Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:24     Subject: Re:MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:BIL does have young children and relies on his in laws for daycare. We have never relied on them for daycare or financial support. As a result there is always a lot we don’t know.


You've never given MIL money.
You've never relied on her for anything.
You don't know a lot about her life.

Why do you care?


Because it’s my husband’s mother and he cares about her, so I care, too. Just not so much that I’m willing to cover her expenses.


So tell spouse that.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:23     Subject: MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, did your BIL encourage this turn of events? Did he actively encourage his mother to move in with them? Seems strange. Must be more to the story.


I don’t know. When spouse told me about this, I did encourage him to call his brother and ask for his side of the story. Something is off.


Why do you keep saying spouse?


I’m married. I’m referring to my spouse’s mother and stepfather. HTH.


Just say husband.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:16     Subject: Re:MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:BIL does have young children and relies on his in laws for daycare. We have never relied on them for daycare or financial support. As a result there is always a lot we don’t know.


You've never given MIL money.
You've never relied on her for anything.
You don't know a lot about her life.

Why do you care?


Because it’s my husband’s mother and he cares about her, so I care, too. Just not so much that I’m willing to cover her expenses.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:15     Subject: MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What’s the issue? They are free to divorce. He isn’t your DH’s father.

+1


OP here-

I am concerned because she has a history of begging spouse for money. He’s only ever paid for a few restaurant meals and shared travel expenses a few times before but she is always asking both of us every time we see her.


Ha! This would have been something to include in your OP. You made it seem like your concern was for step-FIL. Clearly, it is not.

Your fear is that your MIL will move in with your BIL and continue to ask you for money? Something that you say you have a long history of successfully handling without issue?

Absurd.


No, I’m annoyed, not afraid. The last time I saw SFIL, he told me he had bought a house with cash for them to live in. So…..not seeing the problem here.


Why are you annoyed? How does it affect you?
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:15     Subject: MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, did your BIL encourage this turn of events? Did he actively encourage his mother to move in with them? Seems strange. Must be more to the story.


I don’t know. When spouse told me about this, I did encourage him to call his brother and ask for his side of the story. Something is off.


Why do you keep saying spouse?


I’m married. I’m referring to my spouse’s mother and stepfather. HTH.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:14     Subject: Re:MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:BIL does have young children and relies on his in laws for daycare. We have never relied on them for daycare or financial support. As a result there is always a lot we don’t know.


You've never given MIL money.
You've never relied on her for anything.
You don't know a lot about her life.

Why do you care?
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:14     Subject: MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What’s the issue? They are free to divorce. He isn’t your DH’s father.

+1


OP here-

I am concerned because she has a history of begging spouse for money. He’s only ever paid for a few restaurant meals and shared travel expenses a few times before but she is always asking both of us every time we see her.


Ha! This would have been something to include in your OP. You made it seem like your concern was for step-FIL. Clearly, it is not.

Your fear is that your MIL will move in with your BIL and continue to ask you for money? Something that you say you have a long history of successfully handling without issue?

Absurd.


No, I’m annoyed, not afraid. The last time I saw SFIL, he told me he had bought a house with cash for them to live in. So…..not seeing the problem here.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:12     Subject: Re:MIL announced she is filing for divorce
BIL does have young children and relies on his in laws for daycare. We have never relied on them for daycare or financial support. As a result there is always a lot we don’t know.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:11     Subject: MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What’s the issue? They are free to divorce. He isn’t your DH’s father.

+1


OP here-

I am concerned because she has a history of begging spouse for money. He’s only ever paid for a few restaurant meals and shared travel expenses a few times before but she is always asking both of us every time we see her.


Ha! This would have been something to include in your OP. You made it seem like your concern was for step-FIL. Clearly, it is not.

Your fear is that your MIL will move in with your BIL and continue to ask you for money? Something that you say you have a long history of successfully handling without issue?

Absurd.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:10     Subject: MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, did your BIL encourage this turn of events? Did he actively encourage his mother to move in with them? Seems strange. Must be more to the story.


I don’t know. When spouse told me about this, I did encourage him to call his brother and ask for his side of the story. Something is off.


Why do you keep saying spouse?
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:09     Subject: MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:OP, did your BIL encourage this turn of events? Did he actively encourage his mother to move in with them? Seems strange. Must be more to the story.


I don’t know. When spouse told me about this, I did encourage him to call his brother and ask for his side of the story. Something is off.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:06     Subject: MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What’s the issue? They are free to divorce. He isn’t your DH’s father.

+1


OP here-

I am concerned because she has a history of begging spouse for money. He’s only ever paid for a few restaurant meals and shared travel expenses a few times before but she is always asking both of us every time we see her.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 06:07     Subject: Re:MIL announced she is filing for divorce
OP, the way you have framed this is really odd, with the "she announced." You clearly have other issues with your MIL.

As another poster mentioned, there could many reasons for this, and many things you don't know. If you want to spend time thinking about this, maybe approach it from a place of concern for everybody involved.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 06:01     Subject: MIL announced she is filing for divorce
Anonymous wrote:Offer to let the father live with you.


Lol
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 05:57     Subject: MIL announced she is filing for divorce
OP, did your BIL encourage this turn of events? Did he actively encourage his mother to move in with them? Seems strange. Must be more to the story.