Anonymous wrote:

JaylaChandler wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time I step outside, my elderly neighbor wants to talk. She will wave me over to ask one question or another. It’s getting to the point I don’t even want to leave my house! She sits on her porch all day long. She’s also easily offended so I don’t want to do or say anything that will cause her to become vindictive; I have to live here!

Yesterday I went out to get the mail and she called me over to ask me about the sidewalks. This morning I went for a walk before I had to log on a work and she called me over to ask me if I heard a loud truck last night. The other day I was out doing some yard cleanup, fully involved in what I was doing with headphones, and she called me over to ask if I wanted to go through her books.

I try to pretend I don’t hear her or see her, but that’s not always easy, especially when she barricades me as soon as I step out the door. I will also say things like, “Ok, have to go cook/work/get a drink of water” but she just keeps talking!

Help!

Oh my God, what a familiar situation.

It was a similar experience, but your neighbor is just kind of pushy. I was annoyed at one point by this behavior of my neighbor and at first I tried to explain to her that I was an extrovert, and I just physically could not talk to someone for a long time, as it causes me moral and physical inconvenience.

But my neighbor continued to harass me anyway. After that, I said, "Please, I see that you are a kind woman, and I don't want to aggravate our friendly neighborhood, but I may not control myself at another moment, because communicating with people annoys me, so I warn you that I can be rude when they try to talk to me, even for example you and your desire to chat."

It didn't work anyway and I had to just ignore her existence...

Oooo, this is one of those AI bots!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just wave and say, “hi Bertha; gotta run to a call/meeting now!” If she’s easily offended then maybe she’ll stop talking to you.

1. I would do that.

2. OP, your neighbor is mentally ill and you will probably end up offending her at some point anyway. She might not go to the lengths she's gone with the other neighbor, or maybe she will, but you have no way to control that, so let it go and stick to a routine you can live with.

3. If her behavior is due to Alzheimer's or certain other forms of dementia, she will get worse, and might become more aggressive and vindictive, because that how the disease typically progresses. Again, there is nothing you can do to stop that. You need to stay vigilant and be ready to call the police if she does anything dangerous.

4. Sorry you're going through this. I wouldn't want such a neighbor either.

You’re making a diagnosis of mental illness? She could just be a lonely old lady or a friendly person. Some people like friendly neighbors! Geez, don’t move to Bethesda then - that’s how we all are. A friend visiting from North Bethesda even commented on how friendly and polite the neighborhood drivers are!

Anonymous wrote:What sort of vindictive behavior do you think she would exhibit if you cut her off?

JaylaChandler wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time I step outside, my elderly neighbor wants to talk. She will wave me over to ask one question or another. It’s getting to the point I don’t even want to leave my house! She sits on her porch all day long. She’s also easily offended so I don’t want to do or say anything that will cause her to become vindictive; I have to live here!

Yesterday I went out to get the mail and she called me over to ask me about the sidewalks. This morning I went for a walk before I had to log on a work and she called me over to ask me if I heard a loud truck last night. The other day I was out doing some yard cleanup, fully involved in what I was doing with headphones, and she called me over to ask if I wanted to go through her books.

I try to pretend I don’t hear her or see her, but that’s not always easy, especially when she barricades me as soon as I step out the door. I will also say things like, “Ok, have to go cook/work/get a drink of water” but she just keeps talking!

Help!

Oh my God, what a familiar situation.

It was a similar experience, but your neighbor is just kind of pushy. I was annoyed at one point by this behavior of my neighbor and at first I tried to explain to her that I was an extrovert, and I just physically could not talk to someone for a long time, as it causes me moral and physical inconvenience.

But my neighbor continued to harass me anyway. After that, I said, "Please, I see that you are a kind woman, and I don't want to aggravate our friendly neighborhood, but I may not control myself at another moment, because communicating with people annoys me, so I warn you that I can be rude when they try to talk to me, even for example you and your desire to chat."

It didn't work anyway and I had to just ignore her existence...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just wave and say, “hi Bertha; gotta run to a call/meeting now!” If she’s easily offended then maybe she’ll stop talking to you.

1. I would do that.

2. OP, your neighbor is mentally ill and you will probably end up offending her at some point anyway. She might not go to the lengths she's gone with the other neighbor, or maybe she will, but you have no way to control that, so let it go and stick to a routine you can live with.

3. If her behavior is due to Alzheimer's or certain other forms of dementia, she will get worse, and might become more aggressive and vindictive, because that how the disease typically progresses. Again, there is nothing you can do to stop that. You need to stay vigilant and be ready to call the police if she does anything dangerous.

4. Sorry you're going through this. I wouldn't want such a neighbor either.

You’re making a diagnosis of mental illness? She could just be a lonely old lady or a friendly person. Some people like friendly neighbors! Geez, don’t move to Bethesda then - that’s how we all are. A friend visiting from North Bethesda even commented on how friendly and polite the neighborhood drivers are!

Anonymous wrote:Fake calls. Have your phone to your ear every time you walk out and carry on an imaginary conversation until you are out of range.

Carry a shopping bag in your car. Carry it when coming home and say you have perishables that need to get to your freezer.

Hang up a giant noisy windchime that will annoy her to go back inside!

She's bored and lonely. Chat (about how busy you are at work, thus the calls) when you can and pretend when you can't.

Anonymous wrote:I would just wave and say, “hi Bertha; gotta run to a call/meeting now!” If she’s easily offended then maybe she’ll stop talking to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just wave and say, “hi Bertha; gotta run to a call/meeting now!” If she’s easily offended then maybe she’ll stop talking to you.

1. I would do that.

2. OP, your neighbor is mentally ill and you will probably end up offending her at some point anyway. She might not go to the lengths she's gone with the other neighbor, or maybe she will, but you have no way to control that, so let it go and stick to a routine you can live with.

3. If her behavior is due to Alzheimer's or certain other forms of dementia, she will get worse, and might become more aggressive and vindictive, because that how the disease typically progresses. Again, there is nothing you can do to stop that. You need to stay vigilant and be ready to call the police if she does anything dangerous.

4. Sorry you're going through this. I wouldn't want such a neighbor either.

You’re making a diagnosis of mental illness? She could just be a lonely old lady or a friendly person. Some people like friendly neighbors! Geez, don’t move to Bethesda then - that’s how we all are. A friend visiting from North Bethesda even commented on how friendly and polite the neighborhood drivers are!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just wave and say, “hi Bertha; gotta run to a call/meeting now!” If she’s easily offended then maybe she’ll stop talking to you.

1. I would do that.

2. OP, your neighbor is mentally ill and you will probably end up offending her at some point anyway. She might not go to the lengths she's gone with the other neighbor, or maybe she will, but you have no way to control that, so let it go and stick to a routine you can live with.

3. If her behavior is due to Alzheimer's or certain other forms of dementia, she will get worse, and might become more aggressive and vindictive, because that how the disease typically progresses. Again, there is nothing you can do to stop that. You need to stay vigilant and be ready to call the police if she does anything dangerous.

4. Sorry you're going through this. I wouldn't want such a neighbor either.

Anonymous wrote:Easy peasy - every time she approaches you, ask her for money. Tell her you’re having trouble making ends meet and could really use some cash if she can spare any. Do this EVERY TIME she approaches you. Constantly ask about money.


Eventuality she’ll come to dread even seeing you, and will flee at the sight of you.


The asking for money thing works like a champ. I’ve used that tactic myself in a similar situation with an annoying coworker.