Anonymous wrote:Packing suitcases! My kid has been packing with me since she was little and she's been independently packing her suitcase for several years (she's 8). She usually just asks me how many days we're going to be visiting and then what kinds of weather. She even remembers to pack extra underwear/shirts because you just always want to have extra if those

I feel like you are confusing things that someone taught early, with things that kids learned by themselves. It sounds like you taught your kid how to pack. OP is asking about letting kids learn through exploration, which is the opposite.

Consider letting go of minor conflicts with peers, small academic mistakes, and simple household chores in elementary school. In middle school, encourage independence in homework management, social decisions, and personal hygiene routines. By high school, allow them autonomy in academic performance, extracurricular activities, and college and career decisions, while offering support and guidance as needed. This approach fosters resilience, problem-solving skills, and a sense of responsibility as they navigate through different stages of development.

Packing suitcases! My kid has been packing with me since she was little and she's been independently packing her suitcase for several years (she's 8). She usually just asks me how many days we're going to be visiting and then what kinds of weather. She even remembers to pack extra underwear/shirts because you just always want to have extra if those

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ES - dressing for the weather and spirit days
MS - driving them anywhere they could walk or bike
HS - course selection (as long as they are on track to graduate)

Nope, kids still need guidance on these things especially course selection.

My kid needed zero help with course selection. Off to her first choice college in the fall.

If she did she knew she couldn't count on you and had to figure it out her own. I'm always amazed at the schedules some kids have and how they are not focusing on the right things and too many fun or fluff classes.

Sure that must have certainly been the case!

This is the same kid who insisted on doing her college apps herself. Absolutely would not let us read her essay.

Not all of us can raise self sufficient kids. It’s ok, PP.

I think my kid is going to be like that with the essay. I am proud of her independence but in some cases I wish she'd let us in

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ES - dressing for the weather and spirit days
MS - driving them anywhere they could walk or bike
HS - course selection (as long as they are on track to graduate)

I recently ran into a Naval Academy AO at a cocktail event who told me one of the biggest issues he sees is parents letting their higher schools choose classes on their own.

How could he possibly know who chose the classes when he is looking at applications?

I feel like I am unclear what you mean by explore.

I am a big believer in kids doing things independently, but a lot of the things described here, like ordering food, swimming, riding a bike, getting themselves up and dressed in the morning, and cooking are things my kids learned because I taught them, so I don't consider them things my kids learned through exploring. Once I had taught them those things, for the most part, I let them guide the way and learn from their non-life threatening mistakes. Is that what people mean by "learning from exploring"?

Anonymous wrote:ES - dressing for the weather and spirit days
MS - driving them anywhere they could walk or bike
HS - course selection (as long as they are on track to graduate)

I recently ran into a Naval Academy AO at a cocktail event who told me one of the biggest issues he sees is parents letting their higher schools choose classes on their own.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buying groceries off a list you give them in the store by themselves.

What age can kid do that? Does supermarket manager (eg giant or safeway) allow kid (minor) shopping on its own completely or parents have to follow behind the whole time saying nothing or offering guideline?

What?!

To be fair to PP, I saw a bunch of high schoolers get kicked out of Safeway last week because they were completely out of control crazy (just loud and obnoxious) and customers were complaining. So managers do step in.

But obviously not for a kid shopping alone calmly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buying groceries off a list you give them in the store by themselves.

What age can kid do that? Does supermarket manager (eg giant or safeway) allow kid (minor) shopping on its own completely or parents have to follow behind the whole time saying nothing or offering guideline?

What?!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buying groceries off a list you give them in the store by themselves.

What age can kid do that? Does supermarket manager (eg giant or safeway) allow kid (minor) shopping on its own completely or parents have to follow behind the whole time saying nothing or offering guideline?

This past summer my 12 year old often biked to the grocery store, bought a short list of items for me, put them in his backpack and biked home. My 16 year old who now has a drivers license can do the full family weekly grocery shop.

Start by having your kid at age 5 or so go get items down the end of the same grocery aisle you are in. Then by 7 or so you can send them around to get things from other sections of the store.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buying groceries off a list you give them in the store by themselves.

What age can kid do that? Does supermarket manager (eg giant or safeway) allow kid (minor) shopping on its own completely or parents have to follow behind the whole time saying nothing or offering guideline?

What? Grocery store don’t sell controlled substances. Kids are allowed to shop. Mine have been doing that since at least 4th grade.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buying groceries off a list you give them in the store by themselves.

What age can kid do that? Does supermarket manager (eg giant or safeway) allow kid (minor) shopping on its own completely or parents have to follow behind the whole time saying nothing or offering guideline?

We have neighbors who go to the store and send their 6th on up kids off to do different parts of the list. Following their good lead, I have had my kid do it starting in 5th. Nobody complained. It's a great life skill.

ES - by the end, bringing your own stuff. If they forget lunch or an instrument at home, don't bring it. Obviously you phase this requirement in, but certainly before MS.

Anonymous wrote:Buying groceries off a list you give them in the store by themselves.

What age can kid do that? Does supermarket manager (eg giant or safeway) allow kid (minor) shopping on its own completely or parents have to follow behind the whole time saying nothing or offering guideline?

WE are raising the kids with the mindset that they shouldn't need us by the time they are seniors.
Now that doesn't mean we WON"T be there helping or cooking, but they can at the very least fend for themselves and make decisions for themselves independent of us. This includes things like acceptable time to come home at night, having clean laundry, cooking basic meals they like, reading a bus route, knowing how to make appointments and keep them. How to keep files for taxes and medical purposes etc.

To prepare for this by middle school kids should be able to get up and out the door on their own. Explore parks after school, walk or ride a bike to friends houses, cook basic meals, do laundry.

High school should be able to tell when the body needs rest and listen to it. Drive to local establishments. Make appointments. Identify colleges, select a major or career they want.