Most people just bring a bottle of wine.

I hate hostess gifts. I mean I know people are being kind but really. Don't bring anything! I invited you over. I do not need a candle.

DCUM people are crazy. You do not need to bring a gift. You should not bring a gift. You'll be the odd one out and the weirdo if you do.

If I know the person, I often bring something like a candle (mint or lemon, not strong scents), a small pack of blank cards form a local shop, homemade muffins for the next day, or a jar of jam or honey from the local farmer’s market.
Zingerman’s in Ann Arbor has great gourmet food and they have big sale on balsamic vinegar every January. I stock up on the 16 year variety. For a house warming, I like to bring a bottle of balsamic and a gift card for a local bakery so they can pick up a fresh loaf of bread when it’s convenient for them.

If I did not know the person at all, I would check social media to see if there were pictures of the inside of their home. My husband is an avid indoor and outdoor gardener, so sometimes we bring people a small potted succulent or low light plant in a neutral pot. If that seems gauche for the setting, I would arrange to have flowers delivered the following day.

My favorite Hostess gifts:

Twinkies
Ding Dongs

They are always appreciated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for these suggestions! Not knowing the hosts at all makes it hard. But I'm going to a gift shop and look there. I love the napkins and peach balsamic. I would love to do the truffle box with little labels, but I always worry about candy.

I love getting fancy soap, but I've heard mixed reviews on doing that. Yes? Or no?

"Fancy soap"? No. People like to choose their own soap, and it is highly unlikely that they would choose soap you consider "fancy." No, no, no.

I’d love fancy soaps. I love scented soaps but not bath and body works. Something from neiman Marcus fancy. I also like fancy fig basalmic vinegar and fancy olive oils. Fancy Neuhaus or laderac chocolate truffles. Scented candles. Wood wick candles that flicker.

You don’t have to bring anything but it’s classy.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the part that is throwing me is that it's a birthday dinner for a close friend of host's. I would normally take a hostess gift and a birthday gift. However the invitation sent by the parent of the birthday person said, Please no gifts. So it feels weird to not bring a gift for the honoree, but do bring a gift for the host.

That is what is throwing me.

Oh I would still bring a gift for the birthday boy/girl and the hostess. That’s just manners.

Anonymous wrote:Even though it’s no bday gifts l would still bring a card for the person whose bday it is, and a small token for the hostess - something consumable and unwrapped

Ah, this seems the perfect solution. Thank you.

Even though it’s no bday gifts l would still bring a card for the person whose bday it is, and a small token for the hostess - something consumable and unwrapped

OP here. I think the part that is throwing me is that it's a birthday dinner for a close friend of host's. I would normally take a hostess gift and a birthday gift. However the invitation sent by the parent of the birthday person said, Please no gifts. So it feels weird to not bring a gift for the honoree, but do bring a gift for the host.

That is what is throwing me.

I would kill for a Hostess cupcake right now.

Sending flowers the day ahead is very classy and always well received

Chocolates, macarons, or another small dessert item with a handwritten card thanking them for hosting the event would also be nice

I completely disagree with everyone saying not to bring anything - these people are hosting you in their home, and it is the thought that counts. Don't show up empty handed!

Anonymous wrote:Seasonal beverage napkins from a shi-shi boutique. They love that that in my circles. Peach balsamic. fancy Marmalade. fancy chocolates. Fancy wine bottle stopper. Just one simple thing. It's a token.
And disregard the others, you do need to bring something.

+1

Proper etiquette is you bring a hostess gift. I think the seasonal beverage napkins would be a lovely gift.

In this case, I would send a handwritten note after the party. You could also send something thoughtful as a thank you after the party if you happen to learn something about them during the party or get into a conversation about something.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for these suggestions! Not knowing the hosts at all makes it hard. But I'm going to a gift shop and look there. I love the napkins and peach balsamic. I would love to do the truffle box with little labels, but I always worry about candy.

I love getting fancy soap, but I've heard mixed reviews on doing that. Yes? Or no?

Don’t bring any of the suggestions on this thread. I wouldn’t even send flowers before or after. They specifically asked for no gifts. I don’t want candy, napkins, olive oil or fancy soap etc.