Behavior reveals preferences. They may not like paying taxes but they prefer it to giving the money to your family now. So you rank below uncle Sam in their eyes.

Anonymous wrote:Oh for heaven's sake OP. If you are so financially successful that your ILs, who you predict will end up owing estate tax, are jealous, then why do you even care? If you ae that rich, then an 18k per year gift to your kids isn't going to make a difference in the grand scheme of things. MYOB. You are obsessing and acting pretty disgusting.

It’s the waste of it! We are going to get the money when they die either way. Why pay multiple millions in estate tax if you don’t have to? I’m not saying they give us “all” the money early, just enough to avoid the tax. This is so out of character for them considering all the other things they do to minimize taxes. They are so resentful of paying the Medicare supplement, etc. But they are willing to give Uncle Sam all this money they don’t have to?

Oh for heaven's sake OP. If you are so financially successful that your ILs, who you predict will end up owing estate tax, are jealous, then why do you even care? If you ae that rich, then an 18k per year gift to your kids isn't going to make a difference in the grand scheme of things. MYOB. You are obsessing and acting pretty disgusting.

OP sounds like a terrible person.

Team IL all the way.

Maybe they’ll change your tune if you agree to not be the beneficiary of any of money transfer? Agree to be cut out completely and I bet that addresses a huge part of the problem. Take one for the team.

Only DCUM thinks their ILs should give them all their money before they die so the government doesn't tax it.

Greed is still alive.

MIL has OP’s number.

Anonymous wrote:
They have over $14m and you’re complaining? Seriously?


Well over. And they have no plan to do anything about it if the law reverts back. And they hate taxes and big government! But god forbid they put $18k a year in a fund for their grandchildren.

We don’t need the money - we and DH’s two siblings are very successfully employed, a fact that seems to turn my MIL green with envy. She is constantly making snide remarks about it.

If you are all so successful, why do you need $18K put into a fund for the grandchildren?

The daughter-in-law nightmares are made of. MYOB.

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t need the money, why do you care, OP?

Your grandchildren don’t need $18k in a fund.

Yup. Counting other people's money is pretty much always a bad look.

If you don’t need the money, why do you care, OP?

Your grandchildren don’t need $18k in a fund.

My in laws are like this OP, and I get it. They also seem to be more unhappy the more successful their children are. Like they enjoy being able to be in control of their children's lives by dangling the money in front of them. But unlike your in laws, mine don't even intend to pass the inheritance to the kids when they die. Instead they want to do a list of legacy related silly things that they say will help us all but really wont. I would back the F off like some of suggested except every single time we talk, they make it sound like they are so generous and so considerate of the kids needs, but they don't see that in reality they are like scrooge.

Yup. Mine are.

It’s there selfish decision. I’ll be lucky if they don’t donate it all to Trump’s legal fund.

They can set up irrevocable trusts that don’t pay out until one or both of them die. That way they will avoid paying estate taxes and avoid giving while they are alive. My parents have done this but they are also generous with annual gifts and funding 529 plans for grandchildren. My siblings and I are all successful and we can meet all of our own needs but this down the road safety net is very comforting and will also really benefit their grandchildren.

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else’s parents/in-laws doing this?

Yes of course it’s their right, but why give the government so much money just to avoid enriching your children and grandchildren. The way my MIL talks, it’s like she is jealous that her adult children are financially successful. Assuming nothing is done by Congress by 2026, in-laws will be well over the estate tax limit.

You’re getting a lot of hate but I completely agree with you. This is stupid and they should be thinking of their grandchildren. I don’t understand this mentality but it’s a real problem for boomers. I think they are in denial that they will die and/or just no longer have the influence they once held. We need to remember to do better as millennials.

Healthcare is very expensive and no one knows how the end will come. Are you going to pop off tomorrow, without having spent a dime, or are you going to linger on for 30 years, with expensive round-the-clock help? 20K a month worth of help?!?

Elderly parents are worried their kids might not come to the rescue if they give it all away ahead of time. It takes someone like my MIL, with a rock-solid bond of trust with her children, to do that (also, she has advanced Parkinson's, and knows she won't be cognitively valid for ever).

For shame, OP. You're probably going to keep your money until you die. Educate your kids on how much caregiving costs before they start hating you for not giving you the money sooner.