Anonymous
Post 04/30/2024 10:23     Subject: Re:At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
It’s not realistic to think you can successfully police her food anymore. The more of an issue you make now, the more likely she is to totally rebel when she heads to college. She’s heard you, she’s heard the dentist. At some point she’s going to have to deal with the consequences.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2024 10:11     Subject: Re:At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Goldfish are not causing cavities.


1+. And I say this as someone who is cavity prone and knows the “list” of “no’s.” Seems like this is just a stealth way to police her diet. (She’s never going to have a cracker again?) Keep junk food out of the house, discuss food/ drinks that are problematic, develop good dental hygiene habits, then let it go.


OP here. I swear I don't want to police her diet. We are all thin and not diet-restrictive at all. My husband is cavity prone like DD, but my other child and I are not. We all eat very similarly. I have no personal vendetta against crackers or pretzels, etc. More than one dentist have specifically called this foods out because they sit in molars and grooves.


Doesn’t she have sealants? We all have deep grooves and got cavities in every single one and nowhere else ever until we got them all filled (with fillings or sealants). I completely agree that it’s unavoidable if that’s just the shape of her teeth, but also know that diet changes won’t stop it until the grooves are filled. But if she’s getting cavities in other places, then it’s likely weak enamel and she needs dietary and behavioral changes, plus more fluoride treatments.

If it’s her enamel, then you keep parenting because she needs to learn to brush and rinse more frequently, particularly after certain foods. If it’s her grooves, then just fill them and drop the rope.


I never got sealants and when I asked my dentist about it as an adult while he was suggesting it for my 6 yr old DD he said when he and I were kids, it was just done for poor kids who only saw a dentist at public school because they didn't think those parents were getting their kids to brush or floss. He said it's too late as an adult.


I still get sealants as an adult. Why would it be too late - we can still get cavities.


Sealants are just a cash money maker for dentists. Honest dentists don’t do them.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2024 08:31     Subject: At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Give this kid a toothbrush and toothpaste. After she eats or drinks, tell her to brush. It will really help to get the food out of her teeth. And if she can't brush right away, teach her to take a big swig of water to get things off of her teeth.


She does this and has for a long time.


Right after eating or drinking, the mouth is in an acidic state and the brushing can cause excessive loss of enamel. My dentist said to wait about 30-60 minutes after eating or drinking before brushing. Right after eating she can rinse her mouth well with water and maybe use a toothpick/floss.

Foods like carrots or apples or celery can help get crackers out of the grooves, so if it's part of a meal like school lunch when brushing isn't convenient, end with those foods. My dentist agrees that crackers are a culprit, so maybe encourage eating those first, then ending with a veggie.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2024 06:31     Subject: Re:At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Goldfish are not causing cavities.


1+. And I say this as someone who is cavity prone and knows the “list” of “no’s.” Seems like this is just a stealth way to police her diet. (She’s never going to have a cracker again?) Keep junk food out of the house, discuss food/ drinks that are problematic, develop good dental hygiene habits, then let it go.


OP here. I swear I don't want to police her diet. We are all thin and not diet-restrictive at all. My husband is cavity prone like DD, but my other child and I are not. We all eat very similarly. I have no personal vendetta against crackers or pretzels, etc. More than one dentist have specifically called this foods out because they sit in molars and grooves.


Doesn’t she have sealants? We all have deep grooves and got cavities in every single one and nowhere else ever until we got them all filled (with fillings or sealants). I completely agree that it’s unavoidable if that’s just the shape of her teeth, but also know that diet changes won’t stop it until the grooves are filled. But if she’s getting cavities in other places, then it’s likely weak enamel and she needs dietary and behavioral changes, plus more fluoride treatments.

If it’s her enamel, then you keep parenting because she needs to learn to brush and rinse more frequently, particularly after certain foods. If it’s her grooves, then just fill them and drop the rope.


I never got sealants and when I asked my dentist about it as an adult while he was suggesting it for my 6 yr old DD he said when he and I were kids, it was just done for poor kids who only saw a dentist at public school because they didn't think those parents were getting their kids to brush or floss. He said it's too late as an adult.


I still get sealants as an adult. Why would it be too late - we can still get cavities.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 22:57     Subject: Re:At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Goldfish are not causing cavities.


1+. And I say this as someone who is cavity prone and knows the “list” of “no’s.” Seems like this is just a stealth way to police her diet. (She’s never going to have a cracker again?) Keep junk food out of the house, discuss food/ drinks that are problematic, develop good dental hygiene habits, then let it go.


OP here. I swear I don't want to police her diet. We are all thin and not diet-restrictive at all. My husband is cavity prone like DD, but my other child and I are not. We all eat very similarly. I have no personal vendetta against crackers or pretzels, etc. More than one dentist have specifically called this foods out because they sit in molars and grooves.


Doesn’t she have sealants? We all have deep grooves and got cavities in every single one and nowhere else ever until we got them all filled (with fillings or sealants). I completely agree that it’s unavoidable if that’s just the shape of her teeth, but also know that diet changes won’t stop it until the grooves are filled. But if she’s getting cavities in other places, then it’s likely weak enamel and she needs dietary and behavioral changes, plus more fluoride treatments.

If it’s her enamel, then you keep parenting because she needs to learn to brush and rinse more frequently, particularly after certain foods. If it’s her grooves, then just fill them and drop the rope.


I never got sealants and when I asked my dentist about it as an adult while he was suggesting it for my 6 yr old DD he said when he and I were kids, it was just done for poor kids who only saw a dentist at public school because they didn't think those parents were getting their kids to brush or floss. He said it's too late as an adult.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 22:55     Subject: Re:At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?

Ask her dental hygienist for an honest report on her home care. Genetics are absolutely a factor, but I suspect hurried brushing and inconsistent flossing contribute to her decay.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 22:00     Subject: At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Anonymous wrote:Give this kid a toothbrush and toothpaste. After she eats or drinks, tell her to brush. It will really help to get the food out of her teeth. And if she can't brush right away, teach her to take a big swig of water to get things off of her teeth.


She does this and has for a long time.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 21:39     Subject: Re:At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
sugary/acidic drinks like lemonade, coffees and starbucks refreshers

You probably were the parent that brought Doritos and Gatorade to your six year old's soccer games. You failed her and now she is getting back at you.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 21:30     Subject: At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Give this kid a toothbrush and toothpaste. After she eats or drinks, tell her to brush. It will really help to get the food out of her teeth. And if she can't brush right away, teach her to take a big swig of water to get things off of her teeth.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 21:30     Subject: At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:16 year DD is lucky in the sense that she is genetically thin and likely will always be. She is also in a very active sport. My concern is not calories but sugar/carbs WRT her teeth. She has been very cavity prone thus far in life. Dentist says the main culprits for her are likely goldfish, cereal, and sugary/acidic drinks like lemonade, coffees and starbucks refreshers. He admits that its not fair and some kids can have these things without getting cavities. Trying to get her to limit these things or make better choices always results in an argument I don't enjoy having. She gets down every time a dental appt is coming up as she likely will have a cavity that needs filling.

Trying to find where the line is between helicopter and lazy parent here. I'd love to drop the rope but I worry she isn't thinking long term. She is generally/mostly a great, responsible kid with good grades and internal motivation. What is my responsibility here, DCUM?


I wouldn't police a 16yo at all. I don't really even police my 14yo except to make sure he gets protein at every meal.

The fact you have mentioned thinnness more than once makes me think you have other concerns than teeth.


You think she has bulimia?
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 21:16     Subject: Re:At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Anonymous wrote:Goldfish are not causing cavities.


This is the main thing you hear from all the dentists now.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 21:14     Subject: At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Anonymous wrote:This is genetic. Drop it. She gets cavities. It isn’t the end of the world


This
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 21:06     Subject: At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Anonymous wrote:16 year DD is lucky in the sense that she is genetically thin and likely will always be. She is also in a very active sport. My concern is not calories but sugar/carbs WRT her teeth. She has been very cavity prone thus far in life. Dentist says the main culprits for her are likely goldfish, cereal, and sugary/acidic drinks like lemonade, coffees and starbucks refreshers. He admits that its not fair and some kids can have these things without getting cavities. Trying to get her to limit these things or make better choices always results in an argument I don't enjoy having. She gets down every time a dental appt is coming up as she likely will have a cavity that needs filling.

Trying to find where the line is between helicopter and lazy parent here. I'd love to drop the rope but I worry she isn't thinking long term. She is generally/mostly a great, responsible kid with good grades and internal motivation. What is my responsibility here, DCUM?


I wouldn't police a 16yo at all. I don't really even police my 14yo except to make sure he gets protein at every meal.

The fact you have mentioned thinnness more than once makes me think you have other concerns than teeth.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 21:03     Subject: Re:At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Cavities are also helped along by the particular bacteria population in your mouth. My DH has cavity prone teeth, and he tested high for a certain type of bacteria that our kids and I don't have - we don't get cavities. It's like gut health - your diet affects what populations of beneficial or harmful bacteria predominate.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 20:35     Subject: Re:At what age can you/should you totally drop the rope on food choices?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Goldfish are not causing cavities.


1+. And I say this as someone who is cavity prone and knows the “list” of “no’s.” Seems like this is just a stealth way to police her diet. (She’s never going to have a cracker again?) Keep junk food out of the house, discuss food/ drinks that are problematic, develop good dental hygiene habits, then let it go.


OP here. I swear I don't want to police her diet. We are all thin and not diet-restrictive at all. My husband is cavity prone like DD, but my other child and I are not. We all eat very similarly. I have no personal vendetta against crackers or pretzels, etc. More than one dentist have specifically called this foods out because they sit in molars and grooves.


Doesn’t she have sealants? We all have deep grooves and got cavities in every single one and nowhere else ever until we got them all filled (with fillings or sealants). I completely agree that it’s unavoidable if that’s just the shape of her teeth, but also know that diet changes won’t stop it until the grooves are filled. But if she’s getting cavities in other places, then it’s likely weak enamel and she needs dietary and behavioral changes, plus more fluoride treatments.

If it’s her enamel, then you keep parenting because she needs to learn to brush and rinse more frequently, particularly after certain foods. If it’s her grooves, then just fill them and drop the rope.


Yeah, my dentist is constantly “popping a little sealant on that groove” every time I go in. I’m not particularly cavity-prone, but if I tell him I’m getting food stuck somewhere, or he notices a deep spot, he’ll fill the groove or divot. Thirty seconds to mix the compound, another fifteen to swipe it on, little UV light on it, done.

My question for OP would be, what’s the role of dental hygiene in all this? Why couldn’t her daughter keep a toothbrush and paste in her purse, and duck into the restroom after eating crackers or drinking Starbucks? Colgate, I think, makes tiny pre-pasted brushes that can be used discreetly. Even just a quick swipe of the brush and a swish with water should help clear those problem areas of food before bacteria can grow.

Surely 21st century dental practice must have a better solution than never eating another carb again.