Learned this the hard way. Not necessarily how hard you work, but how well you work with others. I felt the same way (always the bridesmaid), thinking that working hard would get me ahead and awarded. NOPE, and my position wasn't secured by being "in". Making connections is how you get the promotions and rewards in any org.

Oh, I love that thread
OP, I can relate to a degree, I understand what you're talking about, and could see myself in your shoes.
So, let me try
The way I see it - your boss gave you excellent advice about team building task. It's the essence of the project manager role - be able to lead without being a supervisor, get something accomplished herding cats. Treat is a project - you know the steps already, so apply your PM skills to this project - boss would be project owner/customer, the rest of the roles are probably yours, some execution might be delegated to admin (if you have one). I'd call it fun exercise to get some creativity/problem solving/imagination going. See how you like it. Innovation in my mind is just about that - problem solving approach, use whatever framework you prefer to execute something new. And your PMs skills should be right up the alley on this pass.
As for priorities and always missing out - same thing, try using problem-solving approach. Identify the problem (unclear priorities), missing pieces to solve (department goals? overall project timeline? something else that helps you get there), create a plan. Again, PM shouldn't have a problem to treat his time as a resource on the project to spend his time on most impactful tasks at any given time. Your question to boss would be more specific - you've done your homework, know overall priorities, and reach out to clarify conflicts you might encounter rather than ask boss to that work for you.
PS it's never too late to get a mentor. Make sure you have an open mind to listen. And treat professional growth as a project too, you have skills, use them creatively

Anonymous wrote:School doesn't make you a creative, driven person.

You got into college because you were smart and good at following directions, and that's what you've done in your career.

Why do you think you aren't enough? Because your wife is a more lucrative career? Would your wife be not enough if you were more successful than she?
Would you feel more accomplished if you happened to work in an industry with more money sloshing around?

Yes smart and following directions; I would probably have enjoyed the clarity of the military though I have medical disqualifications anyways.

My DW doesn’t like her job, so yes advancing my career and more importantly compensation is what I’m looking at - and part of that is tied to my general blah career advancement.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a boss? Or a group of people like that? Could you ask them to get more involved and give you more feedback? Turns out a lot of people love it when someone voluntarily asks for their coaching, provided you're not demanding huge chunks of their time.

I ask my boss. He is a bit of a workaholic so it is dangerous to draw too much of his attention.

I ask him about prioritizing which tasks; his answer is you are a professional and you should just know. He also recommends I foster team building in my team, but I’m a project manager not their supervisor so it’s a little unclear what more I can do than the enthusiastic lead by example, process improvement mindset I already bring to the team. I’m bit even sure if they would consider me the leader of the team; I’m more the customer of the work being done as I head the project.

School doesn't make you a creative, driven person.

You got into college because you were smart and good at following directions, and that's what you've done in your career.

Why do you think you aren't enough? Because your wife is a more lucrative career? Would your wife be not enough if you were more successful than she?
Would you feel more accomplished if you happened to work in an industry with more money sloshing around?

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a boss? Or a group of people like that? Could you ask them to get more involved and give you more feedback? Turns out a lot of people love it when someone voluntarily asks for their coaching, provided you're not demanding huge chunks of their time.

This is true. Try it. Might take more than one ask, but try it. If nothing else, you can get some perspective on where you are. You sound like you're doing fine but want more. That's a good position to be in.

I would move on from thinking about school and comparing your achievements in school to work and I don't think I'd bring up this comparison with a potential mentor. Work and school are different things.

Also, observe some people at your work, whom you also respect, who have gone far. What do you think they have that you need to improve?

Do you have a boss? Or a group of people like that? Could you ask them to get more involved and give you more feedback? Turns out a lot of people love it when someone voluntarily asks for their coaching, provided you're not demanding huge chunks of their time.

How much do you make and how many hours a week do you work?

Anonymous wrote:No one says T10 in their 40s.

Okay? I get tired of saying Ivy League or whatever. My point is I was good at school but useless in real life and I want to fix that I should have gone academia but I needed to earn money for my family and more school wasn’t in the cards.

No one says T10 in their 40s.