Anonymous wrote:Posthumous braggarts usually have money. No one pays an obit for for their regular smegular family members who barely left enough to close the estate

PP: You're going to find life a lot easier when you stop making other people's pain about you.

I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you could add more detail in the post your memories area.

This is a good idea.

Another thought: Are you giving a eulogy at the service? If so, you might want to write that up and then post it on facebook or somewhere else on social media.

Posthumous braggarts usually have money. No one pays an obit for for their regular smegular family members who barely left enough to close the estate

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The funeral home that handled my mom's arrangements did an online obituary for free, or at least included in the packet.

We used cremation society of MD, and got the simplest package except for a slightly nicer scattering container, and the whole thing was under $2K.

Thanks, but I think you misunderstood my question. He has an obituary at the funeral home, but it sucks. No one will allow for it to be adjusted so I was looking to send an amended one on my own to a publication or news website and it is too cost prohibitive.

No one reads the newspaper anymore. Save the money and find another way to honor him.

Old people do. Many found out about my dad from the obit section in Wash Post.

Yes, yet you can run a short obit and include a reference where they can find the deceased's life story.

First, I’m very sorry for your loss, OP.

We had a situation somewhat similar to this. My spouse’s sibling drastically edited the obit my spouse had written for the funeral home. It wasn’t worth arguing about it. My spouse posted some great pictures and the full obit he had written on Facebook and received a lot of feedback from friends and relatives who very kindly shared their own reminiscences of his parent, which was really nice. He also sent the obit to his parent’s alumni magazine, which was published just as he had written it, no editing.

On another note, I put a lot of time and thought into an obit for my mom, which my sister linked to on her Facebook. When people commented on what a nice obit it was, she just replied thank you, as though she had written it. It doesn’t really matter, but I thought it was an odd occasion to take credit for someone else’s writing.

OP, consider writing the obit you’d like to see and post it on Facebook. You’d be surprised how many people will end up seeing it and appreciate learning more about your dad’s life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The funeral home that handled my mom's arrangements did an online obituary for free, or at least included in the packet.

We used cremation society of MD, and got the simplest package except for a slightly nicer scattering container, and the whole thing was under $2K.

Thanks, but I think you misunderstood my question. He has an obituary at the funeral home, but it sucks. No one will allow for it to be adjusted so I was looking to send an amended one on my own to a publication or news website and it is too cost prohibitive.

The online ones are important. Easier to find than newspapers because they are not paywalled. I search for these when I have a reason. One of the major online providers seems to be accessible/searchable through Ancestry.com.

I would try again with the funeral home. Tell a manager that you are grieving and you can't afford $1,500. Offer them $100 to edit it. Unless the blocking people are your relatives.

Another thought. If the existing one offers comments, add your thoughts in the comments.

Anonymous wrote:Do a post on social media

+1
I’ve seen lovely obituaries on Facebook. It’s easy to share and will reach an extended network of people who care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a way for newspapers to stay in business.

My mom died a few years ago. I staffed a work event a week or so later where there were lots of people. Three people came up to me that day because they had seen the obituary and a few people came to the funeral because they'd seen the obituary.
I was surprised and thought it was nice.

When we put an obit in the local paper where my father died - it was free- a day later his house was broken into. The responding police officer said - he recommends folks avoid it as its an easy way for people to target or see if the house is empty after a death notice.

My mom did not want a printed obit for my dad for this reason.

She did let me post something on social media after a few days, but I didn't until she was comfortable with it and I let her read it first. I also did not put service details, as it will be in June where we used to live. We are reaching out to family and friends who may wish to attend. My mom is concerned about safety and I understand that.

Do a post on social media

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The funeral home that handled my mom's arrangements did an online obituary for free, or at least included in the packet.

We used cremation society of MD, and got the simplest package except for a slightly nicer scattering container, and the whole thing was under $2K.

Thanks, but I think you misunderstood my question. He has an obituary at the funeral home, but it sucks. No one will allow for it to be adjusted so I was looking to send an amended one on my own to a publication or news website and it is too cost prohibitive.

No one reads the newspaper anymore. Save the money and find another way to honor him.

Old people do. Many found out about my dad from the obit section in Wash Post.

I spent $1,400 for photo and obit in the Post for my dad. I was floored it was that much.

Anonymous wrote:It's a way for newspapers to stay in business.

My mom died a few years ago. I staffed a work event a week or so later where there were lots of people. Three people came up to me that day because they had seen the obituary and a few people came to the funeral because they'd seen the obituary.
I was surprised and thought it was nice.

When we put an obit in the local paper where my father died - it was free- a day later his house was broken into. The responding police officer said - he recommends folks avoid it as its an easy way for people to target or see if the house is empty after a death notice.

Make a blog. Post the obituary on your blog. Link to neighborhood groups and family.

It's free

Anonymous wrote:your mother is next of kin so the funeral home will only do what she authorizes in the obit. Ask her instead of your sister.

OP says her mom "won't budge."

OP, do you have access to your father's address book (I am assuming he has one)? Get some sort of card printed up with a photo or photos of him and the longer obit you wish you had, and mail it to his friends.

your mother is next of kin so the funeral home will only do what she authorizes in the obit. Ask her instead of your sister.