Anonymous wrote:Family members that have inability to feel joy, also unable to express happiness for anyone, and willfully and intentionally want someone who is experiencing joy to suffer. Depression? Anxiety? Something else?

They are in a bad place and don't have the skills needed to get out. Instead, they have dug in and want to bring others down to their level. Misery loves company.

We all are capable of having sadistic feelings....some worse than others. Some of us visit these places briefly in rare moments, others live there.

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Anonymous wrote:Dysthymia?

I thought dysthymia was when you ruminated on everything. What OP is describing sounds to me like depression.

Some people with a deeper chronic depression can be irritable/angry and unconsciously or consciously be pissed that you're not fixing it, though they rarely say this directly. But what op is describing sounds more like anything from someone being deeply envy prone (looking at you, Jill Zarin from RHONY) to being incapable of joy due to addiction, hostility, a nasty sadistic streak or yes sociopathy or other deeper personality issue, like narcissism. It's a deep problem. These are people to avoid, obviously.

Anonymous wrote:Dysthymia?

I thought dysthymia was when you ruminated on everything. What OP is describing sounds to me like depression.

I call it being a ‘heart eater’: one who gets joy in making you feel miserable as they turn the knife. A complete glass half-empty pessimist, victim playing, selfish, loves when something bad happens - a complete morrissey set list. Meet my mother.
Stems from I think being bipolar and crazy gene hard wiring, a narcissistic + ageist- the highs are tremendous, but then the masks slips and the despair sets in; a scorch the earth hand grenade throwing tantrum.

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Anonymous wrote:Family members that have inability to feel joy, also unable to express happiness for anyone, and willfully and intentionally want someone who is experiencing joy to suffer. Depression? Anxiety? Something else?

I call this my mother.

lol lol SAME!

Same. My mother can never express happiness for anyone, especially her own children on otherwise joyous occasions.

OP here. Yes, this - not allowing someone to enjoy their day, or their victory, or similar.

Like sabatoge or more like making voodoo dolls and talking bad about others or to them.?

Anonymous wrote:Family members that have inability to feel joy, also unable to express happiness for anyone, and willfully and intentionally want someone who is experiencing joy to suffer. Depression? Anxiety? Something else?

Insane.

Drop them

Anonymous wrote:Family members that have inability to feel joy, also unable to express happiness for anyone, and willfully and intentionally want someone who is experiencing joy to suffer. Depression? Anxiety? Something else?

Do they show ANY emotion or empathy or socially acceptable response to normal catalysts?
Or just very muted happiness?

My in laws are all HFA so either need to be told “we’re celebrating XYZ” or how to behave or else they’ll just sit there and say whatever. They’ve seen so many movies they copy those reactions too.

But very formulaic and muted behaviors. My spouse says he was taught Emotions are a weakness and waste of time. There was some neglect as well, not intentionally, just “the way they were.” Normalized silence and neglect.

Psychotic

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think so many people over the age of 65 would benefit from a low dose anti-depressant. Once we all hit that age we should just do it.

OP here. The party I am talking about is younger, but not by that much. I agree with your statement, BTW.

I honestly think so many people over the age of 65 would benefit from a low dose anti-depressant. Once we all hit that age we should just do it.

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Anonymous wrote:Family members that have inability to feel joy, also unable to express happiness for anyone, and willfully and intentionally want someone who is experiencing joy to suffer. Depression? Anxiety? Something else?

I call this my mother.

lol lol SAME!

Same. My mother can never express happiness for anyone, especially her own children on otherwise joyous occasions.

This is my MIL too. I really think it's a combination of anxiety and depression. She's so deeply self-conscious that she can't ever express any real affection or praise. She also has no idea how awful she comes off (it took me a LONG time to realize she didn't really notice was B she was being). Her "I'm being friendly mode" still normally comes with a dig or a demand. But yet, she will also cry that no one wants to spend time with her. I hold her at arm's length because of many years of fair to poor treatment, but now that I am out of the trenches of having little kids I see her a little differently. I don't think she's ever really had a close relationship, she's just been in the same rooms as other people her whole life. It seems really sad to me now that she's older.

Anonymous wrote:Dysthymia?

This seems probable, thank you. Any experiences welcome.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family members that have inability to feel joy, also unable to express happiness for anyone, and willfully and intentionally want someone who is experiencing joy to suffer. Depression? Anxiety? Something else?

I call this my mother.

lol lol SAME!

Same. My mother can never express happiness for anyone, especially her own children on otherwise joyous occasions.

Mine too. WHAT is this about?!?! My mom has literally CRIED when I went on vacation to NC. like WTF?!

Dysthymia?