Anonymous wrote:I went to college 1500 miles from home, entering in the late 80s. My parents put me on a plane. I met other plane kids in the airport, and on the shuttle to campus. It truly was fine, a relief even.

I did the same, to a college in the Midwest. It was actually a pretty full shuttle too. But my roommate, who was from NY had both parents there so that made me feel kind of alone.

I can’t imagine not going.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to college 1500 miles from home, entering in the late 80s. My parents put me on a plane. I met other plane kids in the airport, and on the shuttle to campus. It truly was fine, a relief even.

I was a plane kid in the late 80s as well. I spoke with a student in the welcome club before I left, and he agreed to pick me up from the airport. He never showed up and I had to take a taxi to campus. What an aweful experience. It was great your school had a shuttle to campus. Maybe ours did too, just didn't know about it.

Omg I’m so sorry that happened to you! Did you ever see that kid again? (If it were me I’d still be hate-stalking him 35 years later)

There was a meetup with the group later in the week and he apologized but that stung. I had a few suitcases when I got on campus, the wrong side of campus of course. There was a nice guy who helped me with the luggage. Luckily everything worked out OK, but I promised if I ever had a kid who was going to college I'm going to accompany them no matter what.

In the 90's, I flew by myself to college about 1,000 miles away from home. I was fairly independent and didn't feel like my parents had neglected me at all. The support stuff that people above are talking about is largely traditional/symbolic. It's a nice rite of passage, but few kids literally need help going to Target, etc. You might reasonably decide that the $1,000 is better spent on things like flying your child home for Thanksgiving, buying a new laptop, etc. Anyhow, I'm not trying to push one path over another. I see the emotional value in literally taking your son to college. But I think it's a little more nuanced than some are making it out to be.

OP, if you really can’t manage the cost, then help kid in advance as much as possible, and they’ll be ok. But if you can swing it all, even if you never go again until graduation, I think one parent at least should try to go with them to move in for freshman year.

Yes, we go and help move in and out. We have two out-of-state kids, and at least one of us flies there with them to help. We both go for Freshman year drop-off. My oldest is a junior and we didn't go this year because she really didn't need the help. We did go visit after a few weeks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to college 1500 miles from home, entering in the late 80s. My parents put me on a plane. I met other plane kids in the airport, and on the shuttle to campus. It truly was fine, a relief even.

I was a plane kid in the late 80s as well. I spoke with a student in the welcome club before I left, and he agreed to pick me up from the airport. He never showed up and I had to take a taxi to campus. What an aweful experience. It was great your school had a shuttle to campus. Maybe ours did too, just didn't know about it.

Omg I’m so sorry that happened to you! Did you ever see that kid again? (If it were me I’d still be hate-stalking him 35 years later)

Anonymous wrote:I went to college 1500 miles from home, entering in the late 80s. My parents put me on a plane. I met other plane kids in the airport, and on the shuttle to campus. It truly was fine, a relief even.

I was a plane kid in the late 80s as well. I spoke with a student in the welcome club before I left, and he agreed to pick me up from the airport. He never showed up and I had to take a taxi to campus. What an aweful experience. It was great your school had a shuttle to campus. Maybe ours did too, just didn't know about it.

I would accompany them as far as I'm allowed, OP, but that's just me

Paying for college far away also means having the means to accompany them.

Make it happen, OP. Start saving now.

I went to college 1500 miles from home, entering in the late 80s. My parents put me on a plane. I met other plane kids in the airport, and on the shuttle to campus. It truly was fine, a relief even.

DC went to school across the country. Flew out on miles and helped DC move in. That said, many international students did not have a parent there.

As someone who started college by flying from California to the east coast on my own with two suitcases, I'd say it was fine. Did everyone else have a parent there? Of course, it was a wealthy school and I think for a lot of kids money wasn't an issue (as it was for my family). My roommate's parents didn't invite me along to anything so the first few days were a little rough. However, I chose to go to school really far away and knew airfare was expensive.

I'd say if your kid is mature and ready for the transition, it's okay. Not great, but fine.

We're on the west coast, and DH and I took our oldest kid to her college in the midwest. That said, there were TONS of kids who showed up by themselves.

Agree with 19:00 above...depends on the kid. My oldest kid was that classic ADHD kid whose mom (me) probably helped out too much with executive function/planning and so she stayed weak in that department. I went to be there in case needed.

Tangent, though, my kid is now going into her senior year and she does exec functioning stuff all the time. They really do grow up.

One parent flew to drop off- set up the dorm room etc freshman year. We did add travel expenses to our budget when considering his school - including a parent flying out for parents weekend, move-in and move-out. Then our students travel. The cost does add up - but being able to see our student in their new home away from home was really wonderful. Next year they have already told us they don't need one of us to fly them to move -in. So your days of help and support are numbered.