Anonymous wrote:bring the card to the party, not to the service. i always write a check

This. We give $54 to my child’s acquaintances, $72 to close friends, and where my friends’ children have had them and my spouse and I attend, we give $252.

Thanks for all the very helpful feedback! I understand that it’s not about the money at all, but we can and are very happy to.
I’m worried my 13-year-old will forget to give the envelope or misplace it over the course of the reception. The last Bar Mitzvah we were at at Temple Sinai there was a table for cards at the service.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gifts are optional. It is not a gift grab but a rite of passage.

I would never attend and not give a gift. Tacky.

So it is a gift grab.

Apparently you going to a party is a food and drink and music grab.

I’ll tell mine they aren’t attending because just showing up to celebrate won’t be enough.