, and 15.
The 10 year old is on swim team, and the 15 year old bikes over there with them. The other kids go on a run with me.
And of course kids want to go to the library and on outings with mom.

So many of you didn’t even bother to read the OP, so typical. Her kids are TWEENS. They don’t want to be “out of the house by 7:30” or have scheduled weekly “outings” with mom. Let them sleep within reason. Give them a few daily chores, a daily reading requirement, and a screen time limit. Encourage them to have friends over and/or take them to meet friends at the pool. This is not rocket science. Some of you sound literally insane.

We do have a daily schedule at our house or my kids do get bored and start to bicker.
Everyone out of the house by 7:30am to do some kind of exercise. Usually a run. Afterward, kids shower and make breakfast while I weed and do some yard work. After breakfast they clean their rooms. Then “mom school” that includes some math and writing. My seventh grader wants to learn more about Native American history, so maybe I will have her teach us a little about what she is learning, and I will do some teaching about it as well.

That’s all usually done by 11am or so. Afternoons, they read, play video games, watch YouTube, see friends, go to the pool, practice music, hang out in their rooms and listen to music, etc.

Evenings we grill a lot or have dinner at the pool.

I’m a teacher, so my every summer is home with my son. He’ll be 10 this summer.

1 week baseball camp
1 week golf camp
2 weeks family vacation
3 weeks down time

During the down time the rule is we must leave the house every day. It can be to walk the dogs, to run errands, or a day trip to a water park, but we must get dressed and go out. Otherwise we both get crabby! But other than that, no plans. After camp is down time, hanging with neighbors or watching a movie or just being a bum. Lazy summers are a gift!!

Huh, I'm going to disagree with the people saying not to bother with a schedule or structure. I think it helps to break up the week if you have a bit of a plan. But I wouldn't schedule down to the minute, just pick a few regular activities you do on the same day every week.

Like here's an example of a schedule I'd use for a kid who was home or just in half day camps:

Monday -- library, check out enough reading to get through the week. Our library has a summer reading challenge and this is a good way to check on that progress weekly and kids can earn prizes throughout the summer this way. This is a 2-3 hour activity for us, with the walk over, browsing, sit and read for a bit, then walk home

Tues -- pool. Depending on schedule, we'll either go right when it opens and then leave before it gets too hot, or go mid-afternoon and stay until close. Doing the pool the day after the library usually means plenty of reading at the pool.

Wednesday -- free day with an evening activity. The activity could be a class through parks and rec, a regular gathering at the library (lego club or a chess club), or a more formal class like tap or tai kwon do. Just something to look forward to weekly that involves hanging out with other kids and learning something.

Thursday -- pool

Friday -- special outing, usually a museum. We'll cycle through all the Smithsonian's and the National Gallery this way over the summer but could also hit up one of the NoVa water parks or do a hike if the weather is good. Sometimes my DH can take a whole or half day off and can join us, and we turn it into a three day weekend and go out to dinner as well.

There is still plenty of unscheduled time in this, plus if the weather is bad on pool days, you make decisions on the fly. But I find having a schedule like this gives the summer a bit of a rhythm and helps my kid relax a bit, becasue there is always something to look forward to.

Pool, pool, pool!
And sprinkle a few fun day trips

Anonymous wrote:I feed them breakfast, make sure they get their chores done, then I tell them to go outside and find something to do while I lay on the couch eating chocolate and pounding back a few martinis. If they get hungry for lunch they make a sandwich. They usually wake me around 4 and I tell them what to cook for dinner. After they wash the dishes they go back outside to play until dark. I do things around the house for 30 minutes, take a shower, and go to bed after they get done outside. If the hubs gets home early he might take them out for a couple hours while I nap or watch a movie.

I can’t tell if this is a joke or not…