I would just take the best embryo. So many stupid things you are worried about. Which room blah blah. Spacing blah blah. Who’s going to get along with whom?

You are doing IVF. You can afford and figure out room arrangements later. It will all be fine. So many people grow up with less.

You have no idea what the future holds. It is not just about childhood, your kids will grow to adulthood and everything changes.

Grow your family as best you can. You will figure all the rest out.

You take whatever the good lord gives you. And you are grateful. And I'm not even religious.

(op, your "ideal" spacing comment was a little hard to take)

I think if you have to go through the rigor of IVF you should use whatever options are available to you, bearing in mind you don’t know what those options will even be yet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex selection is outlawed nearly everywhere except the United States for ethical reasons. If you don’t see this as an ethical conundrum, that says enough about you (and the unfortunate offspring you’re creating).

No it’s not outlawed “nearly everywhere.”

https://slate.com/technology/2024/05/ivf-daughters-toxic-masculinity-sex-selection.html

Anonymous wrote:Sex selection is outlawed nearly everywhere except the United States for ethical reasons. If you don’t see this as an ethical conundrum, that says enough about you (and the unfortunate offspring you’re creating).

No it’s not outlawed “nearly everywhere.”

Sex selection is outlawed nearly everywhere except the United States for ethical reasons. If you don’t see this as an ethical conundrum, that says enough about you (and the unfortunate offspring you’re creating).

Anonymous wrote:I say if you know your heart will sink when you find out it's a boy, go for it. Like others said you may not really get a choice anyways.

OP here. No, definitely would be joyfully happy with a boy, no heart sinking.

This thread has been really helpful. I’m leaning strongly towards just not even finding out the gender.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This should also be in infertility.

OP here. I thought about that, but people on the infertility board do not want to hear about me and possibly having so many children I don’t have a place to put all of them.

Someone without children on third round of IVF and what stood out to me is that you're at the stage where you are feeling that you're going to end up super successful - sadly its not a cake walk if you're at this point

I say if you know your heart will sink when you find out it's a boy, go for it. Like others said you may not really get a choice anyways.

Anonymous wrote:This should also be in infertility.

OP here. I thought about that, but people on the infertility board do not want to hear about me and possibly having so many children I don’t have a place to put all of them.

I don't think it's appropriate to decide the entirety of a future childs life based on... sharing a room.

What a dumb reason. I hope you never tell your future child "I picked you to be a girl because we didn't want to adjust our lives too much - you fit right in the corner of your sisters room!"

Whether or not kids get along is SO highly dependent on personality and not sex/gender or age gap.

I would go with the healthiest embryo and put this out of your mind.

This should also be in infertility.

Adding I am in IVF which I am against period. I think you're having natural thoughts. Honestly, if you haven't had an egg retrieval odds aren't that great for getting multiple viable embryos so this may not even be an option. So much appears to be in your control but its not. Just go with your gut.

You cannot engineer everything. Ask your RE to transfer the one that has the best possible chance of making it.