Anonymous wrote:Take charge of your own life.

What does that mean? Propose to him.

1 year. You don’t have time to lose.

I don’t think it is just randomly waiting. You should discuss the future and children. If he loves you, he will want to have healthy babies soon. If he doesn’t want children and cares for you, he should let you go so you can find someone who has the same goals while your eggs are still good.

Anonymous wrote:0 days. If you are 35 and want marriage and kids you should have discussed that in the first 3-5 dates. Not necessarily whether he saw a future with you, but if that’s where he sees his future. At 3-6 months you should discuss if it’s in the future for the two of you. If it is, he needs to propose before your 36th birthday or your 1 year anniversary. Which ever is first.

If you break up with him, you need to freeze your eggs before you are 37, while you date.

- this is advice from a person married at 33.5, who had kids through IVF at 36.5 and almost 39.

0 days. If you are 35 and want marriage and kids you should have discussed that in the first 3-5 dates. Not necessarily whether he saw a future with you, but if that’s where he sees his future. At 3-6 months you should discuss if it’s in the future for the two of you. If it is, he needs to propose before your 36th birthday or your 1 year anniversary. Which ever is first.

If you break up with him, you need to freeze your eggs before you are 37, while you date.

I discussed my timeline to have kids early on in the relationship- basically I want to start trying for kids by this age and if you don’t feel that’s realistic or something you want, let me know ASAP. We tried having kids before we got married because he was wasn’t ready for marriage and I only really cared about having a long term partnership with kids. But he quickly proposed as children became a reality. At 35 you have to be clear about your timeline especially as a woman. In hindsight I probably should have been with someone from the get go who wanted marriage but I was older, fell in love and let a lot of stuff slide. We are happy though with an incredible daughter and another on the way.

Anonymous wrote:A man who makes the decision to date a never married no kids woman in her 30s MUST know that the woman is now onto goal #2 ie marriage and kids. Goal # 1 career has probably been fulfilled.

Look, there are a substantial number of women who are surprised to find out that their biological clock has run out. Plenty of men are going to be blind to this.

OP, use your words. It's good practice for the rest of married life.

Anonymous wrote:Stop "waiting" and have a conversation. If you're both in your 30s and have been together for a year or more, he either wants to marry you or he doesn't.

This, but I think this conversation should be had at 6 months. Not a year. A year is for 28-33 or so. After that, it should be faster.

At 35, you should be discussing if marriage and kids are your goals on your first date. If someone does not want the same, you don't even go on a second date.

He knows your clock is ticking so let the alarm go off. Tell him how you feel. If he procrastinates, move on.

At 15? No more than 10 years. At 25? No more than 2 years. At 35? No more than 1 year. At 45? Live your life, don't bother with marriage.

Anonymous wrote:Can you discuss with them?

This^.

I think talking to him vaguely about the future, where he sees your relationship is a good idea, but no way should you flag out propose. If a man doesn’t love you enough to be highly motivated to marry you, he isn’t that into you. If he doesn’t propose after a year, move on

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just put it out there and see where you stand. My now husband very quickly proposed once I dropped a hint that I needed to move on with my life and start dating marriage-minded men (like, within days).

See that's the problem I am not saying that will be your case down the line, but these kind of pressure that men feel are just the beginning. 10 years into the marriage it will be another issue ngain another deadline will be given again. It will be another aspect of the relationship that he is failing to fulfill to the woman's satisfaction.

It is not reasonable for a man to not recognize a 35 yo woman has limited years ahead of her to have children and dither around with her fertility. He’s not required to marry her. Then let her move on. That’s not “pressure” it is adulting.

Stop "waiting" and have a conversation. If you're both in your 30s and have been together for a year or more, he either wants to marry you or he doesn't.

Good lord, just talk to him.