“Hi, I took Sara to ice skating on Wed but she didn’t have the $30 for admission/rental so I loaned it to her. My Venmo is Xxx when you get a chance.”

i feel confident the $ wouldn’t be an issue to my kid’s friends’ families. If I were worried the families might not be able to afford it I would eat the cost and talk with dd about how to do this in the future.

As a parent I would always ask my kid ahead of time what it was going to cost, make sure they had money with them, etc. If they came home from somewhere and it was obvious that the other parent had paid--and it wasn't for a birthday celebration or similar where you would expect the other kid's parents to pay--I would probably reach out to the other parent to reimburse or make my kid do it. But as a parent in your situation, I probably wouldn't ask for reimbursement. But nor would I be offended if someone reached out to me asking for reimbursement, unless I knew that they were wealthy and could well afford it, in which case it looks a bit cheap.

Among my DD’s circle, it’s normal to ask for for friends to pay you back. As a parent, I would not do it. But my kid would collect the $30 from her friends.

Maybe that’s not the norm with others, but no one expects others to pay for them.

I have a 13 YO (and a 16 YO)
If I am volunteering to drive for an activity that the kids planned, I am not expecting to pay.
If someone drove my kid to something, I absolutely asking my kid who is paying, do you have $ etc.
I think you need to do 2 things:
1 - send a text to the parents for getting reimbursed
2 - talk to your child about expectations for activities. If your child reassured you that it was clear - and it wasn't - you need to discuss how to communicate more effectively.

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, DD13 and two of her friends, amongst themselves, planned a little outing/activity, but they needed someone to drive them. I agreed to pick them all up from school and take them, but I asked DD to let them know they needed money. It was $30 a person. She assured me she told them and they would have money. When we got there, neither of the girls had any money, so I ended up paying. Yes, it was only $30 a girl, but that came to $90 out of my pocket. I can’t think of a tactful way to ask the parents for the money. Should I just cut my losses or do you have any ideas?

What happened there exactly? Did they lie to your DD? Is your DD lying? Was it an honest mistake (made by 2 different girls )? If not, were they trying to take advantage of your DD?

I'd get to the bottom of that before I proceeded. But- you don't need to eat this. Shame on the parents for allowing them to go this activity without money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, you need to eat that.

+1. Lesson learned.

+2

And have a chat with your daughter about it.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bat an eyelash about a text asking for reimbursement in this situation.

This is what I would expect too. It's happened a few times, and is completely fine with my daughter's friend group.

I don't understand why you agreed to pay, just say no and have them do something free. Where my son attends school, many of his friends' parents could not pay back that amount, so I would not pay for them unless I was ok with not being reimbursed.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bat an eyelash about a text asking for reimbursement in this situation.

+1. I’m the pp who says live and learn, but I’d also not think twice about someone asking for reimbursement (and I’d be horrified my dd didn’t ask me for the money ahead of time. I typically send them with money and sometimes they say the friend’s parents pay, sometimes they pay their own way.)

Just to be clear, you aren’t charging them for the drive right? Just the activity?

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, you need to eat that.

+1 live and learn. Next time don’t offer to drive and give your child money so she doesn’t do that to someone else.

Give your Venmo to your daughter and have her contact her friends to have their parents send money.

I think it’s weird that so many comments here tell you to pay.

I would 'charge' it to DD. She owes you $60. She gave you her word that they were bringing their money. She can get it back from the girls or work it off / pay it from her own money. Good age to start learning financial responsibility

Why not ask your kid to have her friends pay her back rather than you asking?

I would not have agreed to pay for them in the first place under those circumstances.
"Oh, DD said you would have money to cover the cost. Doesn't look like this will work out for today, then, but you are welcome to come hang out at our place for a bit."