Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP what constitutes abuse under the law? Is there a place where I can read more. I was not able to find much detail. Just that if a child witnesses abuse it can be reportable.

Will look into what my state requires, not DC. I would not discuss with my therapist but at the same time it could be helpful to have this documented for custody proceedings. It’s a catch-22.

That will NOT impact custody proceedings. Even my ex leaving preschoolers alone in DC did not change 50/50 and CPS was involved bc a neighbor of ex called.

OP, you need to read up on how zealous family courts are to find "parental alienation." Be very careful you don't end up with minimal visitation yourself.

OP why would I end up with minimal visitation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My concern is if therapist reports as a mandate d reporter.

Then CPS calls and agree with all of you, does not do anything in this case as they have much more severe cases

But they still call.

And that would significantly escalate my situation with my spouse without actually helping address it in any way.

I am still stuck for now just with an even angrier human being who has the perfect pretext to explode because maintaining an immaculate image is what they do in public.

OP this is par for the course. You are correct that attracting negative attention without leaving will escalate the danger. Once you decide to break the glass you have to be ready to leave at the same time.

This takes preparation. You need a pile of money or people who will loan you some; a place to stay (preferably of your own but can be with friend or family) that is furnished, a job or a plan to get one soon, and a school / childcare plan for the kids.

Document everything you can against the kids and yourself if there is objective evidence like bruises you can photograph, or witnesses who can testify. Verbal abuse is he said/she said and no one will care. Once you are divorcing the law only cares about child abuse not spousal abuse, unless there if physical evidence.

Obviously there is nothing going on here if the worst examples are: grabbing an object and name calling.

OP Theres pushing too in front of our kids. Behind closed doors there is more.

Anonymous wrote:Yes OP you need a lawyer. It's not a good idea to use a mandated reporter to "document" later for court if you fear the risk they are overzealous will call CPS. Documentation can be keeping your own diary or calling a friend as a witness. Or maybe the lawyer will tell you not to bother because that behavior won't effect custody. You need a good plan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP what constitutes abuse under the law? Is there a place where I can read more. I was not able to find much detail. Just that if a child witnesses abuse it can be reportable.

Will look into what my state requires, not DC. I would not discuss with my therapist but at the same time it could be helpful to have this documented for custody proceedings. It’s a catch-22.

That will NOT impact custody proceedings. Even my ex leaving preschoolers alone in DC did not change 50/50 and CPS was involved bc a neighbor of ex called.

OP, you need to read up on how zealous family courts are to find "parental alienation." Be very careful you don't end up with minimal visitation yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My concern is if therapist reports as a mandate d reporter.

Then CPS calls and agree with all of you, does not do anything in this case as they have much more severe cases

But they still call.

And that would significantly escalate my situation with my spouse without actually helping address it in any way.

I am still stuck for now just with an even angrier human being who has the perfect pretext to explode because maintaining an immaculate image is what they do in public.

OP this is par for the course. You are correct that attracting negative attention without leaving will escalate the danger. Once you decide to break the glass you have to be ready to leave at the same time.

This takes preparation. You need a pile of money or people who will loan you some; a place to stay (preferably of your own but can be with friend or family) that is furnished, a job or a plan to get one soon, and a school / childcare plan for the kids.

Document everything you can against the kids and yourself if there is objective evidence like bruises you can photograph, or witnesses who can testify. Verbal abuse is he said/she said and no one will care. Once you are divorcing the law only cares about child abuse not spousal abuse, unless there if physical evidence.

Obviously there is nothing going on here if the worst examples are: grabbing an object and name calling.

Anonymous wrote:OP what constitutes abuse under the law? Is there a place where I can read more. I was not able to find much detail. Just that if a child witnesses abuse it can be reportable.

Will look into what my state requires, not DC. I would not discuss with my therapist but at the same time it could be helpful to have this documented for custody proceedings. It’s a catch-22.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My concern is if therapist reports as a mandate d reporter.

Then CPS calls and agree with all of you, does not do anything in this case as they have much more severe cases

But they still call.

And that would significantly escalate my situation with my spouse without actually helping address it in any way.

I am still stuck for now just with an even angrier human being who has the perfect pretext to explode because maintaining an immaculate image is what they do in public.

OP this is par for the course. You are correct that attracting negative attention without leaving will escalate the danger. Once you decide to break the glass you have to be ready to leave at the same time.

This takes preparation. You need a pile of money or people who will loan you some; a place to stay (preferably of your own but can be with friend or family) that is furnished, a job or a plan to get one soon, and a school / childcare plan for the kids.

Document everything you can against the kids and yourself if there is objective evidence like bruises you can photograph, or witnesses who can testify. Verbal abuse is he said/she said and no one will care. Once you are divorcing the law only cares about child abuse not spousal abuse, unless there if physical evidence.

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My concern is if therapist reports as a mandate d reporter.

Then CPS calls and agree with all of you, does not do anything in this case as they have much more severe cases

But they still call.

And that would significantly escalate my situation with my spouse without actually helping address it in any way.

I am still stuck for now just with an even angrier human being who has the perfect pretext to explode because maintaining an immaculate image is what they do in public.

Anonymous wrote:OP

My spouse has been more violent behind closed doors but not in the presence of our children.

Last year however they have started also pushing me and calling me names in front of them.

Things are escalating.

Anonymous wrote:No. I have a student with an alcoholic mom who regularly throws stuff at walls, screams at dad, passes out on the floor. I’ve spoken to our school social worker many times about it. Since things aren’t being thrown AT the child, there is food in the fridge, and student has access to a bed and shower, CPS isn’t concerned—they have bigger fish to fry.

Anonymous wrote:Are the following reportable to CPS if done to a domestic partner in presence of child

- pushing / forcefully taking objects out of a spouse’s hands

- calling spouse names