Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 18:50     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

Age: I’m 29 and he’s 30.

Salary: I make base of $180k but can go up to $230k if I work OT. He makes $80k and his salary will not increase.

Outlook: I’m not sure if I would ever stay home but I want the option to take a couple of years off to raise my kids while they’re young.

I grew up in a large family where we didn’t have a lot of extra money. My dad was the sole provider while my mom took care of us. We couldn’t partake in after programs or extra curricular activities because we didn’t have the expendable income to cover it. I had to work 60 hour weeks and delay college so that I could save up and not take out so many student loans. I didn’t finish my degrees until 23 and 27 because of it.

I want to provide my kids with the opportunities I didn’t have. I want them to be able to partake in any activities they want, go on a family vacation, and pay for their college.

I’ve only ever dated men that have matched my salary or made more. It’s a new territory for me.


This problem will work itself out. You're only six years away from a geriatric pregnancy. It doesn't seem likely that you'll find someone that checks all of your boxes before then.


yep - op posts like she's 21-25
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 18:44     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
What do you do that you make 180 at 29?
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 18:44     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
What happens if you can’t have kids?
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 18:37     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

Age: I’m 29 and he’s 30.

Salary: I make base of $180k but can go up to $230k if I work OT. He makes $80k and his salary will not increase.

Outlook: I’m not sure if I would ever stay home but I want the option to take a couple of years off to raise my kids while they’re young.

I grew up in a large family where we didn’t have a lot of extra money. My dad was the sole provider while my mom took care of us. We couldn’t partake in after programs or extra curricular activities because we didn’t have the expendable income to cover it. I had to work 60 hour weeks and delay college so that I could save up and not take out so many student loans. I didn’t finish my degrees until 23 and 27 because of it.

I want to provide my kids with the opportunities I didn’t have. I want them to be able to partake in any activities they want, go on a family vacation, and pay for their college.

I’ve only ever dated men that have matched my salary or made more. It’s a new territory for me.


This problem will work itself out. You're only six years away from a geriatric pregnancy. It doesn't seem likely that you'll find someone that checks all of your boxes before then.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 18:30     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Any chance he has family money?

I married the nice guy with the $80k salary (and excellent benefits) and I had no clue his parents were equipped to pay for our wedding, honeymoon, generous down payment on our first home, etc.

I think he opted for the low paying job knowing his parents would supplement (including gifts like a new car for a milestone birthday and college savings accounts for our kids).

Nonetheless, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t annoyed that I’m the breadwinner with the stressful job that pays our bills. I wasn’t able to be a SAHM. I’m still slightly annoyed about that.

There is definitely something to be said for men who relish in being the provider. Don’t settle if it feels like you are settling.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 18:29     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
The reality is more woman get college degrees than men nowadays. It does translate somewhat into higher salaries. Of course, there are still more men in executive positions, startup businesses, and male athletes earn more than female. But for the average person, you may have to adjust to the idea that you will meet guys who make less than you in the general dating pool.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 18:15     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:If you want that kind of lifestyle and are very clear eyed about that he is not the guy for you. Next. But that kind of guy you are looking for is rare. So be clear eyed about whether you have the ability to attract that kind of guy.


This. No time for emotion, you need to kick this guy to the curb and be 100% on landing a provider.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 18:11     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
If you want that kind of lifestyle and are very clear eyed about that he is not the guy for you. Next. But that kind of guy you are looking for is rare. So be clear eyed about whether you have the ability to attract that kind of guy.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 18:07     Subject: Re:Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Recognize your materialism and own it.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 18:02     Subject: Re:Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a stand home mom so yes, you do want a meal ticket.

Accept who you are, dump the good guy, let him find a good girl, and go find you a man who will pay for your life without much in return.


OP here. I don’t think a woman staying home is a meal ticket. My mom worked very hard to raise 6 kids. They both worked but in different spectrums.

I also don’t plan to quit working forever. If I did stay home, it would only be max of 3-5 years until kids go to school. I don’t see a point in staying home after that.


Expecting to be taken care of like a dependent requires finding a man willing to take the entire burden of keeping a roof over your head, food in your bellies and money saved in the bank. You want that and a cushy lifestyle, you said as much in your OP.

That is a meal ticket. Adjust your priorities or cut this man lose.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 18:00     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Every month like clockwork you post some variation of this.

Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 17:58     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
If this is an issue now, it will be more of one later.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 17:54     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
OP, don't listen to the people who want you to feel bad. What you are seeking is fine.

But you two are not compatible.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 17:50     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seems like if this is an issue you should filter for it earlier on. Seems like something that's pretty easy to ballpark.


OP here. That’s what I’ve been doing with men but we met on a night out and it all happened so quick.


PP here and if you're pulling in like $300K combined and you only want to stay home for a few years you can easily build up enough savings to make that happen. It would be harder if you never went back or are in a field where it's hard to re-enter but I assume that's not the case.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 17:47     Subject: Re:Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a stand home mom so yes, you do want a meal ticket.

Accept who you are, dump the good guy, let him find a good girl, and go find you a man who will pay for your life without much in return.


OP here. I don’t think a woman staying home is a meal ticket. My mom worked very hard to raise 6 kids. They both worked but in different spectrums.

I also don’t plan to quit working forever. If I did stay home, it would only be max of 3-5 years until kids go to school. I don’t see a point in staying home after that.