Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son was a late bloomer - sounds a lot like your son. He started dating his Sophomore year of college and is now happily living with his GF of 4 years, soon to be fiancé. I had the same thoughts as you, but don't sweat it - my son was a relationship guy and treated all his girlfriends really well (took them on dates/paid/thoughtful/no games). I'm proud of him for that and being able to commit once he found the right one.

OP here. Thanks so much, yes this sounds like him and you sound like me. I can relax.

How would worrying change anything? What if he wants to be single? It really isn't anything you can do or should!

Anonymous wrote:My son's waiting for college. There aren't many smart girls at his high school who are available and drama-free. And he doesn't want to be tied to someone who might choose a different university.

He's actually pretty tired of hearing about other people's sex life and relationship issues. His friends aren't convincing him by example that high school relationships are worth it.

I was pretty desperate to start dating in high school to prove to myself that I was pretty enough and attractive enough. That got me 2.5 years of learning "what not to do in a relationship" with a Mr. Wrong. If I could do it over, I would have skipped my first two boyfriends. I could have used a village matchmaker!

You know ALL the girls in his high school so you can confidently state that they are ALL aren't "smart" or drama free? Oh right, " who are available" So in your eyes ( and his) that is only a small percentage?

Wow, your attitude towards girls has rubbed off on your son..."congrats?" I feel sorry for any future women in his life

Anonymous wrote:Son is an all-around normal kid, social, lots of friends, many smart/cute girls who like him. He's straight and has gone out with girls who have asked him out, but he keeps it to "friend dates" and says he has no interest in physical intimacy or any relationship beyond friends. Is that normal for *some* boys at that age? I'm quite surprised.

Are you the mom or the dad? I would say stay out of his romantic life. Yes, it is normal. Just leave him alone! Not your business.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is/was your DS a late bloomer (in terms of puberty) by chance?

This was the case in our household. DH was so worried that DS wasn’t interested in having a girlfriend or even dating. But he matured a little later and, now, in college has dated plenty and is now with a great young woman who complements his personality and interests well.

Just be patient OP!

My husband too!

This is like most of the boys we know at that age, OP. My sons go to a single-sex HS though. No sisters either. Senior and sophomore.

They get set up on dates for the dances, but no girlfriends. Don’t seem to care.

They both play a time-consuming sport and have tough schedules/work loads. Frankly, I’m glad not have the drama.

Anonymous wrote:OP, is/was your DS a late bloomer (in terms of puberty) by chance?

This was the case in our household. DH was so worried that DS wasn’t interested in having a girlfriend or even dating. But he matured a little later and, now, in college has dated plenty and is now with a great young woman who complements his personality and interests well.

Just be patient OP!

Anonymous wrote:High school boys have sex, but not relationships in 2024.

No, they are not going to tell you about the sex they have.

Where do they have sex? It’s not at my house because no girls are over.

At parties?

It's fine, and yes it's normal.

Our oldest was like that, at 17 he wasn't dating, not interested. Then BOOM! he was married at 25.

High school boys have sex, but not relationships in 2024.

No, they are not going to tell you about the sex they have.

My son's waiting for college. There aren't many smart girls at his high school who are available and drama-free. And he doesn't want to be tied to someone who might choose a different university.

He's actually pretty tired of hearing about other people's sex life and relationship issues. His friends aren't convincing him by example that high school relationships are worth it.

I was pretty desperate to start dating in high school to prove to myself that I was pretty enough and attractive enough. That got me 2.5 years of learning "what not to do in a relationship" with a Mr. Wrong. If I could do it over, I would have skipped my first two boyfriends. I could have used a village matchmaker!

Does he have friends who are girls?

Because if not - the most confident, cool boys with their guy friends, are often awkward and fumbling around girls.

My 16 yo says so many boys her age are like this. The boys (and girls too) who aren’t are all the ones who have mixed gender social groups. I’m sure they will grow out of it.

Anonymous wrote:My son was a late bloomer - sounds a lot like your son. He started dating his Sophomore year of college and is now happily living with his GF of 4 years, soon to be fiancé. I had the same thoughts as you, but don't sweat it - my son was a relationship guy and treated all his girlfriends really well (took them on dates/paid/thoughtful/no games). I'm proud of him for that and being able to commit once he found the right one.

OP here. Thanks so much, yes this sounds like him and you sound like me. I can relax.

I would not presume you 100% know exactly what's going on with your 17 yo son sexually. You might have a glimpse at some things but unless you tail him 24/7, you have no idea what activities he is or isn't engaging in.

He might be hooking up with girls and not engaging in relationships because he recognizes the futility of doing so at this age. Or he might be doing those things and hiding it from you.

Or he might just be waiting to dive into the dating world more seriously when he's in college and has more means and autonomy to do so. But I don't think there's anything wrong with your son for NOT entertaining a girlfriend at this age. I actually think that's the SMART thing to do.

Don't create problems where there are none.

Anonymous wrote:Teen boys do not see a future. As in no future at all.

Why on earth would they want a girlfriend ?!?

Truth.