Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:51     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Anonymous wrote:Am I understanding this correctly?

You walk slow for MIL?

they want to hike but MIL points to you and says we can’t because ( op) is too slow?


Yes, that is what OP is saying.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:38     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
I'm betting MIL is thin and equates that with health, and OP is not thin and MIL, who grew up in an era of "Can never be too rich or too thin" looks down on her.

"Hey, I'd love to go for a hike, and I'm laughing because I thought I was slowing down for Madge's sake and it turns out she was slowing down for mine. Next time, we're going to race each other!"
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:13     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t really sound disparaging. More so that they wanted to plan an activity everyone could comfortably do and they were being considerate.


+1. It was not a disparaging comment. It was a considerate comment, even if unfounded. View it that way.
And reply all that you would be totally up to try a hike (assuming you are)
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 07:40     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Anonymous wrote:Just reply all and say you'd love to try a hike


This. Don't take it personally. Seriously, she should be mortified, not you. She made the social misstep and the others see (or should see) that.

Don't worry about it and be forgiving of her stupidity and social faux pas.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 07:35     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Anonymous wrote:The old lady was saying she was scared she couldn’t do it, but wasn’t willing to admit it so she threw you under the bus. Everyone will know this.

Just keep going and stop walking with the old lady. Someone else can take a turn now; you have done your time.


+1
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 07:33     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Anonymous wrote:Get over yourself.


Found the MIL. No need to be rude.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 07:30     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Anonymous wrote:
I’m in a walking group with a bunch of women. The ages vary from mid-30s to one woman in her 70s, who is the organizer’s MIL. The MIL is high-maintenance, but everyone is willing to adjust sorry and take breaks for her.

I am in my 40s and this is a nice break from my kid’s teenage drama.

The organizer inadvertently forwarded an email to the entire group from her MIL asking to try a hike, but expressing concern whether I could keep up. I feel I have to walk slower for the lady who is complaining about me. When I walk alone, I go much faster, but I enjoy the companionship of the other women.

I know the email was only forwarded to the group because the organizer’s MIL had attached a map of the hike.

I know I am taking this personally, but how do I not take this personally? I’m worried this will affect how the other women see me. So far, I haven’t said anything to anyone except my husband.

Any tips on handling this?


Next walk I would walk super fast and not chat with the complainer
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 07:03     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
“Disparaging comments” is a bit dramatic.

OP, are you insecure about your hiking? Appear out of shape?
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 06:58     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Am I understanding this correctly?

You walk slow for MIL?

they want to hike but MIL points to you and says we can’t because ( op) is too slow?
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 06:55     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Anonymous wrote:I would reply yes to the hike, and stop being nice to the MIL and just keep your faster pace from now on when you walk. No slowing down for her any more.


This is the way
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 06:51     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Find out a way to put pebbles in her shoes. That’ll show her.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 05:48     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Were you being considerate of mil in question and keeping her company at the back? If so I guess no good deed goes unpunished.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2024 20:38     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Anonymous wrote:I would reply yes to the hike, and stop being nice to the MIL and just keep your faster pace from now on when you walk. No slowing down for her any more.


This. Just be pleasant and detached. Enjoy the hike! Maybe bring mini kind bars to share, typically a hit with hikers.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2024 20:32     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
Get over yourself.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2024 20:30     Subject: How to handle disparaging comments about me?
I would reply yes to the hike, and stop being nice to the MIL and just keep your faster pace from now on when you walk. No slowing down for her any more.