I am always rather shocked at personal interactions between parents...especially ones that aren't great friends.

My kid is part of a carpool group for sports and the parents are friendly. One parent asked if their kid could join the carpool...but parent was never going to be able to drive.

The rest of us without blinking said no way. We didn't spend 10 seconds declining.

Now, we know this parent isn't sick or has any kind of emergency. We would of course help in that situation. However, having too many kids...well, too bad.

Of course, now that parent has to figure out a way to get their kid to and from practice all the time, so we all scratch our heads at the logic.

They're old enough that you can tell them to knock it off and have them listen. I would put one kid in the front seat and the other in the back, if need be (age and size of the kid dependent). IF the other kid is being rude/starting the arguments, feel free to tell the parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finish the year.

And don’t allow arguing in your car. Hand out snacks; play car games; put on music. You can stop the arguing. Feel free to treat the other kid like you would your own - no worse, but no better either.

These are tweens, not toddlers.

OP, tell them no arguing, and to shut up if need be. Finish the year, and don't begin again next year.

They aren’t as different as you think! Each of those strategies has worked for my tween boys.

That's kinda sad.

+1

My teen would be mortified if I suggested playing “car games” or offered donuts at the end of the ride to whoever could be the quietest.

I mean, my kid would love donuts after school. But they would DIE if it were some sort of incentive not to argue with a friend after school.

Many parents find that as kids get older, one of the few times kids talk to them is in a car. I would not want to trade that time to be in your situation unless you’re doing because other mom is your really close friend. If she’s not, talk to other parent so they have time to figure out other ride for kid.

Another take- agree if you keep giving rides it shows commitment lesson to your kid, but consider if it’s a better lesson to show kid they can remove themselves from bad friendship (if that’s what you determine this is). At school they will have to sit by certain kids and have no choice, but outside school they have choices. Ask son what he wants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finish the year.

And don’t allow arguing in your car. Hand out snacks; play car games; put on music. You can stop the arguing. Feel free to treat the other kid like you would your own - no worse, but no better either.

These are tweens, not toddlers.

OP, tell them no arguing, and to shut up if need be. Finish the year, and don't begin again next year.

They aren’t as different as you think! Each of those strategies has worked for my tween boys.

That's kinda sad.

+1

My teen would be mortified if I suggested playing “car games” or offered donuts at the end of the ride to whoever could be the quietest.

I'm trying to picture offering my kid some goldfish in the hopes that she and her friend would keep quiet when she was 12. It's actually hilarious to think about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finish the year.

And don’t allow arguing in your car. Hand out snacks; play car games; put on music. You can stop the arguing. Feel free to treat the other kid like you would your own - no worse, but no better either.

These are tweens, not toddlers.

OP, tell them no arguing, and to shut up if need be. Finish the year, and don't begin again next year.

They aren’t as different as you think! Each of those strategies has worked for my tween boys.

That's kinda sad.

+1

My teen would be mortified if I suggested playing “car games” or offered donuts at the end of the ride to whoever could be the quietest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finish the year.

And don’t allow arguing in your car. Hand out snacks; play car games; put on music. You can stop the arguing. Feel free to treat the other kid like you would your own - no worse, but no better either.

These are tweens, not toddlers.

OP, tell them no arguing, and to shut up if need be. Finish the year, and don't begin again next year.

They aren’t as different as you think! Each of those strategies has worked for my tween boys.

That's kinda sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a month. Keep giving the rides. We're probably only talking about 3-5 more rides?

But also, its your car. Tell them no arguing, no yelling, no fighting.

Tell them to knock it off

All this!

I’d also give the other parent a heads up that you’re fine with continuing the rides but you’re instructing the kids to stop squabbling, and if she could reinforce that message with Larlo, that would be great. (In case Larlo is the type who might not listen to you. He’ll listen to his parents who will realize the favor will end of their kid doesn’t knock it off.)

Rule- no arguing in the car

Teach your own child to behave properly. The other kid is essentially your guest while they're in the car. This sometimes requires turning the other cheek. You haven't said anything to indicate that your kid is exclusively in the Right.

Continue the rides. Help out the family. The kids bickering has nothing to do with this-- unless it's only the kid who is argumentative and rude?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finish the year.

And don’t allow arguing in your car. Hand out snacks; play car games; put on music. You can stop the arguing. Feel free to treat the other kid like you would your own - no worse, but no better either.

These are tweens, not toddlers.

OP, tell them no arguing, and to shut up if need be. Finish the year, and don't begin again next year.

They aren’t as different as you think! Each of those strategies has worked for my tween boys.

Anonymous wrote:I have a tween. Kid has a friend and parents asked if we could give kid a ride home 1x a week. It is near, not too inconvenient. The family has a lot of kids and a lot going on. They do not give my kid rides.

Now kid and friend go back and forth, sometimes they’re friends now it’s more that they argue. Kid is flip flopping, sometimes asks if we can stop giving kid ride, other times happy to share ride. It is very stressful for me to be in the car with the arguing.

Would you stop giving ride now, or push through another month to the end of school.

It says not great things, OP, that you have allowed this to continue so long that it causes you stress.

Anonymous wrote:It's a month. Keep giving the rides. We're probably only talking about 3-5 more rides?

But also, its your car. Tell them no arguing, no yelling, no fighting.

Tell them to knock it off

All this!

Anonymous wrote:It’s once a week, I would continue.
Tell your kid you hope that if you were in a bind you would appreciate someone doing the same for you. Kids don’t have to be besties to be helpful.

+1

But you’re almost at the end of the year, so finish it off. You need to establish rules so there’s no arguing in the car. They are both being rude and bratty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finish the year.

And don’t allow arguing in your car. Hand out snacks; play car games; put on music. You can stop the arguing. Feel free to treat the other kid like you would your own - no worse, but no better either.

These are tweens, not toddlers.

OP, tell them no arguing, and to shut up if need be. Finish the year, and don't begin again next year.

This. Tell them to shut it when they start arguing. It’s once a month and not that much longer.