Yes and in a similar way. I got kind of squeezed onto a corporate path in order to pay off loans and due to where I lived, and then all my contacts were there, and I didn't pivot out of it when it would have been easier, and now I'm mid-40s and it is what it is.

My goal is for my kid to graduate from college without loans so that she can make this decision more freely. If she winds up on a corporate path, so be it, but I don't want her in the position I was in, where I literally turned down great opportunities that were lower paying because I was stressed about paying off my loans and felt my income had to be over a certain level. Now friends who went down those other paths make perfectly good livings. But for me it would have meant barely getting by to make the loans work.

Though today there are more options for loan forgiveness if you go into helping professions. So maybe now I wouldn't have had to make those choices. Back then those options didn't exist and I didn't know they would eventually, so I took a higher paying job to get rid of my loans faster. Oh well.

When I was "young" (1990s), I daydreamed about a career in the music industry... A&R, "album" (LOL) promotions, road manager and/or band roadie. In my 20s, I took a 9-month break from working after a lay-off, took college classes in music industry and broadcasting, DJ'd at a college radio station, volunteered in local concert events, and made a good number of local music industry contacts (enough so people knew of me from concerts or on the air). I could have landed an entry level job at a small record label or promotions company, at low pay, but I realized I couldn't deal with the huge Egos and BS I was surrounded by in my volunteer music fantasy world, vs the nice "corporate" folks I surrounded by in my former day jobs.

So I decided to stick to my day job in IT, but I found more "fun" employers in broadcasting and consumer products industries.

Now that I am a federal IT contractor, I yearn for the former fun jobs but I am so grateful I allowed myself to take almost a year off from working to pursue a passion. No regrets!

Swing for the Fences. Apply the big jobs even if not qualified and go for it.

Yes!! I have always been risk adverse and always done the responsible thing. Now I’m stuck in a low paying Fed job that is going nowhere. The only way for me to move up is to go into management, but people stay in their jobs for decades and I don’t see a management position opening up anytime soon. I come in every day and spend a good portion of my day looking for a new job.

Anonymous wrote:I used to. I would fantasize about the path not taken. Get angry at myself for making so many dumb/superficial decisions to make money, have stability, please others, even if it meant not being authentic to myself. I was pretty angry and regretful. What helped me? I just stopped thinking about it. You control your brain and you don’t have to believe your thoughts.

I stopped obsessing over my career and most other regrets that I have about my youth being wasted on the younger version of me.

I go to work. I give 85% effort most days. I’m a good employee. I started using all that free time in my head to think about what I wanted from life. I started hobbies and found a few that stuck after about three years of exploration and trial/error. I’m still in the same job but I never think about this anymore. And I’m a lot happier.

I’ve been there. You’ll end up regretting this regret in 10 years when you’re 60 and wishing you could do 50 over

Super well said and I will remember this comment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. I would have gone to med school.

Same. I truly think I would have been a caring and intelligent doctor. I hate that I went for a stupid PhD with 0 impact on the real world.

Same!!! I'm the PP you're responding to. Also got a stupid PhD.

Anonymous wrote:Yup. I would have gone to med school.

Same. I truly think I would have been a caring and intelligent doctor. I hate that I went for a stupid PhD with 0 impact on the real world.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - how many more years are you planning on working? Why can’t you pivot? Shave things up? There’s a whole lot of room between staying in same job / position and 180 degree upheaval of your career.

All or nothing thinking?

I have another 15-20 at this point. The salary is great and makes a lot of the good stuff in life possible. I do think I’ve peaked out as I don’t see any significant promotions headed my way. I produce, I plan, I collaborate but I’m not on tracked to be tapped for a lead role. I could make this work for the remainder of my career by continuing to be useful and not pissing off the wrong people.

I may just need to pursue my real passions as a side hobby if I want to continue paring my 401k.

I think it's normal to think about the path not taken, but if your life is pretty comfortable now, there is no reason to play the "shoulda woulda coulda" game.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would it mean I get to be young again? Sign me up.

Sure, I'd love to redo almost all of my career. I've worked for 8 employers in the four decades (yikes!) since I graduated from college. Four of those employers went out of business and I never really progressed in the others. If I did it all over again, I might figure out how to make $100k, which would be nice.

I'm not sure if I'm bad at picking jobs or just not a very good worker, so things might be worse in a do-over.

Oh gosh me, too - though I wouldn't want to be young again. I'm 50 and I feel like I fought hard to get here. To have to start all over again - please no!

+1 I'm 53, plan to retire at 56. I'm so glad to be done.

I don't think I'd redo my whole career. It's paid me well enough that I can retire soon. I was good at it, and for the most part, it wasn't too boring. Of course, there were boring aspects to it, like right now (which is why I'm posting on here )

Yes, I’m having the same thoughts, though a bit younger at 38. I’ve had a very successful career in the nonprofit space and actually make a great living compared to many others. I had wanted to do something a little different when I graduated and ended up on the admin track to nonprofit leadership along the way. I am considering going back to get my MSW and become a LCSW/therapist.

Yup. I would have gone to med school.

I made millions in corporate. It is great if you Try most do not.

I used to. I would fantasize about the path not taken. Get angry at myself for making so many dumb/superficial decisions to make money, have stability, please others, even if it meant not being authentic to myself. I was pretty angry and regretful. What helped me? I just stopped thinking about it. You control your brain and you don’t have to believe your thoughts.

I stopped obsessing over my career and most other regrets that I have about my youth being wasted on the younger version of me.

I go to work. I give 85% effort most days. I’m a good employee. I started using all that free time in my head to think about what I wanted from life. I started hobbies and found a few that stuck after about three years of exploration and trial/error. I’m still in the same job but I never think about this anymore. And I’m a lot happier.

I’ve been there. You’ll end up regretting this regret in 10 years when you’re 60 and wishing you could do 50 over

Anonymous wrote:OP - how many more years are you planning on working? Why can’t you pivot? Shave things up? There’s a whole lot of room between staying in same job / position and 180 degree upheaval of your career.

All or nothing thinking?

I have another 15-20 at this point. The salary is great and makes a lot of the good stuff in life possible. I do think I’ve peaked out as I don’t see any significant promotions headed my way. I produce, I plan, I collaborate but I’m not on tracked to be tapped for a lead role. I could make this work for the remainder of my career by continuing to be useful and not pissing off the wrong people.

I may just need to pursue my real passions as a side hobby if I want to continue paring my 401k.

OP - how many more years are you planning on working? Why can’t you pivot? Shave things up? There’s a whole lot of room between staying in same job / position and 180 degree upheaval of your career.

All or nothing thinking?